He woke up with a cold…. First date

[WorriedWarrier]

Supposed to meet this lunch time…. He’s woken up with a cold.

He doesn’t want to meet, right?

Lovely story, @Mariposista but what was the flour for?

He doesn’t feel bad…. He just doesn’t think it’s right to meet….

anyways time will tell

Yeah, online dating 9/10 times if they cancel the first date on the day you will never see them. And he hasn’t mentioned rearranging. Block him and find someone else.

Surprised that so many think people should go on a date with a cold. I find it a very stupid idea going on a date when you are feeling shit. Any date, let alone a first one.

OP why do you think he is lying?

😂

If someone turned up for a first date with me with a streaming cold it would be a last date.

“Hi Jill, I truly apologise, but I woke up with morning feeling awful and I think I came down with the flu or maybe it's just a bad cold who knows. I would have loved to meet you for coffee but I'm in bed sick. Could we move our date for next weekend once I'm feeling much better? I would still love to meet you. let me know if that's OK".

Translation:
He is sick indeed, but he's interested and would still love to meet you.

No one who is truly sick in bed is going to write such a long winded message and ask questions to get into a conversation.

No way would I waste my energy explaining myself to a man I’d never even met if I was unwell.

I’d simply say sorry I have to cancel as I’m not well. And then contact them when I’m feeling better.

If they choose to not meet up because they’re annoyed with how little I spoke to them when I was ill, then I’d take it as a sign of things to come and stay well clear of them.

Yes he's getting out of it kindly.

Colds have been hideous this season ... so much worse than they used to be. And everyone in my family has 'woken up' with them at various points. cut him some slack if he rebooks...

If I had a cold I wouldnt want to see anyone. It's also conceivable that I wouldn't t want to message anyone either. I'd want to focus on getting better and then start making rearrangements.

What @toocold54 said 100%

He could just be an honest considerate chap with good manners who doesnt want to infect you, wants to be on top form for first date, and has politely cancelled with a true reason. Good qualities.

You lose nothing at all by a friendly reply "Hope you feel better soon , let me know when you're well and we'll find another time."

If he doesn't reply or evades, then you'll know.

Blimey, the first message is fine, the second one would leave me wondering why the heck is he writing up such a novel!

If I had a cold I wouldnt want to see anyone. It's also conceivable that I wouldn't t want to message anyone either. I'd want to focus on getting better and then start making rearrangements.

I completely agree with this.

I actually find it quite sad how many women think you should martyr yourself and go on the date anyway (and spread the germs) or send an over the top message just to prove that you’re not selfish and you’re desperate to meet them.

These are people you’ve never even met or barely know.

If you can’t put yourself first when you are poorly then when can you!

I wouldn't want to meet up with someone I might end up kissing if they were starting a cold! Much better to wait and do it properly in a week's time. What's the rush?

I have a cold, there's nasty cough/ sore throat cold virus doing the rounds
I'm a snotty sore throated mess. It's been 5 days so far
Several of my colleagues who are usually fairly tough have were off 3-5 days with it before Xmas.

So right now I'd take him G his word and see if he rearranges and stays in touch, but keep your options open

I think for a first second or third date you don't want to meet anyone when you've a red and streaming nose. It's hardly unattractive .... nor will you feel like going out eating or making small talk ..

I wouldn’t invest any more time or emotional effort as the likelihood is he’s sacking it off for some reason. But you never know.

BIG mistake to text ‘a few times’. One text saying ‘Get well soon’ was all that was needed.

No way would I text again in a couple of days. Looks desperate.

It’s not a good look showing up full of snot! Guess all you can do is see if he rearranges

I woke up with a ‘cold’ on christmas day, turned out to be covid!

Last thing I’d want to be doing if snotty and feeling rough is meet up with people especially ones I want to make a good first impression with. Last thing I want to be doing if I’m well is spending time with an ill person and ending up ill myself as a result.

I’d call it off and give them chance to rearrange. Theres loads of bugs going round right now so it is completely plausible that they are genuinely not well.

I wouldn’t want my first date with someone to be when I was snotty, red nosed, going through a box of tissues and sneezing every five minutes. It’s not exactly romantic. Take him at his word and see if he rearranges, then you’ll have your answer. There was a thread before Christmas when someone was saying they didn’t want poorly guests at Christmas and most people said that was reasonable. What’s the difference?

If he has the same cold I had a month ago (which turned out to be Covid, but initially presented as a cold) then he is in bed (hence not answering messages) and his head hurts too much to come up with anything more than a basic "sorry can't make today" text.

I think the fact the OP has jumped straight to "he doesn't want to come" rather than giving the benefit of the doubt and seeing how it pans out over the next few days says more about her than him tbh.

I'm just entering my third week of a really nasty cold/cough. DH is the same.

That rescheduling might take a while OP.