He woke up with a cold…. First date

[WorriedWarrier]

Supposed to meet this lunch time…. He’s woken up with a cold.

He doesn’t want to meet, right?

I wouldn't go if I had a cold! It would be annoying, but who can honestly say they're on their best form and wouldn't rather be in bed than on a date. Obviously it could also be an excuse, but I would give him the benefit of the doubt, especially as there's so much going fund at the moment

Yeah I suppose you have a point.

Fuck me, too many people being reasonable on here this morning. What's happened to mumsnet?! 😂

@imalreadygone fair point- for some reason I assumed he just had a stuffy nose and a sore throat. I'm not sure why

It's a dare not work... surely you'd want to come across your best as well...?

Don't worry about whether him cancelling with a cold per se means anything, he could have said 'a cold' but the truth is 'the shits'. The key thing is whether he makes the point he wants to rearrange and does so.

Date.

I guess I read it as a bit patronising but I realise that's with my own biases and life experiences so I apologise and will do better. Sorry @iamruth.

OP - I hope if you're feeling a bit shit about this that your day gets better.

Hehe yes I realise I don't really know how upset OP is about this so I'm sorry for being harsh about the hugs.

Happy day everyone!

Yeah this. A few others have said this too. Say 'sorry you're not well, hope you feel better soon, just contact me in a week or two and let me know when you're ready to meet up again.' That way, you aren't left hanging for weeks and weeks/months, not knowing if he's going to call or message you.

Upshot is, don't chase him. Let him contact YOU.

I'd be fuming if someone showed up to a date with a cold. It's selfish behaviour.

I wouldn’t want to meet him if he has a cold. Also it could be the start of the flu or covid or one of the horrible viruses are going around. Everywhere I go at the moment people are coughing. Give him the benefit of the doubt!

It's a COLD.

Gosh - I’m so sorry if it came across as patronising, absolutely not my intention!

I suppose it proves how difficult it is to read anything from written messages. I have smilies at the PP who said it could be code for the shits. Hopefully he will rearrange or maybe it will be a lucky escape OP

Why give him the benefit of the doubt???

Set your barrier high!

If I woke up with a cold, I'd let the other person know I had a cold and if they wanted to rearrange or were happy to still meet me!

Honestly out of every 100 men I talk to online 40% bail before first date!

That's why I only talk online for maximum a week before meeting. No endless texting!

Is it a cold or that bloody cold lurgy that awas doing the rounds before Christmas and had everyone off school?

You have a good day too. Looks like the 'being reasonable and pleasant on here fairy dust' has worn off though. People are starting to be a bit snarky now. Ahhhh, back to normal. 😂

I have an awful cold at the moment, it came on so suddenly. There's no way I'd be going on a first date feeling so gross and snotty.

Well good point. To cancel anything/everything coz you have a COLD is a bit pathetic IMO. If it's flu/chest infection/very bad cough with a phlemy chest etc, then fine, but he says he has a cold! I suppose we all need more info before judging really.

I've also just remembered cancelling another 1st date because of a cold, this was long before covid. I hadn't met the guy yet. He pushed to come over and bring me some night nurse. Of course i declined, but I did actually go ahead and reschedule with him after the cold and the way he spoke it was as if i was already his gf, he was looking forward to my meeting his friends, etc., before we even had a chance to get to know each other. But that's by the by, point is having a cold when you're on a 1st date is unappealing.

Sack him off. Sounds like a pissy wet blanket.

I look like utter crap when I have a cold. Maybe he really likes you and wants to impress you. Give him a chance to reschedule.

I look and feel like utter shit with a cold, can't imagine wanting to do anything never mind a first date. If my date automatically assumed I was making it up I'd think they were absolutely nuts to be honest.

Might be an excuse, might not. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and just say hope he feels better soon and to let you know when he is well enough to meet up.

Maybe it’s true but don’t make any running.

Say get well soon and then go and have fun. Don’t suggest alternative dates.

Yes can you ask his exact symptoms OP 😂

Totally agree if it's a sniffle he should go ahead. So I'd assume it's not but definitely let him follow up if he wants to rearrange he can. (You might have gone off him by then though).