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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dd playmate friend now bulling dd on state of our house

170 replies

IncessantNameChanger · 05/01/2023 16:37

I can't get my head around this. Dd is in year 3. Her friend is 7. She came for a playdate about two months ago. Dd has just told me that her friend has only now started telling people about our house. Dd shares a room ( she is one of four). We live in employers cottage in an extremely money area.

I could understand it if 1) the kid was older 2) it was straight after the event.

How does a little kid get so snooby and nasty about money / size of house so young? Why has it taken two months to become bullying material? I won't be ever having that child in my house again but it's now made wary of any play dates. Dd is my youngest. Never had this angle of bullying before.

OP posts:
willowbow · 05/01/2023 20:05

Catswhisky · 05/01/2023 19:47

@willowbow @sallyfacts it may have only been one person who corrected OP but how did it help OPs problem or help the thread to carry it on and on? Just start a thread in pedants corner or whatever it’s called if it matters that much to you all.

Creating a thread about a thread is breaking guidelines and would be deleted.

Catswhisky · 05/01/2023 20:05

@IncessantNameChangerWithDyslexiaAndADegree loving the namechange

Clairedelaplume · 05/01/2023 20:06

Do you think maybe this girl has recently been on the receiving end of the same kind of jibes and is trying to throw your daughter under the bus as a distraction technique and/or mimicking the behaviour?

Aw, @Cam22 , I do hope I never, ever bump into you at a party. Possibly the most boring little saddo I’ve come into contact with all day. Maybe get yourself a hobby dear.

Catswhisky · 05/01/2023 20:08

willowbow · 05/01/2023 20:05

Creating a thread about a thread is breaking guidelines and would be deleted.

Show quote history

Creating a thread about the correct words for whatever the hell it was the pp said wrong wouldn’t be a TAT. I’m not participating in detail anymore.

Catswhisky · 05/01/2023 20:08

*derail before I get started on

willowbow · 05/01/2023 20:14

It would have been reported as a TAAT discussing the same thing. I think people were remonstrating with Begonia but then it escalated.

The grammar posts had stopped anyway, so no need to tag people.

willowbow · 05/01/2023 20:15

That was to @Catswhisky

Cam22 · 05/01/2023 20:20

Clairedelaplume · 05/01/2023 20:06

Do you think maybe this girl has recently been on the receiving end of the same kind of jibes and is trying to throw your daughter under the bus as a distraction technique and/or mimicking the behaviour?

Aw, @Cam22 , I do hope I never, ever bump into you at a party. Possibly the most boring little saddo I’ve come into contact with all day. Maybe get yourself a hobby dear.

“Aw, @Cam22 , I do hope I never, ever bump into you at a party”

I doubt we move in the same circles. As for your most amusing “dear” - gosh what a searing put down. 😆

Cam22 · 05/01/2023 20:24

Catswhisky · 05/01/2023 19:47

@willowbow @sallyfacts it may have only been one person who corrected OP but how did it help OPs problem or help the thread to carry it on and on? Just start a thread in pedants corner or whatever it’s called if it matters that much to you all.

…pedants’…

Catswhisky · 05/01/2023 20:25

Cam22 · 05/01/2023 20:24

…pedants’…

Show quote history

That made me laugh

Cam22 · 05/01/2023 20:27

🤪

sallyfacts · 05/01/2023 20:28

😅

Isahlo · 05/01/2023 20:33

IncessantNameChanger · 05/01/2023 17:00

It's bullying as dd has said the playmate is saying dds room is tiny, untidy and she gasp - shares it with a brother. It's enought to make my dd feel like is a weirdo and she is really upset by it. It's small shared by a 8 and 10 year old both with ASD. It's never going to be a showroom. Toys are on show and in use and its only got about 2m of floorspace with the bunk bed and draws.

I feel embarrassed too. Like we are destitute and I'm failing her. She was in tears last night. I have told the teacher, told the senco but both say its all very normal. I know bullying is normal. I just think this aspect is weird. the other child also lives in a small semi but has a loft conversion and only two siblings. Two BMW on the drive but the mum seems lovely

I don’t think this necessarily equates to bullying.
it seems small. If they were playing and stuff was out, it’s potentially untidy and she does share it with her brother.

what’s needed here is a little bit of circle time at school where the teacher spends ten minutes talking about how all children and grown ups live in different types of homes.

