He woke up with a cold…. First date

[WorriedWarrier]

Supposed to meet this lunch time…. He’s woken up with a cold.

He doesn’t want to meet, right?

My rule was if they cancelled and rearranged on the same day I gave them one more chance. If they didn’t I just deleted and blocked to save on back and forth. Chances are he’s a time waster

That would be one heck of a plot twist!

Sack him off.

Too early days to say for sure, but cancelling on someone because you have 'a cold' is a bit pathetic. Does he bunk off work too at the sign of a sniffle? Keep an eye on it, but it doesn't sound promising (to me.)

I assume you’ve not had this awful cold that’s going around now.
It’s similar to covid and some people literally can’t get out of bed with it.

Always it’s pretty grimy to meet up with someone if you’re coughing, sneezing and blowing your noise every 2 mins, knowing that by meeting up with them (or going into work) you are passing it on.

I didn’t go to my nieces birthday because I had a bad cold and I knew only a dickhead would go and pass it around to everyone else.

He could be lying.
But it’s not pathetic to cancel because of a cold.

I was due to have a second date yesterday, I bailed because I started with a cold, chills so bad I couldn't get warm. There was no way I was going out in the piss rain to get colder.

To be fair, I've got a stinking cold too. Started about the 23rd and it's still rolling on. I felt absolutely shocking from the start. I've been very careful about not passing it on too as it seems to be a real lingerer.

Has he asked to rearrange?

Yes people get ill, I prefer to take it as it is especially the first time. If you felt rotten you wouldn't want to would you?

However any other sniff of anything then that's it

I'd say thanks for your consideration so I do t catch your cold. Feel better soon and message me when you're well.
If he hasn't contacted you in 4 days you'll know it's an excuse.

He's alive..

A dead man can't read my WhatsApp messages, and leave me waiting for the reply that never came...

I postponed a date as I had a shocking hangover. We rescheduled and 14 years later we’re married.

Would expect someone keen to mention another meet up. Check-out of this one, and if he pops back up see how you feel then.

If it’s a cold you can go to work with (eg Lemsip Max etc) then I’d expect him to turn up but if it’s a bad cold I’d say not.

I actually made up an excuse of having a migraine for a third date with someone this week, partly because it was freezing but also I don’t think I’m really into him and it was at his place.

My rule was if they cancelled and rearranged on the same day I gave them one more chance. If they didn’t I just deleted and blocked to save on back and forth. Chances are he’s a time waster

There’s not wanting to waste your time and then there’s being a control freak.

If someone blocked me for the way I worded my text when I was ill, then I’d be very glad I dodged that bullet.

I would absolutely judge someone on how they treated me when I was ill, especially someone who could be a potential future partner.

He could be a time waster but he could also genuinely be ill.
I think OP’s reply was perfect.

Well if he texts back saying let’s meet up when I’m better I’d maybe give one last chance if you liked him.

I have felt sick with a cold enough to not want to see people.

My husband has a cold atm; if my first impression of meeting him was in his current state we wouldn't have made a second date, he's beyond pathetic (luckily he doesn't own the dressing gown of doom).

If it was me, I'd message back in a couple of days and ask how he's feeling - you should be able to gauge by his reply whether it was an excuse or the truth.

Surely one thing we have learnt from covid is to not spread your germs around, even if it is a simple cold. It’s incredibly selfish to see others if you can avoid it. It’s not about his need to “man up”, which in itself is a toxic message, but the risk of him spreading it around. I have sent home junior colleagues with a cold when they are coughing and sneezing away at their desk, as they can work from home and don’t need to be in the office when unwell.

The mindset that “it’s just a cold” is changing, and rightly so.

Colds make you feel terrible and look like shit and nobody wants to get near you when you have one. I wouldn't go on a first date if I had one.

I could think he has a cold or I could come up with some script of some made scenario I have created

I would think cold and if he wanted to see me again fine if not thinking cold saved me coming up with some backstory

Odd. If I feel unwell enough to cancel, I wouldn't be rescheduling until I felt much better. I certainly would not be doing it the same day.

And this is why we ended up with so many people dead from Covid.

It's never really been acceptable to turn up somewhere with a streaming cold. Selfish people have always done it, but believe me, nobody ever thought well of you for doing it. Especially people with asthma and other conditions who ended up with chest infections and bronchitis because of your 'just a cold'.

If I had arranged to meet someone and then turned up sick, I'd be furious with them and would probably leave.

I would just tell him to get well soon and give him one chance to reschedule.

You would at least write “can we reschedule
for next week” or “I do want to see you”…

I take it you haven't had anything that's currently doing the rounds then?

4days is nothing.

Cancelled my first proper date with my first ever boyfriend because I had a stinking cold. He left some Lockets and a little bag of plain and a little bag of self-raising (flours) with my flat mate. We'll be married 29 years in August.

When I went for my second date with BF (a month after first due to work trips) I had the worst cold/cough/throat/fluey virus ever. I dragged myself there on the tube probably looking awful, because I was keen and was worried I’d look flaky. Married now! Sniffle sniffle sounds like an excuse - sorry OP. Hope the next one is a bit tougher!

I think that was the perfect response. His cold may be genuine, it may not. You've sent a polite reply and left it with him. No fuss, no drama.