Page 8 | To regret taking on dog and potentially rehome?

1HappyTraveller · 04/01/2023 22:43

You said you have tried everything but I cannot see where you have answered when PPs have asked you about whether or not you have used a qualified dog trainer or sought professional advice from a dog behaviourist?

Emotionalsupportviper · 04/01/2023 22:43

She is still new to you and probably very stressed - this would contribute to her incontinence. It's still very early days, as others have said.

Did you know she wasn't spayed? Have her done asap just in case she ends up pregnant when she comes into her next heat - male fogs can scale pretty high fences when there is a botch on the other side, believe you me.

Emotionalsupportviper · 04/01/2023 22:44

*bitch, not botch

BUGGER! 😠

ThereIbledit · 04/01/2023 22:44

I thought it would be a Frenchie when I read your first post. They are nice but dim, and notoriously difficult to house train.

A change of home could easily put back toilet training. Imagine a toddler who is just getting the hang of it being adopted - new home, stress, new people, it's not surprising.

Get professional help training the dog, and be in it for the long haul. It sounds like you would benefit from some help with your OCD too.

Goldenarsehole · 04/01/2023 22:49

I'm sorry but you come across as very naive. Please work with her instead of giving up. I know it's hard but its not exactly easy for the dog if it gets shunted again.
A rescue dog is never going to be 100% what they say on the tin. No animal is to be fair.
Your expectations are high and you don't know what this pups first 2 years were like- was she allowed to go outside to the toilet?
My DM got a rescue pup recently who turned out had never been on walks. Whippet breed so needs lots of exercise, poor thing spent first year of its life in a flat with no idea what grass felt like. Was given up because she didn't fit with her owners lifestyle as she was too hyperactive..

WestBridgewater · 04/01/2023 22:51

I remember seeing this. Jodie marsh had 4 dogs peeing and pooping everywhere and Victoria Stilwell showed her and her parents what to do. Might be worth watching.

WestBridgewater · 04/01/2023 22:51

Cheeseandlobster · 04/01/2023 22:56

Theluggage15 · 04/01/2023 11:22

So you took on a dog from some random, a breed with known health issues and difficult to toilet train and you say you have OCD and anxiety? What on earth were you thinking? Why did they want to get rid of the dog? Please re home the dog via a charity and don’t get another one. You’re upset and the children are upset, well boo hoo, you don’t seem that bothered about the poor dog.

This. I am so bloody sick of hearing about idiots buying designer dogs with health problems off social media then bleating " But the kids really wanted it. And now it's ill and I didn't sign up for this"

Asking if a dog is toilet trained is not doing your research ffs. You have been thoroughly irresponsible and the poor dog is going to suffer the consequences of it.

talkingmorenonsense · 04/01/2023 23:01

Every time someone mentions getting a dog on Mumsnet, they are advised to get a rescue. This same thing happened to us @amberstonelove. We had to take the dog back to the rescue, we were completely out of our depth.

Kanaloa · 04/01/2023 23:09

talkingmorenonsense · 04/01/2023 23:01

Every time someone mentions getting a dog on Mumsnet, they are advised to get a rescue. This same thing happened to us @amberstonelove. We had to take the dog back to the rescue, we were completely out of our depth.

Nobody on mumsnet would advise you to get an inbred dog from some strangers online when you hate and can’t tolerate any mess. They just wouldn’t. That is not what they mean when posters suggest rescue dogs.

daisymade · 04/01/2023 23:18

YABU but you already know that.
you picked up a bitch so the fact you have an issue with her being in season is just wildly insane. Why the fuck you would get a living pet when you have issues with toileting one is just beyond me.

do the poor thing a favour, hand her to a reputable rescue and never consider getting a live animal again.

jesus, this thread is just proof that humans are arseholes.

Motorcycleemptyness · 04/01/2023 23:21

Knew it would be a French bulldog. You sound like a total irresponsible simpleton OP. Asking if the dog is toilet trained is not doing research and you can’t have tried everything if you’ve only had her for a few weeks. You need to grow up and deal with this massive mess you’ve made like an adult and put your wallet where your mouth is, essentially. Get a trainer. A proper one.

