Would you find this odd to say to a 6yo?

[Goldsnow]

A 6 year old female child in her house with her family (twin brother, mum and dad). The daughter is playing wearing her pants (joggers) with no vest or top on. The father then tells her to put a top on as she should not be running around like that. The house was warm so it wasn't that. It was because she is female that is the reason he was telling her she shouldn't do that and to put a top or vest on.

Would you find this strange for a man/father to say to a 6 year old or not? I would have thought a little child of that age is fine in her own home without wearing a top and I wouldn't have given it a second thought. But maybe that is just me.

Pervs will be loving it. 🤮🤮 Needs deleting.

Why didn't you say anything? I would have asked him about his double standards.

But thats not the point, is it? The point here is someone who thinks its ok for a boy to have no top on, but not a girl. When they look identical.

What are people not getting here?

The onset of puberty usually means that children naturally become more 'shy' about their bodies- I'd say most people don't need to ask their daughters to cover up.

My daughter for example, stripped butt naked as we queued in an airport. She was four. Now, as a young adult she keeps her clothes on whilst waiting for passport control checks.

Bizarre to say the least.

I hope you're not labelling me a weirdo. This is a chat forum and the question invited different perspectives.

I speak to many people due to the nature of my job. A few men I know either have been faslely accused, even just jokingly, but it sticks with those who take it too far, of being perverted in some way concerning young women and young girls, or they know someone this has happened to. They are now paranoid.

OP sorry if I misread, I thought it was your brother, but the thought still stands.

I think it is fine outside as well. But many people do not. I think the British are still generally very prudish.

Ah yes, those poor menz 🙄

Thinking that is straight outta incel/MRA.

he shouted her name and said you shouldn't be running around like that put a top on. I can't remember if son had one on at the time or not buy he plays without wearing a top sometimes too and nothing has been said to him. I just thought it was ridiculous and slightly strange.

Personally, I think half naked children playing at home are never acceptable regardless of sex. Not even babies- I hate seeing babies in just nappies it just smacks of neglect and laziness.

Put a shirt on them. They’re not beggar children with nothing to wear. That said, I know I am strict & in the minority by preferring to have even babies fully dress. But every parent I know has a limit for the half naked phase, and most seem end it at when they start primary school, as in Reception/Early Years (age 4), so I think you are also in a minority by allowing 6yr olds to play half naked.

Perhaps you should chat with your DH and come up with an agreement on this.

Yep.

Okay then... 🤔

yabu for having the house so hot
would you spend the evening with no top on?

I don't think it's about being prudish, more about protecting our children

There are a disgustingly high amount of pedophiles who would enjoy seeing semi/fully naked children in public.

They've estimated there's probably around 800,000 in the UK. Imagine how many of those would be sitting on the beach just watching 🤢

Call me bonkers, but trying to comprehend how an incel would manage to even father a child? 😂

And honestly the point is valid, telling a 6yr old to get fully dressed doesn’t automatically mean they’ve been sexualised FFS.

I’d probably tell my children (boys) to put a top on. I don’t walk around the house topless. Neither does my husband.

What has that got to do with this issue, at all?

At 6 I don't think he should be treating her any different than her brother. The fact that his mind even went there is weird to me. The amount of people agreeing with him in this thread is just grim. She's 6. There's nothing sexual or inappropriate about her body.

This is your house and your husband/partner and (both of) your children? Neither of you should be making a rule/demand for the children that (1) shocks the other parent or (2) confuses the other parent so much s/he has to ask about it on line.

I'd raise the issue with him, not in front of the children, and talk it through. If playing shirtless is something the children have done in the past, then demanding that one of them NOT do it is going to need an explanation, or at least a united front from the parents. If he has a good reason why shirts should be worn (and personally I think it's probably a good idea, but not life and death if someone's without one for a short time), it should be the same rule for both children.

Definitely, your daughter should not be told her behaviour is being restricted arbitrarily/unnecessarily because she's a girl AND she should not be treated as if she's done something wrong or should have known better, when shirtless play has been the norm/gone unremarked in the house before.

In December I tell both my kids (1 boy/ 1 girl) to put/keep cloths on because so I don't have to have the heating on high. In summer both have sat round in just their pants on very hot days, though I do try to encourage vests for both.

It’s not a fact his mind went there though. The OP has presumed it is because she’s a girl and then assumed it has to do with sexual reasons. The OPs mind has definitely gone there, and she’s projecting it on this thread.

I think these kind of things often come from how you were raised. I wouldn't look too much into it.

ITs idiotic to pretend she has just made it up though. Do englighten is what other possible reasons he could have for being fine with a topless boy but not a topless girl?

I wouldn't have let either of my dc run around topless if we had visitors tbh, I wouldn't let them slob round in pj's either. It's rude.

I wouldn’t find it odd - but we all get dressed each morning, and they wouldn’t be playing wearing pyjamas either 🤷‍♀️

OP has no idea what the reason was.

I did actually say that directly underneath my original post, so yes I do agree actually.