Opened door into child’s face

[ShillyShallySherbet]

This afternoon I was with young DD in a tiny and crowded village hall vestibule waiting for an after school club to start and suddenly and desperately she needed the toilet, so I took her to the toilet. The main door to the toilets is a door you push with no window in it. Admittedly I was in a rush as I didn’t want DD to miss the start of her class and I pushed the door quite fast and it banged right into a small child’s face on the other side. The child started screaming and their mum, who was standing behind them about to pull the door from the other side, looked utterly livid. Of course I immediately apologised profusely to the mum and child but the child was so upset and the mum just shook her head at me and walked past us into the vestibule. I carried on into the toilets where DC decided she no longer need the toilet! On the way out I passed the mum comforting her child and apologised again. She ignored me. Eventually DD and the little girl, who had calmed down and was fine, went into their class but it was oh so awkward. It’s left me wondering did I deserve to be made to feel so awful. Please vote (getting my hard hat on)

YABU you should have opened the door more carefully anticipating someone could be on the other side

YANBU it was an accident and the mum should have accepted my apology

Think you were bu to push a door so fast in a small area crowded with little children yes.reckless.

You didn't do it on purpose, little one wasn't knocked out, just shocked. Stuff like this happens x

It was an accident! We are all human and actually u posting here and all of us reading this may just make us all stop for a second when being near doors and many peoples faces could be saved!! Let it go!! Life is too short!

Were it your own child I'd imagine you'd be pissed off in the exact way the mother was. You did hurt her child after all.

I’m not sure we can use the word ‘trauma’ in this scenario

This thread is gold. I've never read such a hysterical bunch of responses.

Like almost every situation similar to this, you’re probably both a bit to blame. She’s being salty for no reason, you should’ve been a bit more careful. Life’s grey not black and white.

It was an accident...not deliberately done! You cannot see what is on the other side. You apologised more than once and that is all you could do. The fact that the childs Mother did not accept your apology is her problem not yours. Both Mother and Child must have got a fright and both have acted in the moment. The Mother if she has any sense will have calmed down now and realised it was what it was ... an accident. You will have learned from this... and probably in the future you will be extra careful at opening a door from the other side. Do not give yourself a bad time Op xx

Huh???

You traumatised every time you experience a near physical incident? I don’t mean being a foot away from an object falling from a great height it was a door which swung into child’s face. I don’t call that a trauma, sorry.

Trauma?? You want to know trauma? My friends lost their DC when a neighbour reversed in to their driveway and hit the child who died instantly. My friends spoke out in the local news coverage stating that they held no ill will to their neighbour. That’s trauma. I’m not sure I would be as forgiving in that instance but this situation was an accident where nobody was hurt and the kids mum behaved unnecessarily. There’s so much entitlement on this thread.

Ok trauma was a shit word but no need to be pedantic - the other mother was obviously upset, in shock, pissed off etc etc - but I was making the point that in getting pissy about her not accepting the apology op wants it all to be about her and her upset.

YANBU. I remember my nan once closed a door on my thumb when I was 4 or 5. In all fairness I was being annoying, not wanting to go to bed for the night. My nail fell off and I was in a good deal of pain. I remember her reaction was, "serves you right". It's true this was my own grandmother. So long as the child survived your stormy entrance, it will make them stronger.

OP isn’t getting pissy she’s hurt that her apology for -let’s face it, a very minor incident in the big scheme of things - received this reaction. Of course the other mum was pissed off - we all would be but it’s possible to harbour anger and still acknowledge that this wasn’t a deliberate act and that OP was very sorry. The OP’s feelings of hurt are just as valid as the other mum’s. How do we teach our kids to interact like well balanced human beings and move on from petty disputes if their parents can’t?

You will inadvertently do something which can cause harm to another human being at some point through lack of awareness of your actions, whether it actually does or not is another point.

If you don't think you will I suggest you look up the dunning-kruger effect.

Significant parts of the population have low spatial awareness, there is a bell curve on this.

This is why we have road signs and don't just leave people to it.

