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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be raging angry?

343 replies

IzItMe · 01/01/2023 09:24

Can you please tell me if I am being unreasonable?

My partner has auto immune disease and has been very unwell for some time. I've been extremely supportive of him.

I moved in with him in August, into his 1 bedroom flat after DS went to university. We'd agreed for years the plan was to get a place together, and I couldn't afford to keep my flat and cover DS's university costs which was made much worse by me losing 80% of my income in the pandemic (I was one of the excluded).

When the time came to move in together DP told me he / we couldn't afford a larger flat and he wasn't able to move further out from work to a place we could afford due to being so ill and not able to cope with any kind of commute. This made me really upset, but I accepted it as I had little choice by this point.

This was hugely less than ideal because it meant DS had no bedroom to come home to for holidays and all our stuff has been in storage for six months so I feel homeless really.

I was very unhappy and stressed by the arrangement , but felt my DP was genuinely ill and I'd need to make a sacrifice for a while until he felt better. I am sure it's genuine that he's barely able to get to work (he has rheumatoid arthritis and fibro), so it was hard to be angry with him.

As I said, I've been incredibly supportive through his illness. Sorted all the doctors, done all the chores so he rests, researching treatments and paying for it, cooking special diets and running our life around his illness. I think it would be fair to say my life revolves around his needs and his illness, which I believed was okay because if you love people you're a team- right?

That said, it's been incredibly hard for me to feel I don't have a proper home and over the holidays I've had to basically stay in Air bnbs hundreds of miles away so my DS had somewhere to stay. We couldn't afford to be in our home town and haven't got family with space, so it's been really, really tough.

DP flew up for Christmas but I felt incredibly sad about this. No Christmas tree. No family around. Just basically me trying to find a place I could afford and it's broken ny heart. I didn't complain though, I just got on with it.

For this week, my DS wanted to see his family so we came to my home town. There's no space to stay "together" so he's at my parents and I've been at DPs, 8 miles away.

My parents had long term plans to be away for 48 hours at NYE and obviously I can leave my DS alone at their house for NYE so me and DP arranged to stay at my parents for 48 hours. We planned nothing for NYE because DP was always too ill to go out.

I woke up yesterday and spent several hours sorting food for DPs special diet and getting ready to go. He woke up in pain and started angrily shouting, and was extremely rude to me. He spoke to me with naked contempt, for no reason.

Then he said he didn't want to traipse across town to stay in someone else's house, that he felt ill and wanted his own surroundings. I told him it was funny that he was well enough to work full time and go on a week long holiday, and was just thinking of himself.

I got extremely angry at basically being abandoned on NYE and told him me and DS were in that situation as a sacrifice to meet his needs and that it was his turn to sacrifice. His attitude was "why should i".

As I got angrier, he blocked me at 8pm last night and never unblocked so I spent NYE alone and crying ny eyes out.

AIBU? To feel he's behaved appallingly?

For context, he's behaved appallingly a lot in the past to me, so this felt like the final straw.

OP posts:
IfIGoThereWillBeTrouble · 01/01/2023 09:28

You’ve been very supportive and accepting of his “rules” but I think that he hasn’t been very considerate of your wants and feelings. It seems very one sided.

could it be time to reevaluate your relationship?

rubyslippers · 01/01/2023 09:30

You’re not a team
he thinks very little of you and your son
time to decide if this is for you long term. I think not
he sounds very rude and demanding and takes your kind support for granted

Jimboscott0115 · 01/01/2023 09:35

You're not in a relationship OP, you are his live in carer and he couldn't give two shits about you or your DS.

The moment he refused to get somewhere you could live together was the moment the relationship became like it is now. Sorry, am a little hungover and blunt but this is so blindingly obvious to all and sundry and it will never get any better.

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 01/01/2023 09:35

Why are you covering your sons university fees? He gets student loans and should have a part time job around it to help him.

That said, having a full time chronic illness is hard but to block you on NYE is cruel. I would be finding elsewhere to live.

toomuchfaster · 01/01/2023 09:37

He is not a loving, supportive partner; he wants someone to manage his life and make it easy for him. Could you live like this for another 20 years? 30 years? Lose your son as you waste your life?

VladmirsPoutine · 01/01/2023 09:37

I think this should be your resolve to cut him out of your life. Find a place to call home and focus on yourself and your son. You're basically his carer with benefits. Your worth so much more.

Poppyblush · 01/01/2023 09:38

Leave the shit and put your son first

Azandme · 01/01/2023 09:41

Jimboscott0115 · 01/01/2023 09:35

You're not in a relationship OP, you are his live in carer and he couldn't give two shits about you or your DS.

The moment he refused to get somewhere you could live together was the moment the relationship became like it is now. Sorry, am a little hungover and blunt but this is so blindingly obvious to all and sundry and it will never get any better.

This.

This isn't a partnership. You're giving everything, he's taking and giving nothing. My mum had severe, disabling, RA, amongst other conditions and wasn't as "needy" as your "partner"! He's using you because you make his life easier.

And you made yourself entirely dependent on him for housing, whilst simultaneously removing any permanent home for your son? 😮

Move out. Get DS to sort student finance, and rebuild your HOME.

ItsNotReallyChaos · 01/01/2023 09:43

You need your own home.

I'm a lone parent. I will never risk my security by relying on a partner to provide a home.

Aside from all that, it sounds like you've fallen into a carer role. I have an autoimmune condition which makes me very ill at times and I'd never leave it to a partner to look after my medical care and my diet.

You saying diet makes me think IBD. It doesn't need a special diet, just a good one generally.

