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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what age you stopped enjoying going “out out”

203 replies

Abstractlron · 04/01/2023 17:19

Just that really. I’m 29 and living in the city as a working professional. Up until the last 6 months or so, I guess you could say I’ve very much lived a ‘work hard, play hard’ sort of lifestyle involving a lot of socialising, drinking and late nights out. Over the past few months it’s as though a switch has been flipped and suddenly it’s just no fun anymore. The idea of a cosy night in, or a nice meal out with a couple of drinks and being back at home and in bed by 12pm is far more appealing!

The majority of my friends here in the city around my age are still very much in to the party way of life and are showing no signs of slowing down… so I wondered, when did the switch happen for you?!

OP posts:
DuncanBiscuits · 05/01/2023 08:38

My last visit to a club was when I was 38. Some awful twenty odd year old grabbed my fanny on the dance floor and tried to woo me with the promise, ‘I’ve got a Premier Inn.’

I fell asleep in a toilet cubicle and lost my shoelaces.

And that was the end of that.

GooglyEyeballs · 05/01/2023 08:38

Around the same age as you OP. Although probably a bit earlier, more like in the last year of my PhD when I was 28. But my lifestyle and priorities naturally changed. I like going to a pub or a nice bar or restaurant now. Or having a dinner party with nice wine and good conversation. Saying that though I do still enjoy a good house party on occasion with like minded people but it's a bit more sophisticated than when I was younger!

VioletaDelValle · 05/01/2023 08:47

I'll let you know if it ever happens, but I very much doubt it will.

Same here. I'm 41 and DH is 51 and we still love a good night out.

Ragwort · 05/01/2023 08:59

I don't think I've been to a club, late night bar or music venue since I left Uni - 40 years ago Shock. Maybe I am boring but it just wouldn't occur to me. I don't 'sit at home' every evening but my interests are pretty tame ... cinema, meeting friends for a meal, societies, talks & lectures .... that sort of thing.

Ragwort · 05/01/2023 09:02

And I would never, ever want to go dancing ... my heart sinks at a wedding if we are expected to 'dance' ... in fact I can't remember a single time in our 35 year marriage where my DH and I have danced Grin. We had a very small wedding ourselves ... lunch out and that was it ... definitely no dancing.

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 05/01/2023 10:37

I'm 43 and I honestly can't think of anything worse.

Last year the Christmas works do was at a hotel a "dinner and dance" so I drove to the meal and then drove home after because I hate anything like that - nothing more cringe than a load of middle age women throwing themselves round the dance floor looking like total twats thinking they are Shania Twain!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️ circa 1997!!!! Singing at any man who comes near them!!'

I am hoping that they just book a meal this year as only about 8 people (Including the deluded 60 year old woman who apparently thought she was Shania Twain!!) out of 34 people going!!!) Actually wanted the disco and stayed in that room and everyone else went into the bar at the hotel and just had drinks and left shortly afterwards.
All depends on what you like tho, each to your own I guess.
Not to mention the money it's so expensive at an already very expensive time of year.

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 05/01/2023 10:39

DuncanBiscuits · 05/01/2023 08:38

My last visit to a club was when I was 38. Some awful twenty odd year old grabbed my fanny on the dance floor and tried to woo me with the promise, ‘I’ve got a Premier Inn.’

I fell asleep in a toilet cubicle and lost my shoelaces.

And that was the end of that.

I hope you reported that!!! It's sexual assault
Disgusting behaviour

DuncanBiscuits · 05/01/2023 11:04

I didn’t, regrettably.

PrincessConstance · 05/01/2023 11:17

I much prefer meals and a bar to a full-on clubbing night out. Probably a girl's night once every 2-3 months.
DP went out on NYE, and an old acquaintance offered him a day residency at a new club he was angling to begin for 'Older' people. He said no.
Dp said the older end look like they were melting with alcohol being processed as they were drinking. Wax face he called it.😂

Siameasy · 05/01/2023 11:33

46 and love it still!!

stripyladybird · 05/01/2023 13:34

About 29. Finally had enough. Now live in the countryside wfh and very happy.

Baconand · 05/01/2023 13:36

About 23 when I bought my own house, was much happier with dinner and a few drinks then home.

xogossipgirlxo · 05/01/2023 13:42

Hmm around 21-22. I like wedding once a year (unfortunately it seems like we were last couple to get married!) or going to pub and staying there for 2-3 beers until midnight, but that's it. I hate hangover and I always wake up before 9AM no matter what time I go to sleep.

MardyMincepie · 05/01/2023 13:58

About 48 though I did go clubbing and to a casino for my 50 birthday, which seems quite old compared to everyone else. I did work in an environment where there were lots of people in their late twenties and early thirties. I suppose I got away with it because I am Chinese and look considerably younger, thank you Asian genes.

DH and I both had multiple black tie do’s because of our workplaces every year, I also used to get a lot of free dinners and lunches. I am very early retired (50) and do miss all that lovely free food and wine. It’s been all cut back now and changed radically according to my colleagues who still work there, got out at just the right time apparently.

