Opened door into child’s face

[ShillyShallySherbet]

This afternoon I was with young DD in a tiny and crowded village hall vestibule waiting for an after school club to start and suddenly and desperately she needed the toilet, so I took her to the toilet. The main door to the toilets is a door you push with no window in it. Admittedly I was in a rush as I didn’t want DD to miss the start of her class and I pushed the door quite fast and it banged right into a small child’s face on the other side. The child started screaming and their mum, who was standing behind them about to pull the door from the other side, looked utterly livid. Of course I immediately apologised profusely to the mum and child but the child was so upset and the mum just shook her head at me and walked past us into the vestibule. I carried on into the toilets where DC decided she no longer need the toilet! On the way out I passed the mum comforting her child and apologised again. She ignored me. Eventually DD and the little girl, who had calmed down and was fine, went into their class but it was oh so awkward. It’s left me wondering did I deserve to be made to feel so awful. Please vote (getting my hard hat on)

YABU you should have opened the door more carefully anticipating someone could be on the other side

YANBU it was an accident and the mum should have accepted my apology

Some doors actually fly open much faster than you think they will. It was just an accident. You've offered her an apology, she doesn't have to accept it, that's her choice. Just move on with your life. No one's perfect, you'll probably open doors with more caution which isn't a bad thing. Some people just always think the worst of people, just let them.

It was an accident. No-one's fault. Just a case of you both being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The fact you still feel bad about it shows you are a kind, caring person.
You apologised, and the child was able to carry on happily with the after school club so clearly not seriously injured.
It can happen to any of us.

I am sure the mum will have got over it by the time you meet again.
She may be feeling awkward too.

Not your fault.
child should not have been right behind the door.
you apologised, accidents happen. Don’t feel bad

@Forfrigz i don’t think the other mum was rude at all, she was upset her child was injured. She was tending to her child - which should be her priority, not the OPs hurt feelings.

It's not about the OP's feeling it's about ignoring someone when they are speaking to you showing that you lack respect. In the first instance she may have been too busy but the OP returned later to apologise and was again ignored. It's utterly vile behaviour to black someone who is offering an apology for a mistake, especially when the kid was fine. And her child will likely grow up to be the same.

If my child had just had a door on her face I would be too busy sorting her to worry if I was rude or didn't acknowledge your apology. I'm sure you would feel the same too. You'd be a little bit peeved off just before a class for the child to have that happen and then be upset. I'm a bit of a worrier so I would panic personally.

Accidents happen, you apologised and you said your going to be more careful in the future not much more you can do!

Personally if I was the child's parent I would of probably said after everything's calmed down, thank you for apologising these things happen.

Don't let it ruin your evening/weekend! You seem to feel bad enough so that shows you care!

It was an accident, you apologised sincerely a number of times- I think the other mum was wrong to not accept this and be so mean!

Kid shouldn't have been standing behind the door and you should have pushed it so hard.

It was an accident, don't worry about it.

If the kids mums this upset at a door opening hurting her kid, wait until secondary school 😂

I’d have been bloody angry if a grown woman-a mother no less, who really should’ve known better-had hurt my child due to pure carelessness and clumsiness. I would have accepted your apology mind you, but would have prioritised comforting my child rather than going out of my way to acknowledge it.

@Forfrigz i still totally disagree with you. It’s easy to say “in that situation I would’ve done X/y/z” but none of us were there and none of us could say how we would’ve reacted as that other mother, who had just seen her daughter injured by OP banging the door into her child’s head. The poor mother was tending to her child - she was likely upset as well. There is no need to bash this woman at all for doing what she should’ve done, and that is to make sure her child is ok. Just because she didn’t offer reassurance to the OP does not make her rude or “vile”. You are making horrible accusations that her child will grow up rude because of her mother failing to acknowledge OPs apologies - yet you don’t make mention of OPs child growing up like OP and swinging doors into other peoples faces?

