Did you have the baby yourself?

[Irishfarmer]

I was at a family party yesterday and my sisters SIL asked me in relation to my baby 'did you have him yourself?' I looked at her and said what? She said 'or you know a section'

I don't think she meant to be rude but FFS I DID HAVE HIM MYSELF. I didn't go into the hospital and pick out a baby. I grew him for 9 months, went for countless appointments due to GD, and him being transverse, he moved at the last min so they induced and after 3 days they went with a section.

I'm not sure what my AIBU is. AIBU that she implied having a section wasn't having him?

I think she pronounced worded it incorrectly. For instance where I am we would say "Did you go yourself"? Meaning did you go into spontaneous labour or were u induced or have a section. She probably meant that.

I had a section and I wouldn't be offended by her question but maybe it's a regional thing.

These ridiculous comments disappear once the baby is a toddler. Ignore.

I didn’t say she needed to know it, just that I suspect that’s why she worded it that way.

Idiotic / ignorant and none of her business anyway, and I say that as someone who has had 2 vaginal births

I think this one makes much more sense tho, surely. Feeding baby yourself means no bottle, not the same as do you feed your baby!

I always say that I had my babies extracted by professionals (one EMCS, one forceps) rather than DIY because it clearly wasn't in my skill set. If I'd known how bad I was at it in advance I'd never have even attempted to do it and would have "got a man in" from the start, see also my tragic attempts at wallpapering.

When my husband's ex heard I'd had a section she said (to me) 'oh so not a real birth then'.
I think a lot of people think a section is an easy option. It can be easier if a vaginal birth is complicated. But there can be complications with a section too. And either way it certainly counts as 'real'!

I don't think it's rude but it's clumsily worded.

My old fashioned Irish Catholic mum could never bring herself to say the word 'breast', so she'd ask "Are you feeding the baby yourself?" 😂

X posted!

If you bottle feed your baby, you're feeding your baby yourself though 😁

Ah, I think most would understand this phasing. If you're bottle feeding, you're feeding the baby? If someone asked me if I'd had the baby myself, like OP was asked, I'd have thought they meant did I give birth without any help!! I've definitely had people ask 'Are you feeding?' as shorthand for breastfeeding, no misunderstanding or offence taken. I was asked 'Who delivered him?' to which I replied 'I did!'. It's funny what can get your back up when you're post birth and sleep deprived.

Phrasing! Gah!!

I would have assumed she was asking if I used a surrogate so the conversation would have become even more ridiculous 😂😂

Really odd. Would have thought she meant adoption or surrogacy from that comment.

Some people have very strange ideas/views about pregnancy and childbirth and are arrogant enough to think everyone else is desperate to hear them. Ignore and enjoy your baby.

I went for post -birth physio, and the physio was trying so hard not to say this that she just said "are you feeding the baby?"

Well yeah, I thought I ought to.

Ver strange thing to say. Is she a mother herself? I've had 1 Dc by c sec and 1 naturally and i can say there is no difference in my mind that i gave birth to them both.
Feels like a crafty dig to diminish your experience as a mum if I'm honest

'did you have him yourself'?! My response would have been 'no love, I picked him up in the middle aisle of Lidl. CF 😠🙄

Sorry that's nonsense. If someone said 'did you have the baby yourself?' I would assume they were alluding to surrogacy. How is having a baby by c sec in someway not having the baby yourself?
And some women can be especially bitchy around new mums its not attributable to being post birth and sleep deprived

Eh, what's nonsense? I have already said the OP's ILs were ridiculous.

“No. He was left on my doorstep with a note.”

Change of subject.

I was referring to me as having my back up in response to the who delivered him question! And yes I can put my own response down to post birth everything.

Yep I think it's this and probably didn't want to use the word 'natural' either in case it was offensive but ended up sounding like a bit of a twit.

If people get judgy about c-sections with me - I’ve had 2 - I am quite blunt with them.

This is pretty much what I would say!

Sorry, misread. I thought you were referring to op being post birth and sleep deprived (and therefore sensitive), apologies