Generic MN teenagers

[WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles]

As a follow up to the brilliant "Generic DHs thread started by @TheShellBeach I thought we should have a "Generic MN teenage DC thread (apologies if someone was quicker off the mark and has already started this!)

The generic MN (male) teenager has “hollow legs” and eats a whole loaf of bread and drinks three pints of milk a day but is slightly underweight compared to his peers. He complles with the family rule of leaving mobile phones on the landing overnight without complaint. He has a big gaming chair and his favourite Christmas present this year was colour changing LED lights for his room. He doesn’t need any pocket money as he has a Saturday job so his parents just pay for his phone contract and essential clothing. He saves up himself and buys the expensive stuff he wants like Nike T shirts. He actually gets on with his siblings. Unlike other boys of his age he has zero interest in cannabis and drinks the odd can of fruit cider at a party.

Unlike the RL teenager who accidentally leaves a pack of Rizlas on his gaming desk (next to the LED lights which stopped working after an hour last Christmas but he still hasn’t taken them down) He doesn’t save for expensive stuff like Nike T shirts as he just spends all his money on stupid shit like 8 million Greggs sausage rolls and seventeen bottles of lucozade in one week. He fights with his siblings and you frequently hear him say “fuck off” to them when he doesn’t know you’re in the vicinty . He never answers his texts when you text him to ask if he will be in for dinner as “had no battery” despite you buying him a fucking power bank last week. As he arrives home after dinner he just cooks eleven chicken nuggets (nothing else) in the air fryer. He takes them up to his room and leaves the plate there for days next to the five half empty lucozade bottles.

The MN also studies hard and consistently for at least 2 hours every night, including optional additional work beyond homework set by school. They start revision for exams at least 2 months in advance and follow an exam timetable to the letter.

Any resemblances to the RL teenager who scrapes through with the bare minimum they can get away with, and doesn't start working in earnest until after GCSE mocks after getting appalling results, is purely coincidental :)

I assume the 11 chicken nuggets was just a minor snack and not actual dinner?
Actual dinner would be a pack of 50 sausage rolls which are only partially cooked as it's too "long" to have to wait for them to cook properly.

I think you'll find it's only 49 rolls if you count properly @redskydelight as the rule is only one has to be left in the packet (which isn't sealed properly and just thrown back in the fridge/freezer). This is so that siblings can discover said packet and shout "who the fuck just left one sausage roll" at a volume of about 150 decibels. This is followed by parent saying "language!" and the response "shit, sorry mum I didn't know you were there".

The MN teenage boy is always "sporty". He usually plays rugby or football but will also swim for his county. The house is often filled with his "mates" (rarely described as "friends"), who spread their time between going out for bike rides and helping little old ladies across the street.

I would expand on female teenage DC but I'm too busy looking for my black tights which have mysteriously disappeared from my drawer. I'm also recovering from seeing a spider on the bathroom floor that turned out to be a false eyelash.

Brilliant! ;-)

Always remembers his mum's birthday and gets thoughtful, meaningful presents.

RL: panicked look when he sees cards, nips to the shop & grabs a random box of chocolates or a toblerone.

They go to super selective grammars (unless they go to highly sought after academic indies).

The MN teen DD is a tall, sporty physiqued and golden girl. Quiet and sweet , beloved by her close knit group of friends, she excels at STEM subjects. She (worryingly) can err on the side if getting a little too bogged down by her studies, but thankfully has a natural love of running (for the county) and Pokémon Go! She lives in oversized hoodies and sports leggings, and loves her Dr Martens. HATES make up and thinks heels are 'ridiculous'

She most certainly never goes OTT with brow powder, and her bedsheets don't look like a giant skidmark where she's fake tanned in prep for Olivia's party. She doesn't have a room that would make Stig of the Dump baulk, and you never have to step over discarded knickers, gusset upwards to retrieve used glasses and plates, all festooned with used cotton wool pads.

Pahaha this is brilliant, describes my two to a tee!

Glad I’m not the only one stepping over dirty knickers to retrieve the hoard of glasses in her bedroom 🤣

The MN teen also earnestly claims that their mum is better than all other mum’s and their mates all like to hang out at their home due to how cool the MN mum is.

My DD not yours of course 🤣 @TrentCrimm

😂🤣

They are all allowing their parents to ponder whether to apply to Oxford or Cambridge, or Medical school for some.

In RL they are wondering whether Manchester or Nottingham gham has the best party scene.

The Leaving of the Knickers is a deliberate tactic so they can all be washed in one massive wash. With my black tights which all have one leg inside out. Also a months worth of giant hoodies and tiny pyjama shorts. These overflow the drying airer and take up all the radiator space, but its OK because they do their own washing don't they?! God. If they didn't do it today they wouldn't have their giant hoodie for Emily's party on Saturday.

They've also used the correct amount of laundry liquid - the total amount that's left in the bottle, naturally.

I have one generic MN teen who doesn’t go out much, keeps her room tidy and helps me out.

I also have a RL teen who dresses like a colourful vagrant, blocks up the sink cutting layers into her hair (then denies it), has a mouldy pot noodle or 12 in her room, hasn’t opened the blinds for 18 months, acts offended when you say ‘hello’ to her. She also never eats any proper dinner as she lives off food and fizzy drinks out of the shop she works in. She hasn’t changed her bedsheets since November.

Of course the MN teenager just does their own washing except the bedding and the system works really well. Perhaps the family have a rota for the bedding too.

Ah, you've met my daughter then.

My generic MN teen does her own washing

the other one I have intervened and said it was becoming a fire hazard from the smell

Do RL teens jeep their dirty socks down the sides of their beds then moan about no clean socks or is that habit just preteens?

We have the "broken ankle" variant of RL teen at the moment. Basically shrieking at everyone to wait on her hand and foot, even though she's been told to partially weight bear where possible. Dreading getting her to school on Thursday

the MN teen would politely cause no trouble and just prettily limp round the house, NOT using her crutches to poke her siblings when I'm not watching.

I have the MN teen boy! Sadly I can't preen too much as I also have the RL almost teen girl.

The worst thing about schools closing for covid on 20/21 for mythical teenagers was the cancellation of exams, because they were really looking forward to them.

Real teenagers were delighted

The generic MN (male) teenager has “hollow legs” and eats a whole loaf of bread and drinks three pints of milk a day but is slightly underweight compared to his peers.

Minor correction required here @WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles the MN male teenager does not 'eat' he inhales or hoovers food, any and all food but remains skinny, loves the 'huge' MN salad and any and all veggies (aaargh). Is always active or sporty and indeed academic, Oxbridge material or failing that a red brick university. No spending hours in his dark cave of a room that requires a health hazard warning on the door gaming or doing anything else online with his equally online obsessed mates, oh no. Plus this MN generic teenager has been able to do all his own washing since the age of 5, keeps his room spotless, does other housework (again has been able to do so since the age of 5) and can knock up a cordon bleu 3 course dinner, plus clear up and wash up afterwards.

Mine does her own washing - then leaves it in the machine for a week days. It eventually makes it to the dryer, and is then retrieved all crumpled up a day later. Shrieks of outrage echo throughout the house if anyone dares to speed up the laundry process by a day or two.

The MN teen does all of their own washing - and anything left lurking in the family laundry basket.

MN teen also has their own ensuite bathroom, which is always immaculate.

RL teen hammers the bathroom door down because her sibliings are taking too long in there and she needs to retrieve one of the 101 lotions and potions currently resting on the side of the bath.