(I was a teacher that’s what I would do anyway!)

Treacletoots · 05/01/2023 20:58

The child will undoubtedly be copying someone, and my money is on the parents.

You're right that speaking to the parent often doesn't end well, and if, as I suspect they're only nice because they're keeping up appearances, rather than actually being nice, I think we all know how that will go.

Me, projecting much... I'd be teaching your DC some suitable comebacks and a resting bitch face. Never to early to learn that 👌

Clairedelaplume · 05/01/2023 21:06

@Cam22 Yes I’m sure you’re VERY important 😁

SproutsLCerVEGNoEgg · 06/01/2023 10:02

Cam22 · 05/01/2023 18:17

It’s most amusing when someone tries to defend an error by saying that on a “casual forum” you don’t need to bother. Huh?! Some people seem to think you can switch correct grammar, correct spelling and well expressed English off and on! That’s just not the case.

If you KNOW how to spell a word correctly or how to express yourself properly or how to write in grammatical sentences you will do that automatically, for goodness’ sake! No one decides to make mistakes because the sky is blue or because it’s Tuesday!

Do you have an iPhone? Mine is a proper. Little Badtard!! (See not what I typed!! I have to force the correct version. Bastard!

it changes positive/negative word would/wouldn't & all sorts.

it changes they're/their/there & to/too/two etc

not to mention things look ok & it changes them after I send a message/post.

sometimes it changes things so much that even I don't know what I was trying to say!!!

it's going to get me in real trouble one day!!

it regularly gets threatened to be rehomed!!

I suspect if anyone regularly reads my posts, they'd come to the conclusion my education had stopped in year 1!!

and MN REFUSING to fix the capital letters issue, really doesn't help!

one thing I'll own up to as being ME is typing 'sounds' not the correct word (and I see it on others posts). (Such as our/are)

if/of. Not sure if that's fat fingers or phone, probably both!!

dancinfeet · 06/01/2023 11:06

I once had a child aged 8 come in and say to my DD- OUR house is much tidier than yours. Luckily I overheard, and and came straight back with- it ought to be, your mum doesn’t work! (just to add, she was a SAHM with a husband who worked, 3 kids and her 8 year old was the youngest. I was a single mum working 45+ hrs a week running my own business and with a toddler as well as my 7 year off, and no family support. And the ‘untidy’ part of the living room she was referring to, was my home office corner- the rest of the house was tidy 😂). Yes, kids of this age can totally mean to be offensive.

IhearyouClemFandango · 06/01/2023 11:11

Yeah, well done you, you "clapped back" at an 8 year old by attempting to insult her mother. Slow clap

GrinAndVomit · 06/01/2023 11:24

dancinfeet · 06/01/2023 11:06

I once had a child aged 8 come in and say to my DD- OUR house is much tidier than yours. Luckily I overheard, and and came straight back with- it ought to be, your mum doesn’t work! (just to add, she was a SAHM with a husband who worked, 3 kids and her 8 year old was the youngest. I was a single mum working 45+ hrs a week running my own business and with a toddler as well as my 7 year off, and no family support. And the ‘untidy’ part of the living room she was referring to, was my home office corner- the rest of the house was tidy 😂). Yes, kids of this age can totally mean to be offensive.

Yes, kids of this age can totally mean to be offensive.

So can grown women apparently.

Only one is supposed to know better.

Rosebel · 06/01/2023 11:29

It's horrible and IMO rude children grow in to rude adults. Like my DDs (thankfully) ex boyfriend who took great delight in ripping our house and lifestyle apart. Sorry to say he was a cunt and 16 so old enough to know better.
I'd tell your DD that she should avoid this girl and also consider if this school is the right environment for DD. If the teachers abd Senco think bullying is normal (which it is) but do nothing to tackle it then it's not a good school. They should at least talk to the children about being kind and about who you are as a person is more important than the size of your house.
I'm really concerned by the number of posters who think a child constantly upsetting another is fine as long as what she's saying is truthful. Bullying is never okay.

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