WIBU to get involved with schools disciplinary process?

[throwawayname00]

Long story short.
Last term in my DS8 and a bunch of boys in his class were involved in some bullying of another child. it was reported and dealt with by the school.

Parents were called, kids were talked to and for the rest of that school term the 'bullying' boys were not allowed to play together. I personally felt that was a bit OTT but went with it.

We've gone back to school this term and DS has come home saying he still isn't allowed to play with the other boys, they are all being kept apart during class times, lunch times and play times.
And this was announced to them all by the teacher in front of the whole class with her saying "XYZ, you still aren't allowed to play together because I still can't trust you"

I'm intending to speak to the teacher at pick up or maybe just email the school directly.
I feel this has been dragged from one term into another by the teacher, i feel they were spoken to by teachers, head teacher and parents. They were kept apart for 2/3 weeks last term and it could have been left there.
And calling them out like that in front of their peer group is awful IMO.

I want to use this thread to check myself before I go in guns blazing.
WIBU to step in at this point?

Except for the fact that they hadn’t gotten in trouble and have a clear expectation that once their leg heals they’ll be able to play again.

I really do see what’re you are going as an adult. But a preteen is just going understand the nuance.

to protect pupils from harm
to deter others from doing that behaviour
to punish bad behaviour
to teach pupils right from wrong

Even if points 3 and 4 have been achieved, point 1 alone is sufficient to continue keeping the boys apart from one another. The teacher has said that he still can’t be trusted, undoubtedly that’s because he’s not behaving any better than he was (or not well enough).

Going back to this underlined bit… all I’m asking is has the teacher shared with anyone (child/parent) what they are looking for. From the sounds of it they haven’t. And is that appropriate for the child if they haven’t.

I would say a reasonable punishment would be separation for a specified time with behavior level of X (whatever method is currently in place for measuring behavior). Then after that period is over a second occurrence will result in <increasing consequences >

But as I've said above @saltinesandcoffeecups school is only stopping them socialising at school. They're not being kept apart after school or weekends!

It’s still a punishment to them.

@saltinesandcoffeecups Either you were teaching at that school in Dead Poets Society or it wasn’t bullying but a group of boys having a fight about something. The fact that you couldn’t tell who was in the wrong makes that clear. If it had been bullying you’d have ‘punished’ the victim by asking him to work with the kids bullying him to write an apology letter to his parents, which is clearly ridiculous.

Most people’s experiences with bullying are that being asked to work together in the way you describe would simply expose the victim to further torment. The bullies mocking the tone of the victim’s letter, his mum and dad’s names, his family address etc etc etc.

Bullying isn’t fisticuffs, it’s a process of emotional torment. You haven’t solved bullying, just helped some kids find common ground after a minor scuffle.

Ok, one more vote for I suck. Noted.

@saltinesandcoffeecups I wasn’t saying you suck, just suggesting that your experience isn’t really relevant to the thread.

Maybe just ask how long this is going to go on for-it may he that they just want to sternly remind the boys before letting them mix again. It may only be a thing for this week.