Vanilla sex life

[julesob81]

I've been with my now wife for 13 years, married for 8. I love her and we have a young child.

I used to love our love life and feel we used to be more adventurous in bed, varying the experience on most occasions. Over the last few years I feel that anything to do with sex has become a chore for her. We've spoken about it and I've said I would like to try different things and ask her what she wants (I never get an answer!!!) she always says yes she'll try what I want (and no it's nothing dodgy!) but it never happens and we end up having predictable vanilla sex whenever we're lucky enough to have it.

AIBU in wanting something more in the experience and also AIBU in just feeling that she's not that into me anymore but just hanging in there for our child, who we both adore and want the best for?

*here

You suggested you would like to try toys, she said ok. Why didn't you go out and purchase said toys?

If dh suggested toys and I said ok I would expect him to get them, get batteries if required, if necessary have a read up on how to use them "effectively" and then bring them into the bedroom one evening with the plan to surprise and pleasure me. And that would be very willingly reciprocated either that night or at another time.

If he mentioned jazzing up our sex life over and over and then did adsolutely nothing about it I would assume he wasnt that interested, too lazy and expected me to do all the work which would be a complete turn off.

@julesob81 so you asked for help. We gave you loads of advice and your response is... so it's never about a man's enjoyment.

From all the men I know it's a turn on to see their partner enjoying themselves. So if you want to have a good sex life I suggest that yes the woman's enjoyment is a huge factor! Otherwise you will be getting nothing! If she doesn't like xy or z then you miss out. And vice versa.

For sex to work a woman really needs to be relaxed enough for it to work! It's basic biology. You wanted us to basically agree with you so you can tell her that mumsnet agrees that your sex life is boring.

@Survey99 agree with this also.

@julesob81 either do something about it when she seems in the mood or not tired or just accept this is how things are for a while. If you aren't happy. Its your job to sort it. Nothing another thing for her

Men really are lazy in their thinking

No OP it isn't, for centuries it's in fact been about the men

That is really it. I am focused on my orgasm and not that interested in my DH's because ultimately I'm collecting reparations for my sisters from down the ages. It is our time to come.