Dd playmate friend now bulling dd on state of our house

[IncessantNameChanger]

I can't get my head around this. Dd is in year 3. Her friend is 7. She came for a playdate about two months ago. Dd has just told me that her friend has only now started telling people about our house. Dd shares a room ( she is one of four). We live in employers cottage in an extremely money area.

I could understand it if 1) the kid was older 2) it was straight after the event.

How does a little kid get so snooby and nasty about money / size of house so young? Why has it taken two months to become bullying material? I won't be ever having that child in my house again but it's now made wary of any play dates. Dd is my youngest. Never had this angle of bullying before.

It isn’t helpful. Helpful would be if you responded with that after somebody posted and said ‘I struggle with SPAG, could anybody help identify the mistakes I’ve made?’

The intention when people do those snotty little posts is not to be helpful. It’s to look clever. And it all too often backfires when the people make mistakes themselves.

Bollocks are you being helpful, you're being condescending.

Do you genuinely think of all the teachers the OP has had in their life, you're going to come along on a white horse and be the one to 'make the change'? 🙄

Just this. OP hasn't made clear if the comments were made just the once in a factual way or if its repeated and done to cause intentional harm. I think the OP seems more put out than the actual DD.

I love it when a thread derails.

@FromTheFront2theBack

Begonias decided to correct the OP's SPAG. In doing so she made a glaring error herself. Hence the responses!

But if you are desperate to be super helpful - there is a programme near me where asylum seekers are able to access free English lessons. They are always looking for volunteer tutors. Please pm me for the details if you’re looking to satisfy your urges to help people master the English language in a way that doesn’t make you look like a grade-A fuckwit.

Wonderful. Now look up the word 'Condescending'.

MNHQ started to delete people a little while back for being spelling and grammar wankers.

I hope they do the same here.

I still cringe to this day about a tactless comment I made on visiting someone in their tiny house. Kids often don't realise the impact of what they're saying.

I'm sorry your DD feels like this. I was embarrassed of my home growing up and I didn't like having friends round. Unfortunately it has now passed onto my children and I don't like them inviting children round.

I would tell your DD to report to a teacher every time this girl says something. Try and give her a response she can use too, this helped me.

It’s a shame that a child this age is making negative comments about this.

I’m confused about why the teacher says bullying is normal. And does this mean she is not planning to do anything about it?

Did you not read my comment? I didn't comment on whether or not it was acceptable. I was making the point that it's not a genuine attempt to be helpful. If someone's being an arse correcting someone's SpaG and they're only post is littered with erros by all means point out that a) no one cares and b) they're not perfect either. BUT don't pretend you're providing a public service in helping people improve their literacy skills.

Aaaaaaaa and before the grammar Nazis point it out that should be their not they're.

How is it bullying that she’s telling others your daughter shares with a 10yo brother? It’s a fact. Is it a messy room? If so, again, the child is stating facts.

I get it’s not nice to hear, but she’s only saying what she’s seen.

Did you not read my comment? I never said it was helpful.

@TheYearOfSmallThings I think you’ve described it really well here.

It’s most amusing when someone tries to defend an error by saying that on a “casual forum” you don’t need to bother. Huh?! Some people seem to think you can switch correct grammar, correct spelling and well expressed English off and on! That’s just not the case.

If you KNOW how to spell a word correctly or how to express yourself properly or how to write in grammatical sentences you will do that automatically, for goodness’ sake! No one decides to make mistakes because the sky is blue or because it’s Tuesday!

Were you there when she said it?

The other child is being unkind, but it is not bullying unless it is ongoing. So, shes not being very nice if shes said it a couple of times but its bullying if she keeps saying it over and over.

And ‘error’ I presume should be ‘errors’?

Were you there when she said it?

Do you think I was there when she said it?

Draws is the plural of the verb to draw, as in art.

Erm…draws is a verb. It doesn’t have a plural.

Drawer is singular.
Drawers is plural.
Draws is a verb.

”plural verb”
Actually made me laugh out loud. That’s some big balls to come on to lecture someone on their spelling error but make such an grammatically incorrect correction!

It's got fuck all to do with anyone if posters make mistakes.

As long as we can understand them, that's all that matters.

There's a girls in my DD friendship group. Same age. She'd compare people's houses on play dates. "My garden is bigger than yours" "my bedroom is better than yours" etc. turns out the mother does it so she's just copying.