LahLahLoopsy · 05/01/2023 19:59

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 05/01/2023 10:37

I'm 43 and I honestly can't think of anything worse.

Last year the Christmas works do was at a hotel a "dinner and dance" so I drove to the meal and then drove home after because I hate anything like that - nothing more cringe than a load of middle age women throwing themselves round the dance floor looking like total twats thinking they are Shania Twain!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️ circa 1997!!!! Singing at any man who comes near them!!'

I am hoping that they just book a meal this year as only about 8 people (Including the deluded 60 year old woman who apparently thought she was Shania Twain!!) out of 34 people going!!!) Actually wanted the disco and stayed in that room and everyone else went into the bar at the hotel and just had drinks and left shortly afterwards.
All depends on what you like tho, each to your own I guess.
Not to mention the money it's so expensive at an already very expensive time of year.

Well aren't you a fucking peach?

I imagine they are all evry happy that you won;t deign to join them.

icelolly12 · 05/01/2023 20:19

Angelofthenortheast · 04/01/2023 17:31

About 28

I just started to realise that most nights out are waiting in queues, stilted conversations and people trying to break up the monotony by either moving bars, moving seats or going to look for someone who's 'disappeared'

Hahaha, this is the best description of a night out ever

😂I realise I had to get ridiculously drunk to endure it, and then the next day or two was usually spent worrying about what I did or said or who I might have offended!

Started going off nights out and heavy drinking when I hit my thirties, now I prefer a book and a hot chocolate!

OoooohMatron · 05/01/2023 20:36

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 05/01/2023 10:37

I'm 43 and I honestly can't think of anything worse.

Last year the Christmas works do was at a hotel a "dinner and dance" so I drove to the meal and then drove home after because I hate anything like that - nothing more cringe than a load of middle age women throwing themselves round the dance floor looking like total twats thinking they are Shania Twain!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️ circa 1997!!!! Singing at any man who comes near them!!'

I am hoping that they just book a meal this year as only about 8 people (Including the deluded 60 year old woman who apparently thought she was Shania Twain!!) out of 34 people going!!!) Actually wanted the disco and stayed in that room and everyone else went into the bar at the hotel and just had drinks and left shortly afterwards.
All depends on what you like tho, each to your own I guess.
Not to mention the money it's so expensive at an already very expensive time of year.

I'd rather spend the evening with 60 year old Shania Twain than you, at least she can have a laugh. I can just imagine you sitting there judging everyone with a cats bum mouth drinking lemonade.

Minimochi · 05/01/2023 20:40

At about 14...I didn't smoke or do drugs, I didn't like drunk boys staring at my boobs and I don't get pissed (as in, I don't fall about and lose control...I can drink quite a lot without too much of a problem, actually). Just never understood the appeal. I'd much rather hang out at home, have a bbq, drinks, pool in the garden...invite friends I want to spend time with. (I have to interact with people all day at work. I don't want to see any in my free time.)
I think it might be due to the fact that I grew up in a quite rural area. So if you went to a party, you either then had to walk home in the dark, take the last bus or get picked up by your parents.

Zanatdy · 05/01/2023 20:43

Hard to say as I was a teenage mum so I never got to over do the pubs and clubs scene. So I was still enjoying them in my early 30’s but I stopped drinking completely for over a decade due a health issue so I stopped going to pubs. I still met friends for meals. Lately I’ve been for a few drinks now and then and enjoyed it, but I definitely like to be in bed by midnight. Been on a few dates lately so went to the pub twice in a 2wk spell, and I did realise I enjoyed it but maybe it was the company! Last few days have been spent at his house and as we are both mid - late 40’s we prefer an evening on the sofa! I can go out whenever I like now kids grown up, but he’s got young kids so still restricted right now! Haha

Elsiebear90 · 05/01/2023 20:57

I’m 33 and I still enjoy going to bars and the odd night clubbing, I don’t go regularly, but I enjoy it when I do even though clubs don’t seem as good as they did in my 20’s. I stopped wanting to go out all the time in my late twenties, but I had been clubbing almost every week from the age of 17, festivals, raves, warehouse parties, Ibiza etc so kind of did it to death.

GrohlOnAPole · 05/01/2023 20:59

I stopped going out out regularly at 31, when I got together with DH…. we just preferred staying in together. We still go out out occasionally now (mid 40s) but not all that often (finances/kids/work).

AngieBolen · 05/01/2023 21:04

25 - I also felt burnt out at work. I had a baby and loved staying in on a Friday night watching TV. Everyone who knew me thought I must be desperately unhappy as I'd been partying so hard previously, but in fact I was blissfully happy. I could easily afford a baby because I wasn't spending money partying.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 05/01/2023 21:06

Probably about 22-ish.

VioletaDelValle · 05/01/2023 21:50

Including the deluded 60 year old woman who apparently thought she was Shania Twain!!

Bet she had a bloody brilliant night though...

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 05/01/2023 22:07

Ugh I’d hate someone to think I had to behave like a boring twat just because I’m (almost) middle aged. Fuck that. Life is for living. If the judgmental arseholes think middle aged women dancing is “cringe” then perhaps they need to self reflect on what an upright raging bore they are rather than judging others