Foodylicious · 01/01/2023 09:46

Blimey.
Thats a lot you have been coping with.
And I might be reading too much 'between the lines', but sounds like you do an awful lot to keep the peace and not anger him perhaps?
Sounds like this has shifted from a partnership to an unhealthy dependence on you and he sounds pretty controlling.

Maybe this is the time to properly take stock and see what YOU want out of life.
Could you stay with your parents awhile and reevaluate your job/work situation and get a little place on your own?

I don't think staying with this man brings your future much brightness.

CoraPirbright · 01/01/2023 09:46

I am so sorry for him as being so very ill must be absolutely awful. However, you only get one go on this planet, OP, and your life sounds awful. How do you feel when you think of the long term? Can you really put up with this for the next 40-odd years? And your son is essentially homeless! Time to put yourself and your DS first - move out and find a home for yourself. You will feel horrendously guilty at first but you are not this man’s partner - you are his carer.

Fireflygal · 01/01/2023 09:50

I will never risk my security by relying on a partner to provide a home

This..perhaps the loss of income made you feel vulnerable but by moving in with him you are more vulnerable. Are you earning now?

Your partner is selfish, that's most likely to be his issue rather than autoimmunes

RampantIvy · 01/01/2023 09:51

Are you his lover or his carer?
Treading on eggshells around a partner doesn't make for a healthy relationship. You don't owe him anything.

I agree that it is time to re-evaluate this "relationsip"

Witchofthedales · 01/01/2023 09:52

This is no life for you, OP, or your son, you've gone above and beyond for your DP and he clearly doesn't appreciate the sacrifices you've had to make. You have every right to be angry. Please put yourself first now, you can't go on like this 💐

IzItMe · 01/01/2023 09:52

I've been angry and struggling since this situation came up. He says he can't do anything about it because he's not got more money, but I wasn't asking to move. I was just expecting he'd appreciate I was in this situation to meets HIS needs, which simultaneously doesn't meet OURS at all but he just raged at me that it wasn't his fault DS didn't have a bedroom.

He even said "no one asked you to give up your flat", but this isn't true.

  1. We'd agreed for YEARS that we'd move in together.
  1. Keeping TWO flats was obviously more expensive than one larger one.
  1. My flat was ALSO 8km away so if he can't "traipse" to my parents how was he planning on living a life with me in a different place?

I really can't believe he acted like this. He's been a real shit to me in the past (had an affair) and I was extremely angry about that (justifiably).

When I got angry about this, he said that my anger was the problem and I was MAKING him ill and that he'd repeatedly asked me for peace and stability and why wasn't I giving it to him.

I'm aware this is probably really bad, but I feel bewildered.

OP posts:
ChrisTrepidation · 01/01/2023 09:54

You're not his partner, you're his live in carer.

This man is using you as an unpaid nurse. He doesn't care about you or your son. Stop wasting your precious time on him. Move out and get a home of your own.

RampantIvy · 01/01/2023 09:54

So he cheats on you and gaslights you?

Why are you with him?

pictoosh · 01/01/2023 09:55

He's a self-centred, callous shit.

ChrisTrepidation · 01/01/2023 09:57

He's had an affair???

Exactly how crippling is his illness? It can't be that debilitating if he's got the strength to be out there putting it about.

Stop putting up with this shit. Just ditch him. He adds nothing to your life and is draining your resources.

Candymay · 01/01/2023 09:57

You should never have given up your home. You don’t need to do that when a child goes to university. They have to borrow the money. Did you own? Rent?
try to get a home for yourself again. This relationship is not the one for you.

ShakespearesBlister · 01/01/2023 09:57

Is it the last straw though? It's quite clear what he gets out of this absurd arrangement but what exactly are you and your child getting from it? Maybe your new year's resolution should be to stop being a martyr and focus on your own happiness instead xx

ForfuckssakeEXHstopbeingatwat · 01/01/2023 10:00

Christ woman, bloody leave him. Just that. He adds literally nothing positive to your life. He was well enough to cheat on you, he's well enough to make efforts to combine your lives properly, incorporating both your needs and your son's. But he's not. Please, prioritise you and your son and leave this awful man.

Lilibert456 · 01/01/2023 10:02

You need to start thinking of yourself and your son. This man is a callous user.

IzItMe · 01/01/2023 10:04

My son has student finance but still needs money each month, his loan only gives him £100 per month spending money and he also has expenses health related as he's autistic.

I have given context above that DP had an affair and that combined with his affair partner deeply harassing me, getting long covid, losing all my income and DP developing chronic illness has been a lot. I've been deeply depressed by feeling homeless.

I'd relied on DP that we'd get a proper place together. He just gets angry and says it's not possible but that's definitely not what I was promised. His illness is real and often agonising but it's very hard feeling I don’t have a home.

DP is often lovely to me, but at times is horrific. Generally out of nowhere he has angry rants and when i respond angrily he tells me my anger is ruining our lives. But i only got angry after he did terrible things to me, so I feel confused why he blames me.

I was horrific to him in the aftermath of his affair, but he was horrific to me - the things he did were truly awful. So he says it's all my fault and I damaged us and should take responsibility.

I don't have any money or a place to live. Between his affair and all that's happened, I feel I've lost everything. I mostly just don't want to be here. But I'm a Mum so have to keep going.

A friend has offered me a free place to live for 6 to 12 months. So I think I'll go there.

I don't think I could ever give love and care to DP again after he made it completely clear I'm on my own.

OP posts:
LittleStar22 · 01/01/2023 10:06

You’re his live in carer and PA.
It really doesn’t sound like an equal relationship or that you get anything out of it at all. He’s disrespected you before by having an affair and now he blocks you.
Keep him blocked.
Stay with your parents when your son returns to Uni and look to rent somewhere else again on your own!

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