Did you have the baby yourself?

[Irishfarmer]

I was at a family party yesterday and my sisters SIL asked me in relation to my baby 'did you have him yourself?' I looked at her and said what? She said 'or you know a section'

I don't think she meant to be rude but FFS I DID HAVE HIM MYSELF. I didn't go into the hospital and pick out a baby. I grew him for 9 months, went for countless appointments due to GD, and him being transverse, he moved at the last min so they induced and after 3 days they went with a section.

I'm not sure what my AIBU is. AIBU that she implied having a section wasn't having him?

That's hilarious 😂

I know some friends who've had a section won't say they gave birth but instead had X by CSection but I would certainly still see it as giving birth. But your inlaws are a different level altogether ☺

She’s stupid. I had an emcs too, unfortunately we get stupid comments sometimes. Next time shit her down with pretty much what you’ve written on here.

How fucking rude. You grew a human, with your body. How said human exited your body is none of her business.

What an idiot. Course you had the baby. I had emcs too, induction, 5 days of labour with no pain relief

Honestly. Get used to it. People dump all sorts of passive self righteous shit on you when you have kids. I'm divorced. The comments came thick and fast then.

I’ve had a vaginal delivery and an EMCS. I think she was just asking clumsily what kind of birth you had. I don’t mean this unkindly but she doesn’t actually care, no one does - it’s just chit chat and probably a bit of awkwardness over saying the word vaginal.

It may just be a mealy mouthed way of asking how you had him. I wouldn’t think too much into it. One person’s opinion (even if it is an opinion) doesn’t mean shit

Why on earth people think they have a right to ask about one's genitalia (in this case, whether that was baby's exit route) escapes me.

Sorry pressed too soon
What an idiot. Course you had the baby. I had emcs too, induction, 5 days of labour with no pain relief I defiantly had a baby

Argh this INFURIATES me.
I had similar comments after my emergency csec following 36 hours of labour and eventually baby was in distress. As her MOTHER, it didn't matter how she exited my body!
"Oh it's a shame you couldn't see it through"
"Oh you've had it easy at least"

Just piss off. 🤣🤣
Advise them to slice their abdomen in half and then crack straight on looking after a newborn.

You grew your baby, you birthed your baby. It's simple. YADNBU. congratulations

“Yes I had him myself, and I had a C section.”

What a dumbass.

"No, the stork brought him", withering look.

Eh. I thought u meant same sex couples from the title about who gave birth

People do this also when they say "did you feed him yourself ", ie they mean did you breastfeed, as though bottle feeding isn't also feeding the baby yourself. Strange.

What a stupid question! People are truly unbelievable 🙄

'Did you have him yourself?' 😂 what a question to ask. I wonder if she's thought back and realised how it sounded. There could be a chance that what she meant to say came out wrong.

I think what it boils down to is people are afraid of saying breast and vagina out loud lest they burn 😂

That’s even worse than people who ask if you’re feeding the baby “yourself”.

Surely, even if you’re formula feeding, the mother is likely to be doing a large proportion of the scooping, sterilising, boiling, shaking and bottle feeding herself.

I’ve had 2 unassisted deliveries, but I don’t see how a section isn’t giving birth “yourself”. So stupid.

I suspect she was clumsily trying to re-word ‘did you have him vaginally’.

"No, I decided after growing the child in my own womb for 9 months that it made much more sense for me to magic my baby over to the womb of the lady who was sat in reception so she could give birth for me. She looked like she had good sized hips for pushing."

But why would anyone ask that of someone they only vaguely know? Who needs to know this?

I had an assisted birth and a caesarean. Does that mean I didn't have either of them myself and can give them back?!

I had two c sections and my mother loved to tell people I was too posh to push - hilarious she is 😏

After having kids i swiftly learned that people have NO personal blah satire when it comes to someone else’s children. It seems to be socially acceptable to find out if you had a medical related activity via your vagina or your abdomen when you’re asking a postnatal woman

Conversation doesn’t really work on a need to know basis most of the time. It’s very much a usual topic of conversation with women who’ve recently had babies.