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Original poster

Horrible nasty friend

129 replies

friendorfoe22 · 02/01/2023 14:49

Names changed for this one.

I have a friend who is constantly and I mean CONSTANTLY rude about my life choices. It all started when I moved out with OH. Said the area I live in is boring, frequently mentions that she would buy a new build as they are badly built, my decor choice is horrible and just endless endless digs. She's a very bitter and jealous person, never praises or encourages anyone always puts people down. Constantly talks about herself, how she wants to travel the world, how much she gets paid at work and how her job is better than anyone. Also the other day, we went for a drink and all of a sudden she said any man whose name starts with D is toxic. Then she said her ex's name (Daniel) so it went 'all men who start with D are always so toxic even my ex Daniel, Doug, and the name David is the worst (David is my OH's name!) and I sat there and was like are you fucking joking? She clearly knew what she was doing and I said to her what's your problem and she said what? Everyone with those names are toxic and I was just disgusted. This is just a very small part of what she is like on a daily basis. How do I tell her to go fuck herself?

OP posts:
Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 02/01/2023 15:10

Don’t tell her. Just stop meeting up with. Then if she asks just ignore her or tell her specially what the issues is (depending on what you want to do).

HelpMeGetThrough · 02/01/2023 15:12

You could always say

"people with a first name starting with the letter (letter of her first name) should go fuck themselves".

Alternatively, don't sink to her level and just don't communicate with her anymore.

Jedsnewstar · 02/01/2023 15:12

EmmaDilemma5 · 02/01/2023 14:55

"I find your nastiness hard to put up with and your chat is boring. Sorry, but I don't want to hang out anymore."

This.

Please don’t ghost her, it is gutless.

Clarich007 · 02/01/2023 15:13

With "friends" like this, who needs enemies.
You know what you have to do, get rid asap.

Cherrysoup · 02/01/2023 15:14

Why do you spend time with someone like this?!

JamieNorthlife · 02/01/2023 15:14

Can you leave her back in 2022?

ThinWomansBrain · 02/01/2023 15:15

why would anyone consider someone they'd describe as "horrible and nasty" as a friend, or even spend time with them unless in an enforced situation - like a colleague?

GettingStuffed · 02/01/2023 15:20

Why are you friends?

iliketartan · 02/01/2023 15:21

I had two friends like this. I ghosted both , the first I never see because we moved away from the area and the second I manage to avoid by not frequenting where they prefer to hang out (no loss to me because it's a place I don't like anyway).
Life's too short to tolerate toxic arseholes.

Deathraystare · 02/01/2023 15:23

Sounds familiar... I have a friend like that. When you draw her up on her behaviour you get "Don't be so rude" or "It is just my way".

iliketartan · 02/01/2023 15:25

Ah yes the " I'm honest and say it as I see it" mantra. Nope love you're just a rude fucker!

Kevinyoutwat · 02/01/2023 15:25

That’s no friend.
Life is too short to hang out with someone who gets their kicks from being a nasty fucker.

Bluetrews25 · 02/01/2023 15:26

Michelle Obama (a very wise woman) famously said 'when they go low, we go high'
Try not to drop to her level.
'I'm leaving this friendship now as you seem to dislike me' or something.

tinseltoes1982 · 02/01/2023 15:26

What @Americano75 said! Some people have horrible 'friends' I don't get it. Move on and surround yourself with good people

Greatly · 02/01/2023 15:27

You clearly don't get on at all. Why on earth are you wasting both your time?

butterfliedtwo · 02/01/2023 15:29

Why do so many women hang out with people they obviously hate and call them friends? It's baffling.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 02/01/2023 15:30

Ditch her. I used to have someone like this in my life, they’ll never change.

Againstmachine · 02/01/2023 15:34

I'd tell her that, The letter D isnt the common demonmiter but she is and the fuck off.

itsgettingweird · 02/01/2023 15:35

PatientlyWaiting21 · 02/01/2023 15:30

Ditch her. I used to have someone like this in my life, they’ll never change.

This. And same here.

I just stopped initiating texts.

Any texts she sent I'd reply to with short sharp answers.

So "how are you" "good thanks"

I stopped asking about her in return because she only ever text me to ask how I was when she has news to tell me when I asked "and you?"

I was always busy when she wanted to meet up but would suggest sometime in the distant future I knew she wouldn't commit to and I'd tell her to text nearer the time to confirm.

So basically I didn't give her what she wanted from the relationship knowing she'd move on and she couldn't tell me things like I was being too sensitive etc for pulling her up on the behaviour.

It's liberating Grin

CovertImage · 02/01/2023 15:35

Please don’t ghost her, it is gutless.

Agree. You hate her so tell her why then leave the "friendship"

Slimjimtobe · 02/01/2023 15:35

Love that from Michelle Obama ! That’s a perfect response there.

catandcoffee · 02/01/2023 15:36

If this is actually true why on earth would you be friends with her ?
You claim she's always been like this, so I'm confused why you're moaning now.

xsquared · 02/01/2023 15:37

Stop meeting up with her, Stop all communication with her.

Tell her that after what happened the last time you met up, you spent a bit of time reflecting on your friendship and you've decided that you no longer enjoy her company and that you two clearly don't get on.

Don't let her back into your life. People like her drain your energy. A friend should be building you up, not tearing you down.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 02/01/2023 15:37

Just don't bother with her anymore. She sounds a frenemy. Either block or ghost. Job done.

Calphurnia88 · 02/01/2023 15:39

Stop spending time with her.

Don't ask her to meet you, be unavailable if she asks you to meet her.

You don't owe her anything.

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