You probably won’t though because you bought a designer dog off the internet in the build up to Christmas without doing any research and seem to find it hard to think past your next instagram post.

Wetblanket78 · 04/01/2023 23:38

Well they wouldn't tell you knowing if they did you wouldn't take her. It's much better to re-home from a rescue. They have to tell you all they're history. But they won't allow them to be rehomed with children under a certain age..Does she have enough walks daily? Have you took her to a vet to rule out a medical issue? Having her neutered will stop her in season issue. Also stop uneutered male dogs harassing her.

RestingMurderousFace · 04/01/2023 23:41

Motorcycleemptyness · 04/01/2023 23:21

Knew it would be a French bulldog. You sound like a total irresponsible simpleton OP. Asking if the dog is toilet trained is not doing research and you can’t have tried everything if you’ve only had her for a few weeks. You need to grow up and deal with this massive mess you’ve made like an adult and put your wallet where your mouth is, essentially. Get a trainer. A proper one.

You probably won’t though because you bought a designer dog off the internet in the build up to Christmas without doing any research and seem to find it hard to think past your next instagram post.

Ouch! Harsh but sadly fair.

BIahBIahBIah · 04/01/2023 23:41

It's ok to get rid of the dog. You're in a toxic relationship. Don't let people guilt you into keeping something that causes you such stress.

Glitterybee · 04/01/2023 23:51

I would assume that if someone is rehoming an adult dog that there’s 99% chance that it’s not properly toilet trained!

how ironic you bypassed a pup and ended up in this situation? My lockdown puppy was toilet trained in 2 days!

Motorcycleemptyness · 05/01/2023 00:03

@RestingMurderousFace really don’t mean to be harsh! But honestly I love animals and taking one on is a serious, life long (their life!) commitment and should absolutely not be entered into lightly. People who believe they can just rehome animals because they have their own needs (including the need to be trained consistently) are beyond stupid and cruel.

thaegumathteth · 05/01/2023 00:07

talkingmorenonsense · 04/01/2023 23:01

Every time someone mentions getting a dog on Mumsnet, they are advised to get a rescue. This same thing happened to us @amberstonelove. We had to take the dog back to the rescue, we were completely out of our depth.

A/ this isn't a rescue dog
B/ rehoming should always always always be an absolute last resort . Actually I don't think it's forgives me unless there's a risk of the dog seriously harming someone.
C/ we got a rescue dog, 3 year old. He died this year at 13 and NEVER did I consider rehoming him despite LOTS of problems.
D/ if you go into dog ownership thinking rehoming is an option you don't deserve a dog or any pet

PlinkPlonkFizz · 05/01/2023 00:18

OCD is a lifelong conditions that needs lifelong medication. OP I think it is very stressful for you at the moment so you probably should get help for your OCD.

The dog will likely improve with training but there's always something unpredictable with dogs! They're not easy.

It sounds like the initial puppy blues (been there, done that) but maybe reassess the OCD, get some good support for it, accept this is a tough adjustment that's common with new dog owners, but that with a bit of effort things might improve?

Some posters have been truly nasty to you. I suffer from anxiety and OCD and know how it can put your mind in a tailspin but start with treating your OCD. Sending you good wishes.

Couchpotato3 · 05/01/2023 00:20

You've had a lot of good advice about confining the dog to a manageable area of the house, being consistent, getting a vet check and professional help etc.
Getting upset and anxious around the dog is going to make everything worse because the dog will pick up on your distress - you really need to try to stay calm around her, even if you are stressing out inside.
Sorry you are going through this - we had a very difficult rescue dog of a similar age, but even the first session with a pro trainer made a massive difference.

oakleaffy · 05/01/2023 00:26

talkingmorenonsense · 04/01/2023 23:01

Every time someone mentions getting a dog on Mumsnet, they are advised to get a rescue. This same thing happened to us @amberstonelove. We had to take the dog back to the rescue, we were completely out of our depth.

British rescues, the main , reputable ones are extremely strict with their criteria- and match the dog to humans, One can’t just wander in and say “
I want that one”
A good rescue centre has backup.
However- The overseas “Rescues” are far less fussy- and will let anyone take a dog, and often lie about it’s behaviour.
In lockdown, there were masses of Romanian dogs about- quite dog aggressive and far from suitable for inexperienced people.
These have largely disappeared now

Someone else noticed the Romanian ones have all but gone in her area, too.

