To think toddler swearing isn’t a big deal

[Pottymouthw]

My daughter recently said fuck off recently. I was videoing her and she said it in context, she is two. I tried not to react as didn’t want to make it into a bigger deal. I don’t swear around my kids, or certainly not at them.

I told her dad, sent him the video because the timing was perfect and kind of funny ( I do NOT think children swearing is okay or cute but it happens).
a whole argue started as he said he’s not impressed, I need to find out where she got it from, we recently spent time with family over Christmas. My family also don’t swear around elders or children culturally it’s not the done thing.

Her dad said he feels like someone must be talking to her like that, maybe in my family we think it’s okay but no one is his family ever swore as a child. He said I need to figure out how she learnt this, could be from literally anywhere?! I don’t think hunk it’s a big deal, she doesn’t know what the words mean and I wouldn’t encourage it? Am I really being unreasonable to think it’s not a big deal?

Ignore it or walk away

or just say no not a nice word

don’t find it funny

Well you asked MN:

Am I really being unreasonable to think it’s not a big deal?

And I think it's a majority opinion so far that yes, you are unreasonable for categorising a toddler swearing as "not a big deal".

best mother of the year award goes to you!!!! Go put ya glad rags on.

next time you swear in front of your kid (which you will) think of me 😘

its Fine if people think I’m being unreasonable I don’t mind checking in with myself and finding out I’m wrong.

Horrible.

And no, all kids don't do it at some point.
They may do with their friends but they model what they hear. If they never hear swearing in their family home then it's very likely they will never swear themselves.

[raises hand] I too don't belive most parents haven't let off the odd 'fuck' or 'shit' in front of children at some minor annoyance like, say, dropping a plate. For many it's a reflex, it just slips out. Certainly not the same as consciously saying 'fuck off' to toddler, but swearing nonethelss.

If, over years of child-raising, you haven't then congrats. Your "world's best mum/dad" mug is in the post.

How clear is her speech? Could she have been trying to say something else?

I never swore in front of my kids as toddlers. Because I wasn't a sweary person. Neither was my ex.

I did blaspheme though, so some people may have thought the fact my toddlers said "trisake" (for Christ's sake) appalling.

Now mine are grown up I swear around them occasionally, but it's still not something I do a lot. I blame them, they've driven me to it.

To be accused of neglecting her is a bit far fetched.. maybe that’s just me. I have never sworn AT my children I don’t treat them like that, I don’t encourage them to speak like that

This is exactly what I’m referring to.

@Hugasauras I remember you posting that and it made me laugh so much 🤣

My friends had a toddler that swore generally in anger and at them... they found it funny as "swearing is just words" this child is now an unruly disrespectful child who has been expelled from school for swearing at a teacher as he was never taught that this was wrong.
I am not saying my children are perfect one of mine swore as a toddler ( ignoring never worked so I used to punish him just minor things never excessive)
It can be funny I agree but must never be encouraged.

Honestly, it’s not a big deal. I come from
quite a sweary family, and all the adults have turned out ok, all professionals, give to charity etc, quite nice people (I think!). All the kids are very spirited, polite, very clever. The odd “shit” or even a “bollocks” hasn’t done any harm at all to any of us.

Which is exactly why I'm wondering how she could have picked it up off the street....

My late parents and many others never swore in front of us as children or adults. Swearing is a big deal. It indicates poor manners and makes others think less of you. When a young child swears, it reflects badly on the parents.

My apologies. I read your post as asking two separate questions.

It really doesn’t. I’d be suspicious of a grown adult who does let the odd ‘duck’ out
your snobbery is misplaced

makes others think less of you

so?

My mother and father had been very volatile for years and she eventually put him out when I was 4. At 5 I had to give a statement to the police about the names he called her and I felt unsure whether to say these words out loud. My family were very sweary, I never did till I was at high school and only with my friends.

I'm also one who finds it funny, in context and also I don't react. I don't have kids but I try to be mindful of little sponges picking things up.

I remember being in a packed doctors surgery and a frazzled mum leaving her two under 7's in the waiting room under the supervision of an elderly lady who was also waiting to be seen. The wee boy crawled into a cupboard to which his sister said " get out of there ya scabby wee bastard." I'm afraid I did laugh as the waiting room was plunged into silence. Not my kids not my problem.

Surely the worst thing you cans do is give it attention in any way! That will just encourage it. You will never find out where she heard it from and it doesn't matter now she has.

On a side note I've just spent time with family over Christmas with their little boy who is obsessed with ducks right now and going to feed the ducks. There was a river at the bottom of the Airbnb garden they were staying in.
All he kept saying was can we go and feed the fucks, the fucks hungry. Want feed the fucks. 😂 His grandmother was horrified and made a huge deal out of it! The rest of us struggling to hide our laughter!

Was it just a goat, or a fucking goat? 🐐

🤣🤣🤣🤣

To be honest I would find it funny to. I would not let the child know I thought it was funny though. Kids pick stuff up that's life there's not always someone to blame. Your pathetic needs to calm down . All he will do is cause bad feelings with people for accusing them.

My middle daughter learnt 'shit' quite young when I opened the washing machine door, only to flood the kitchen. Obviously, I didn't mean to, but I did slip up and, due to the gusto with which it was uttered, she did almost immediately try it out. It lasted a couple of days. Now at 5 I don't think it's in her vocabulary anymore.

I also have videos of one or other of my children saying "Cocks" (cogs) "fuck it" (far kick) "Bum" (plum) and "Wank" (quack). Are you certain she didn't just mispronounce something OP? That would be my go-to, even in context. 2 year olds can have questionable pronunciation at the best of times!

You should be ashamed of yourself

It's not cancer or poverty so no, it's not the end of the world. But there's a TikTok trend for swearing toddlers that I find really sad and reprehensible. It's not ok. I wouldn't expect my partner to be impressed and I would be trying to see that said toddler didn't hear it again.