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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Horrible nasty friend

129 replies

friendorfoe22 · 02/01/2023 14:49

Names changed for this one.

I have a friend who is constantly and I mean CONSTANTLY rude about my life choices. It all started when I moved out with OH. Said the area I live in is boring, frequently mentions that she would buy a new build as they are badly built, my decor choice is horrible and just endless endless digs. She's a very bitter and jealous person, never praises or encourages anyone always puts people down. Constantly talks about herself, how she wants to travel the world, how much she gets paid at work and how her job is better than anyone. Also the other day, we went for a drink and all of a sudden she said any man whose name starts with D is toxic. Then she said her ex's name (Daniel) so it went 'all men who start with D are always so toxic even my ex Daniel, Doug, and the name David is the worst (David is my OH's name!) and I sat there and was like are you fucking joking? She clearly knew what she was doing and I said to her what's your problem and she said what? Everyone with those names are toxic and I was just disgusted. This is just a very small part of what she is like on a daily basis. How do I tell her to go fuck herself?

OP posts:
Americano75 · 02/01/2023 14:50

'Go fuck yourself, you toxic fuck'.

Emmamoo89 · 02/01/2023 14:51

Just tell her to go fuck herself. She's definitely no friend

Emmamoo89 · 02/01/2023 14:52

*yourself

Tilllly · 02/01/2023 14:52

She sounds hard work

Is there anything stopping you cutting her off?

RoseslnTheHospital · 02/01/2023 14:52

She's not a friend. Just tell her that she's being ridiculous and that you're rethinking your friendship with her. Then don't agree to meet up with her any more!

BMW6 · 02/01/2023 14:53

"Get to Fuck you toxic bitch" ought to do it.

PinkFrogss · 02/01/2023 14:53

Just ghost her

PollyAmour · 02/01/2023 14:53

Why are you even friends with a joy sucker like this? Kick her to the kerb and find yourself some new friends.

Neolara · 02/01/2023 14:53

Just stop hanging out with her.

Topseyt123 · 02/01/2023 14:54

You do just that - tell her to go fuck herself. Then stop bothering to meet up with her or have any contact.

I really don't see why you are calling her a friend when she is so unpleasant. She is not a friend and would be no sad loss.

FromTheFront2theBack · 02/01/2023 14:54

She's a very bitter and jealous person, never praises or encourages anyone always puts people down. Constantly talks about herself, how she wants to travel the world, how much she gets paid at work and how her job is better than anyone.

You clearly hate her (and if what you've posted is an accurate portrayal then with good reason) but why have you remained friends with her and why are you spending so much time thinking about how to dump her? Just be the adult and tell her that the friendship no longer makes you happy and you wish her well for the future but don't want any further contact. Then block. Don't get petty and spiteful (even if she deserves it). It won't do you any good and she certainly won't reflect on her behaviour.

MTNT · 02/01/2023 14:54

You could ghost her? That would probably wind her up more than an aggressive message (however justified that is) as it sounds like she is constantly trying to goad you.

Ultravox · 02/01/2023 14:55

Utterly baffled why you would still hang about with someone like this. She’s no friend. Just cut her off.

EmmaDilemma5 · 02/01/2023 14:55

"I find your nastiness hard to put up with and your chat is boring. Sorry, but I don't want to hang out anymore."

BMW6 · 02/01/2023 14:56

The question is, why on earth have you been her friend up to now if this dreadful behaviour is nothing new?

Haven't you pulled her up on it before now? If she said awful things about others didn't you shut her down?

LetsDoThis2023 · 02/01/2023 14:57

Why do you need to be nasty too? Are you 15?
Just don't spend any time with her.

PrincessNakatomi · 02/01/2023 15:02

How do I tell her to go fuck herself?

Go fuck yourself, you batshit cunting dick.

Munches · 02/01/2023 15:04

Oh for goodness sake OP. Get rid.

Distance yourself. This is no friend.

You'll learn how many fake friends / people there are in the world the older and more mature you get. This is why they call it wisdom.

MrsSprouse · 02/01/2023 15:06

Have you brought up her comments before? If you haven't then do it, otherwise just stop hanging out with her. Either way keep her at arm's length until you are comfortable just cutting her off.

Abigail69 · 02/01/2023 15:08

OP
I'm guessing you want to stay friends with this nasty parasite, hence your post.
At work, not friends as per-say but work mates I had a toxic mate negative all of the time, slagging everyone off inc me at times. The last straw when she accused me of not supporting her when she was wrong. I just ignore her and she got the message

no need to swear, use disgusting language etc etc as just saying "Thanks but I don't want anything to do with you so please leave me alone and if you try to talk to me I will have to blank you, bye.."

StrawberryWater · 02/01/2023 15:08

You don’t need to say anything. Block her.

I don’t understand why people continue with relationships/ friendships like these.

Thesearmsofmine · 02/01/2023 15:08

Hi Jane, I’ve decided that all people with the initial J are toxic and I don’t need those kinds of people in my life.

JoyPeaceSleep · 02/01/2023 15:09

Just stop responding. You both dislike each other but you are both still meeting up. (She sounds awful though, not arguing with you there).

SomeChickensAreJustTooBig · 02/01/2023 15:09

You respond to the next invitation by saying “I don’t want to go/meet up with you, I don’t really like you very much and I don’t enjoy your company.”

midsomermurderess · 02/01/2023 15:10

How is she a friend? That behaviour is not friendship.

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