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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have taken her DD to Pizza Express?

346 replies

h2Oo · 28/12/2022 19:40

As a favour for a neighbour, I was taking her DD to Pizza Express with my DD (her friend)

We were all set to go and then I couldn't find my bloody bag! Found it. Went there, went to go in and they announced they didn't have any pasta left

My friend's DD started crying and was really not happy. She said it's all pointless, and that she wants to go

So we did go. And I took them to KFC. They were happy with that

When I dropped her home, she told her mum. Next thing I know, I get a text asking why I said I'd be going Pizza express when I just went KFC? And if she'd known I was only going for fast food, she would've taken her to the cinema with the older DD (I did this as a favour so she could spend some time with her older DD for her birthday)

AIBU to be upset? Not even sure how to reply! I didn't and won't say her DD had a tantrum and that's why we didn't go

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 30/12/2022 16:33

My response to the her text would have been "?" Or " I'm not sure I appreciate what you are saying. Could you please explain?" And watch her either be a CF outright, or tie herself in knots once she realises how rude she has been.
The woman appears to have forgotten her manners.

PixieLaLa · 30/12/2022 18:00

Ok everyone who has jumped on the text part about my post but why would you not mention the change of plan when you dropped the child off? And even more bizarre why would you not tell the reason why the plan changed when the mum asked? There hasn’t been any justification about that other than “not wanting to grass up a 6 year old” it’s odd behaviour.

TangledWebofMincemeatDeception · 30/12/2022 18:03

Well the grassing bit is very odd, I agree. But no, I wouldn’t report a change of plan about where to eat. It’s not crucial information.

PixieLaLa · 30/12/2022 18:08

red4321 · 30/12/2022 08:51

Why didn’t you text the mum and let her know the plans had changed to going to KFC? I do think the neighbour sounds rude but OP sounds like you have some serious communication issues…..

If I have someone else's child, I don't text a blow-by-blow account of what we're doing (nor expect one if they have my kids). I'd mention a rough plan when they were dropped off and that's it.

I certainly wouldn't think a change of restaurant is worthy of a text. Particularly given the mum was at the cinema so presumably not looking at her phone during the film.

If I trust someone with my child, I trust them in terms of the activities they choose to do with them. And frankly I'm grateful for a few hours off because play dates can be the gift that keeps giving.

You have literally removed the middle part of my message, ignored it and placed the last line with the first just to suite your reply

WaitingOutside · 30/12/2022 18:09

h2Oo · 30/12/2022 09:09

The problem wasn't the fast food. It was because KFC wasn't special enough and she wanted her DD to do something special so she didn't feel left out of the cinema trip

Oh... that makes much more sense. She wanted both kids to have special treat but only pay for one. It was never about your DD having a friend to play, it was simply a free restaurant meal out for her daughter. At least you know you've been used.

Original poster
h2Oo · 30/12/2022 18:31

Zazazoolly · 30/12/2022 10:03

I’m wondering why you mentioned not being able to find your bag? Did this cause some stress which may have made the child feel anxious and upset from the start?

No.

I don't really know 'why' I mentioned it. I suppose I thought at the time, in my head, maybe if I hadn't spend 15 mins looking for my bag they'd have some pasta left

But yeah, I don't know why I mentioned it if I'm honest

OP posts:
sue20 · 30/12/2022 18:35

Just explain what happened in the same way described here

red4321 · 30/12/2022 19:32

You have literally removed the middle part of my message, ignored it and placed the last line with the first just to suite your reply

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend, I was trying to cut down the quote and didn't think it fundamentally changed the gist of your post. Apologies if you felt it did, it wasn't my intention.

Emdubz · 30/12/2022 20:39

h2Oo · 30/12/2022 18:31

No.

I don't really know 'why' I mentioned it. I suppose I thought at the time, in my head, maybe if I hadn't spend 15 mins looking for my bag they'd have some pasta left

But yeah, I don't know why I mentioned it if I'm honest

Show quote history

The reason you mentioned it made perfect sense to me.

OnTheRoadAgain1 · 30/12/2022 22:11

Emdubz · 30/12/2022 20:39

The reason you mentioned it made perfect sense to me.

Show quote history

I agree. I read it as OP would have gotten there sooner if she found her purse quicker. Still not her fault but I get the reasoning behind mentioning it.

SchnauzerEyebrows · 30/12/2022 22:54

justanotherhappyflunkie · 29/12/2022 09:39

The mother was so rude but if you had taken my child to KFC I would be really upset. I have never taken my children there (or McDs etc). It's something that I probably would have to tell someone who was taking my children out for food though as I wouldn't want this type of awkward situation. I would never be rude to someone like she has though. This isn't a very popular opinion though so I'm expecting no one to understand!

You would genuinely cry because your child went to KFC!?!?!? WTAF?!

SchnauzerEyebrows · 30/12/2022 22:58

@h2Oo So what did you reply then?
Btw, here's some Gin to get your strength back after batting away all the troll hunters! Gin

sue20 · 31/12/2022 05:29

h2Oo · 28/12/2022 19:43

I didn't want to grass on a 6 year old and start moaning that we had to go elsewhere because she was upset Blush

I don’t see what is “grassing” here? Her DD wanted pasta and they didn’t have so you did something else. She didn’t misbehave by 6 year old standards. You could sadly point out you had hoped to give her special time with other DD but misunderstood that she wanted that? Which sounds possible and is maybe the root of her rudeness?

PixieLaLa · 31/12/2022 23:02

SchnauzerEyebrows · 30/12/2022 22:54

You would genuinely cry because your child went to KFC!?!?!? WTAF?!

Show quote history

Erm when was the word CRY mentioned?! Your being goady and twaty TBH

LoisLane66 · 02/01/2023 05:32

Why didn't you have pizza fgs?

Obliv · 02/01/2023 16:14

@ReluctantCourier I was thinking the same Grin

FromTheFront2theBack · 02/01/2023 16:19

The mother was so rude but if you had taken my child to KFC I would be really upset. I have never taken my children there (or McDs etc). It's something that I probably would have to tell someone who was taking my children out for food though as I wouldn't want this type of awkward situation. I would never be rude to someone like she has though. This isn't a very popular opinion though so I'm expecting no one to understand!

I wouldn't especially have a problem with a parent having an unusual rule for what their DC can do on a playdate as long as they're very clear before the playdate is arranged. Certain things I'd take as obvious (not going to be showing scary films or giving alcohol to young kids) but if you object to normal activities you definitely need to warn me first!

poefaced · 02/01/2023 16:23

justanotherhappyflunkie · 29/12/2022 09:39

The mother was so rude but if you had taken my child to KFC I would be really upset. I have never taken my children there (or McDs etc). It's something that I probably would have to tell someone who was taking my children out for food though as I wouldn't want this type of awkward situation. I would never be rude to someone like she has though. This isn't a very popular opinion though so I'm expecting no one to understand!

As if Pizza Express is healthier than KFC 🙄

healthadvice123 · 02/01/2023 16:27

@justanotherhappyflunkie be prepared for when they are a teenager then as they will try it at least once
Is it not better to teach kids about moderation and also depending whats picked in pizza express it may not be much more nutritional
I never get outright bans on things like this

justanotherhappyflunkie · 02/01/2023 17:29

Certainly wouldn't cry about it or be rude.
It's just not something my children eat or want to eat. When they're teens I fully expect them to try it and see what they think. It seems from OP reply that the issue was if it was enough of a "treat" which is completely different and I fully support you OP.

ToughTopicsMom · 07/01/2023 07:07

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