In lockdown one couldn’t move for imports.

NYE2023 · 05/01/2023 00:50

If you can afford it I would definitely get a dog trainer in . I have done this twice in my life of dog owning - and both times the issue was resolved in just one session . One puppy used to constantly nip me for attention with those sharp puppy teeth and it seriously got me down . After one one hour session with the trainer he was 70% better in a day or so , and after a week or so he had stopped doing it altogether & we became the best of friends and still are and he has made a massive contribution to family life . A local vet should be able to recommend someone . Good luck with whatever the next steps you take are.

Prettydress · 05/01/2023 00:52

amberstonelove · 04/01/2023 10:26

I’ve wanted a dog since my eldest took a huge interest and love for dogs.

I thought it would be lovely for the children. It has been.

I knew I wanted a dog that wasn’t a puppy. I took on a 2 year old dog asked lots and lots of questions etc before taking her on. One of the biggest things for me was bypassing the puppy stage and not having to toilet train etc. The toilet training was a big thing for me. I didn’t want to do it.

The children adore her. My daughter cried when we bought her home. She’s a very sweet loving girl and follows us everywhere.

But I feel the previous owners covered up a lot of things. They didn’t tell us she was in season when we drove miles to get her, they forgot to tell us that she only eats a certain brand of subscription food otherwise she vomits like crazy. The promised and promised she was toilet trained…..

SHE IS NOT.

It’s driving me to despair. I have health anxiety and OCD and this dog I love her and so do the kids but it’s making me ill. My anxiety levels are sky high and i’m vomiting as a result and am in tears every day.
I feel like i’ve ruined our family dynamics even though the kids adore her.
A but I feel like i’m stuck with her now because I can’t bear the thought of breaking my children’s heart they are 3&8.

She is just weeing and pooing everywhere and does not understand going outside for toilets at all. She just stands there. I’ve tried everything.

AIBU to want to rehome her?

I feel so low about all of this. I deeply regret getting her.

I don't mean this nastily, but the issue doesn't sound like it's the dog - rather it's that you underestimated how much looking after a dog would impact on your OCD and you clearly didn't do enough research or ask the right questions when you got her.

Even after they are house trained they are filthy creatures. You have to deal with poo on a daily basis whether it's picking it up from the garden, on walks or from the kitchen floor. They pick up gawd knows what in their mouths on walks, they roll around in God knows what, and they will lick your face with happy abandon.

And the same goes for her being in season - you will have to deal with that too unless you get her done.

I don't get the whole changing the family dynamics comment - a dog is like another member of the family so yes of course they will change the dynamics. You say she's a sweet lovely girl so surely she's changed the dynamics for the better.

These sound like excuses to get rid of her. You could totally have made a terrible mistake ( because of your OCD) or you could be experiencing the puppy blues which is a real thing.

You need to either decide to persevere or re-home because you will absolutely break your children's hearts if you end up getting rid in 6 months time. If you get rid now, they will just be sad.

Let her have the life she deserves either with yourselves or another family that will love her.

But having a dog is like having a child. It's an absolute lottery and it's in sickness and in health. If you can't cope with that - re-home.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 05/01/2023 00:53

RambamThankyouMam · 04/01/2023 11:02

Rehome.

Dogs are more trouble than they're worth.

@RambamThankyouMam I am an OAP now, and I have never known a dog that was more trouble than it is worth.

Unfortunately, I have known, or heard of, far too many humans that fit that sentiment completely - sadly it seems that you may be one of the humans that do so.

NYE2023 · 05/01/2023 00:56

And just to add PP who mention the dog picking up on your anxiety is really a thing and the trainer taught us how to deal with it. Our breed is known as a master manipulator and knowing how to manage that with the right tone and commands is really helpful . With toilet training our breeder told us not to use puppy pads- I can’t remember why and they obviously work for some . She suggested closing off an area of say kitchen and cover with newspaper so puppy learns to go on that . Over time reduce the area of newspaper until it is a few sheets just by back door . Good luck it does sound very hard