😂 I'm sure the OP'S child will make many mistakes in life as we all do. The point is that when you make a mistake that hurts someone, you apologise and move on. The OP did this and was rudely ignored. In the first instance it could be passable but when she returned later to offer apologies again she was blanked, the child was fine and the woman wouldn't speak to her. That's just rude, and it's a shame that the other woman's child has seen that. The child now thinks 'when people hurt me even if by mistake I need to never speak to them' and 'if I make a mistake, I shouldn't apologise as people will ignore me. Apologies are useless.'
This isn't about feelings it's about showing respect to one another and accepting that accidents happen. My goodness what a ridiculous world it'd be if whenever anyone made a mistake they deserve to be shunned. I'm sure none of us would have any friends at all if that was so.

@Forfrigz we will have to agree to disagree. What is rude is going round opening doors and hurting children - albeit accidentally. If it was the other way round and it was the other woman posting this, I’m sure the woman throwing open the door would be savaged. OP is an adult, she should’ve known better than to throw open a door when she did not know what was the other side. It’s not about friends / apologies - it’s simple basic awareness of others. OP hurt a child - the mother of this child was upset. How do you know that this other child doesn’t have a condition that could be exacerbated by trauma to the head? None of us know this. So many people are jumping on the other mother for not telling OP “it’s fine”. At the end of the day, OP apologised for what she did. She shouldn’t continue to mull over it. She did what she did, apologised and that’s that. I’m sure the other woman’s child won’t grow up as a little devil not giving two hoots about other peoples feelings. None of us know the full scenario, only OP and this other woman.

I still have no idea what british men have to do with anything in your argument.

Going through a door has nothing to do with entitlement. At worst OP was a bit careless and she apologised. That's all there is to it.

This.
Just as much the other Mums fault as yours, she shouldn't have been standing just behind the door.

Perhaps if there had been some sort of ‘engaged’ sign on the door (and I’m assuming there wasn’t) the whole incident could have been avoided. The owner should take a bit of responsibility for general safety.

Unless they had extra long elasticated arms they would need to stand behind the door in order to open it wouldn’t they?

Sounds like you are most concerned with how the Mum reacted and not accepting your apology immediately.

have you not thought that perhaps after seeing her child have a door in the face and then screaming / crying perhaps she was focused on comforting her child rather than accepting your apology and making you feel better? Perhaps give her a bit of time to actually calm down herself. Some people take time to process stuff that happens when it’s fast and a shock and noise etc. you don’t know her mental state - perhaps she had already had a million tons of bad stuff go on prior to this?

you apologised and did your best and yes it was an accident. We dont apologise in life to get immediate forgiveness. We apologise to take responsibility.

It was just an accident but one you can learn from. I once pulled open a door at work just as a colleague on crutches had leaned with all his weight against the door to push it open and he fell flat on his face. I was mortified but he wasn’t seriously harmed and he very nicely acknowledged it was an accident

YANBU. Accidents happen and you apologised.

A woman opened the passenger door of ny car today at the supermarket (clearly mistaken) and I said, “Oh, hello!” to stop her in her tracks. She shouted, “Oh GOD!” And slammed the door shut, waking up my 15 week old, who is currently in the throes of the dreaded 4m sleep regression, from a much needed nap 🙃 without apologising. Two similar scenarios - one desperately sorry, the other not at all.

The mum had no duty to make you feel better by accepting your apology.

I have had this before well before I had children, I was mortified and apologetic but the parents were like the one you said. It was an accident and they happen. I get that it’s their child and if the book was on the other foot I would be upset but I would just be more interested that my child was ok.

Frankly I wouldn't care about OPs feelings if I was damn angry and would blank her too. You don't get to demand people acknowledge you when you've injured their child and made them angry I'm afraid.

Some people love being victims and when an opportunity presents itself, they milk it. It is a vile personality trait.

Accidents happen and as long as the person realises their mistake and makes an effort to say sorry then it's fine. It's called forgiveness and is a valuable lesson for the kids.

YANTB it’s the mother’s fault for not keeping an eye on where her child was.