@UWhatNow
Ok trauma was a shit word but no need to be pedantic - the other mother was obviously upset, in shock, pissed off etc etc - but I was making the point that in getting pissy about her not accepting the apology op wants it all to be about her and her upset.

comletwly agree. Offering an apology is all you can do , you can’t expect to be absolved of guilt by someone accepting that apology.

100% agree with this. Some very divisive responses on here. Justifying really rude behaviour because of a minor incident. Even if she was angry/upset/in shock etc, the injury itself was (proven later) to be minor.

Why still be angry because of a genuine accident? A simple acknowledgment would have sufficed. Ignoring somebody is childish and immature and that’s what her child was seeing and learning from sadly.

I can’t believe this thread is still running on. If you apologised and the child is fine; I wouldn’t give it another thought. Whoever said ’trauma’ must have lived an extremely sheltered life. Lucky them.

I dine out on this tale occasionally, to show how tough my dear Mum was when I was young. Around 10 at the time, the Prep School Headmaster had a small cadre of male teachers. All were keen on Sport and we were doing 4 mile cross-country runs 3 times a week, which generated an early love for running. One day before we set off on the side of the road opposite our playing fields, a bunch of us were waiting in a crocodile, with the master at the head. I was at the back. We were waiting for a couple more boys to join us, so I asked if I could nip back to the school for a quick pee. As I couldn't see the cars coming from the right, he said he would tell me when it was safe to cross. I thought I heard him say 'OK' (he hadn't; it just sounded like that in the jumble of boys chattering). I leaped into the road and was hit by a black car. I recall somersaulting in the air, as the car struck my right buttock and landing on my rear. I got up, feeling none the worse for wear. In fact, as I glanced at the car, which had screeched to a halt, I noticed I had indented the poor bloke's left front mudguard. I recall being led to the school (no screaming ambulances, no Police and I wasn't crying). My mother was called and it wasn't long before I was being reprimanded: "Well, it must've been your fault!" (Same old, same old, I thought). In those days teachers were respected and scrapes happened. Yes, maybe I was lucky to escape without a fractured pelvis, but I recall clearly the lack of drama compared to today. So, YANBU. An oversight ... or in this case, no Superman® X-ray vision. Move on. The kid will toughen up.

From some of the replies you’d think OP booted the toddler to the face then released a triumphant cry in its mum’s face.

Two lessons learned - be careful with doors and don’t let small children stand with the nose against them. Oh, and a third - MN is dramatic AF.

LMAO… No I just know that accidents happen & can see the funny side of things. I’m quite normal thank you very much, whereas the mother in OP’s post is a judgmental, angry person who should take joint responsibility as she let her child get ahead of her behind an inwards swinging doorway.
I get the feeling you would have reacted like the mum in OP’s post 🙄

Again… accidents happen, OP did not hit the kid maliciously, it was an accident & OP also apologised profusely but the mum choose to take it as a personal attack.

I’m the eldest of 5, was a nanny to 5 boys for 10years & over my child-caring career, 35 years, I have cared for over 30 kids.

Been in this & similar situations a few times because, & I will say this again & elaborate for clarity incase you missed it in my 1st comment, when kids don’t listen, especially in enclosed spaces, they generally get hurt in these sort of situations & this is generally because they aren’t listening or paying attention to their surroundings.
There is only so much you can do to protect kids in some situations because they are crazy little people who have their own ideas of what is appropriate in certain places & at different times to you.

It was an accident. You apologised. SHE was rude and unreasonable!!

I'm a bit.confused about why some posters think the mum of the injured child has to be responsible for OP feeling happy in preference to looking after her child. Certainly I would prioritise looking after my physically injured child before petting and sympathising with the uninjured adult. Everyone should have been more careful, but any adults really ought to be able to understand nobody ever said, not ever will say "thank you for injuring my kid by rushing about, I do hope you don't feel bad about it" while their kid is sobbing in actual pain.

@MRex yes yes so much this. Also ut seems OP needs to be forgiven to be able to forgive herself which seems pretty toxic really

In which culture do women 'not speak much', pray tell?