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Original poster

Would you find this odd to say to a 6yo?

157 replies

Goldsnow · 02/01/2023 02:36

A 6 year old female child in her house with her family (twin brother, mum and dad). The daughter is playing wearing her pants (joggers) with no vest or top on. The father then tells her to put a top on as she should not be running around like that. The house was warm so it wasn't that. It was because she is female that is the reason he was telling her she shouldn't do that and to put a top or vest on.

Would you find this strange for a man/father to say to a 6 year old or not? I would have thought a little child of that age is fine in her own home without wearing a top and I wouldn't have given it a second thought. But maybe that is just me.

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 02/01/2023 02:41

What are you looking for here?
Yes, of course the child ‘should’ have been able to run around without her top on, but different families have different ideas about wearing clothes ( or not ) in the house.
What do you think it implies?

upfucked · 02/01/2023 02:42

Would he say the same to his son? Different families have different norms around being naked.

SugarplumFairyyy · 02/01/2023 02:43

Maybe it's more of the fact that he just wanted her to wear clothes during the day in general?
Were there other guests there?
I need more context there
..

Original poster
Goldsnow · 02/01/2023 02:44

No he has never said it to son. I just felt a little awkward and my daughter didn't see what the problem was and she looked shocked.

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 02/01/2023 02:45

I mean did he say it aggressively? Did both kids have their tops off and is that why your kid felt awkward as it was including her ?

Original poster
Goldsnow · 02/01/2023 02:45

@Goldsnow no other guests. Just the 4 of us. It was evening so it wasnt that either. It was definitely because she is female.

OP posts:
PandasAreBlackAndWhite · 02/01/2023 02:47

Well it's not appropriate in many other settings is it? If it made the father uncomfortable he has the right to say so. I wouldn't let my DD be semi naked even at home, sudden visitors would embarrass her.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 02/01/2023 02:49

@SugarplumFairyyy he shouted her name and said you shouldn't be running around like that put a top on. I can't remember if son had one on at the time or not buy he plays without wearing a top sometimes too and nothing has been said to him. I just thought it was ridiculous and slightly strange.

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldsnow · 02/01/2023 02:51

Well it's not appropriate in many other settings is it

She knows that and she would never do it in public neither would my son but I thought at home would be fine. It was evening so was not expecting any visitors.

OP posts:
OldFan · 02/01/2023 02:53

I used to run around topless or naked a lot as a child, but I think we should teach children what's socially appropriate. I could've done with more of that.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 02/01/2023 02:53

And she wasn't naked she just wasn't wearing a top. She must have took it off when she was playing to cool down.

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 02/01/2023 02:55

I mean I don't think it's so strange that it would require an action about it. Obviously you are entitled to feel it is a bit odd. Do you see this person regularly? And if so; are they otherwise OK.
I think you would have to look at the bigger picture of how this person normally is with their kid etc.

OldFan · 02/01/2023 02:55

@Goldsnow Women's top halves are sexualised whereas men's aren't. So girls need to learn it's appropriate to cover that area.

supersonicginandtonic · 02/01/2023 02:56

It's probably the way he was brought up and he said it without thinking about it. A passing comment.
You finding it strange and thinking there's more to it than that is more concerning I think. You're looking for a problem. Why not just ask your husband why he said it?

SugarplumFairyyy · 02/01/2023 02:58

OldFan · 02/01/2023 02:55

@Goldsnow Women's top halves are sexualised whereas men's aren't. So girls need to learn it's appropriate to cover that area.

I think probably at the age of 6 it's still quite innocent for a girl not to worry about covering up for that reason. Having said that, maybe it's more with the guests being in the house. I can see both sides there but it's not crazy that the dad would ask her to cover up.
I mean if he screamed at her and acted like she was insane for having no top on then thats OTT.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 02/01/2023 03:01

Yes women's top halves are sexualised not little children's in their own home. I think that is why I found it strange. She knows it is not socially acceptable in public.

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldsnow · 02/01/2023 03:03

@SugarplumFairyyy no guests at the house. Yes I thought it was innocent at that age too with just immediate family present.

OP posts:
saturnisturning · 02/01/2023 03:10

I wouldn’t expect a 6yo girl to have to cover up top in their own house

pelargoniums · 02/01/2023 03:11

OldFan · 02/01/2023 02:55

@Goldsnow Women's top halves are sexualised whereas men's aren't. So girls need to learn it's appropriate to cover that area.

She’s six and at home with her family, it’s perfectly appropriate to run around with no top on. And also appropriate at the beach or pool or splash park, or anywhere a six-year-old boy would also be topless. She’s six: no one should be sexualising her top half.

LBFseBrom · 02/01/2023 04:02

I agree with Pelargoniums. A 6 year old is still a very little child and it's quite normal for them to go topless when playing, especially in their own home, nothing inappropriate about it at all. Your daughter will now be wondering why she was told to cover up and feel self conscious/embarrassed. She has lost something though would not be able to articulate it.

Yes it was said because she is a girl and in your place I would speak to the man about it, trying to impress upon him that children are innocen and girls of six are flat chested anyway.

Would he want her to wear a bikini top on the beach? You do see little girls in bikinis, the top half covering up nothing except chest but it does draw attention to their immature upper bodies. However most just wear bikini bottoms which is quite right.

Nightlystroll · 02/01/2023 04:07

I think the father has as much right to say what they think is appropriate as the mother does.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 02/01/2023 04:43

Nightlystroll · 02/01/2023 04:07

I think the father has as much right to say what they think is appropriate as the mother does.

And he is teaching her modesty. A 6-year-old girl is not sexual, but the men on the beach where she runs around topless are NOT thinking about her innocence.
A 6-year-old boy's penis isn't sexual either, but no one questions having them wear pants.

Aubree17 · 02/01/2023 05:11

He's absolutely right.
Where now it's harmless, it's setting the right standard of behaviour for the future.

Morph22010 · 02/01/2023 05:17

If the house is that warm you could prob get away with turning the heating down a degree or two

MarshaMelrose · 02/01/2023 05:45

Morph22010 · 02/01/2023 05:17

If the house is that warm you could prob get away with turning the heating down a degree or two

😂😂😂😂 Oh, the waste!

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