To regret taking on dog and potentially rehome?

[amberstonelove]

I’ve wanted a dog since my eldest took a huge interest and love for dogs.

I thought it would be lovely for the children. It has been.

I knew I wanted a dog that wasn’t a puppy. I took on a 2 year old dog asked lots and lots of questions etc before taking her on. One of the biggest things for me was bypassing the puppy stage and not having to toilet train etc. The toilet training was a big thing for me. I didn’t want to do it.

The children adore her. My daughter cried when we bought her home. She’s a very sweet loving girl and follows us everywhere.

But I feel the previous owners covered up a lot of things. They didn’t tell us she was in season when we drove miles to get her, they forgot to tell us that she only eats a certain brand of subscription food otherwise she vomits like crazy. The promised and promised she was toilet trained…..

SHE IS NOT.

It’s driving me to despair. I have health anxiety and OCD and this dog I love her and so do the kids but it’s making me ill. My anxiety levels are sky high and i’m vomiting as a result and am in tears every day.
I feel like i’ve ruined our family dynamics even though the kids adore her.
A but I feel like i’m stuck with her now because I can’t bear the thought of breaking my children’s heart they are 3&8.

She is just weeing and pooing everywhere and does not understand going outside for toilets at all. She just stands there. I’ve tried everything.

AIBU to want to rehome her?

I feel so low about all of this. I deeply regret getting her.

This dog wasn’t a rescue, it was a dog someone wanted rid off, not the same thing.
OP probably found it on Gumtree or Prelovec

That’s exactly what I’ve just said. A pp said that people on mumsnet are ‘always that rescue dogs.’ I said that buying an inbred dog online when you hate any mess isn’t what people mean when they suggest rescue.

Honestly I've heard French Bulldogs can be very difficult to toilet train, I assume because they have been breed in such a way their whole physic is messed up.

I think you have two decent choices:
Pay for professional assessment and training
Re-home the dog via a reputable charity.

I'm a bit surprised a person with two young children can't deal with poo and wee, I would have thought you'd be immune by now!

I know, I was agreeing with you 😁

Unfortunately during the lockdowns when the price of puppies sky rocketed, you got idiots breeding dogs left right and centre without any care about genetics or producing healthy animals.

French Bulldogs were and still are the ‘in’ breed which is why you see them everywhere.

But, you will notice that many of them are very small and whilst have a French Bulldog shaped face and head, they’ve bodies are puny and they do not resemble the breed standard.

Unethical breeding produces physical and mental problems, which may contribute to some of the problems the op is having with her dog and will be difficult to overcome, plus that coupled with it being previously homes and may have all kinds of behavioural problems and stress related anxieties.

Oh ok 😂

Worst thing is that at least a proper rescue would have been honest with op. No good rescue would listen to her go on about how she cannot tolerate any mess from a dog and then say ‘ok’ and pass a dog over.

But it’s a bit different when someone is trying to punt the dog on Facebook.

Is she crate trained?
Have you seen the vet? What did they say about the food?
When is the next season due? Will you get her spayed? If not what will you do while she's in season?
When you say you've tried everything, what have you tried?
How long did you try it for? When dogs are being toilet trained you need to be watching them almost all the time. Can you honestly say you've done this with two little kids as well? Persevering is your answer to toilet training. A trainer may help but they're not there all the time

Your trainer will have advised against puppy pads because they literally teach the dog to wee and poo in the house.
Take the dog out religiously every 30 minutes and wait, in the cold, in the rain, in the snow, whatever until she's done a wee and then make the biggest fuss in the world. Rinse and repeat.

Yes that’s exactly what you have to do.

Puppy pads are a stupid gimmick and serve no purpose unless a dog has been injured and has to be immobilised whilst recovering in a pen and then they can be used underneath the dog to soak up urine.

Blimey talk about bombarding with questions

These threads are so upsetting.

Ultimately the one who will suffer will be the dog. OP is extremely stressed - she didn't do her homework regarding dog ownership, trusted a random uncaring seller on the internet, and is now finding herself out of her depth.

She may keep the dog and end up resenting it intensely - which isn't good for the dog (or her), or she may pass it on, so an animal which has already had one recent change of home (and maybe more than one - she only has the seller's word that they have been the dog's first owner) will be passed on again and will become increasingly anxious and even harder to settle into a new home.

OP if you really feel you can't cope, please get in touch with a breed rescue and ask them to take the dog. I know that you have probably paid a very great deal of money for her, and may be tempted to get it back by selling her on, but you have a responsibility to her to do the best you can to ensure that she doesn't get passed from hand-to-hand and home-to-home, or bred into the ground by greedy BYBs.

A rescue can't give you anything for her, but they will spay her, housetrain her, help her get her confidence, and then match her to a suitable home.

You took her on and made her your responsibility - you owe her this opportunity if you aren't able to cope with her yourself.

OP hasn't posted for over 24 hours. I hope she is ok and that the dog is ok.

So do I Merry

I worry myself sick about threads like these.

Harsh maybe but very necessary questions.

And none of mine have been, either.

My current dog is a 7 year old girl we got from a good rescue who were absolutely honest about all she'd endured in her previous existence (puppy machine, physical abuse, neglect, etc) and its impact on her (fear of strangers' hands, fear of most men).

She is fully house-trained and the most loving, adorable dog we've ever had. If visitors do as they're told, she's good with them. But we knew what we were taking on because the rescue told us everything.

The op clearly isn't coming back to this thread so no point in people keep asking questions that have already been asked multiple times.

Thanks @Emotionalsupportviper . I did think maybe it was not a genuine thread, because of the lack of knowledge OP had about rehoming a pet, but thinking about it, there are often things you won't know that you don't know.

I recently offered a new pet a home (she's asleep by my feet right now) and an acquaintance advised me against taking on an adult because of the toilet retraining issues. I'd previously not had issues when adopting an adult.

A quick search on a pets for sale site had what looked like lockdown frenchies on there, some described as suitable for breeding, all with a little sob story, so I can to some extent see why someone might be taken in.

Do your research buyers.

This irks me so much. People should realise what taking on a dog means. She could be perfectly toilet trained but then get an infection or illness or just when she gets old, and that goes out the window. So you’d just get rid? What if your child had an accident at home, do you get rid of them too? People should THINK before they take on a dog.

Of course they should, @Onebelow , but an 8 yr old child wanted a frenchie, and there was a cheap one on sale just before Christmas.

No one would buy a secondhand car in the same way the op bought this poor dog.

It’s sad that less thought goes into purchasing a living, breathing creature than a vehicle.

Exactly FB are lovely dog's I know a few people who have them. But I always feel sorry for them when I see them. With all the health problems they are a cruel breed. Breeding them at all should be banned. The noisy breathing and snoring. They struggle even more on a sunny day that the average dog wouldn't.

My vet usually has to give them a caesarean as the puppies heads are often too big to give birth to them naturally.

The unethical breeding of these dogs to produce a large head and shoulders is very cruel:

The man that created the labradoodles regrets it now. With all these mixing of breeds set off a trend. Though a friend of mine has two miniature one's and have no health issues. She got them because they're non shedding.

The irresponsibility of humans never ceases to infuriate me.

And don’t forget - an OP who throws in her MH issues like some of her out of jail free card 🤷🏻‍♀️