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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have taken her DD to Pizza Express?

346 replies

h2Oo · 28/12/2022 19:40

As a favour for a neighbour, I was taking her DD to Pizza Express with my DD (her friend)

We were all set to go and then I couldn't find my bloody bag! Found it. Went there, went to go in and they announced they didn't have any pasta left

My friend's DD started crying and was really not happy. She said it's all pointless, and that she wants to go

So we did go. And I took them to KFC. They were happy with that

When I dropped her home, she told her mum. Next thing I know, I get a text asking why I said I'd be going Pizza express when I just went KFC? And if she'd known I was only going for fast food, she would've taken her to the cinema with the older DD (I did this as a favour so she could spend some time with her older DD for her birthday)

AIBU to be upset? Not even sure how to reply! I didn't and won't say her DD had a tantrum and that's why we didn't go

OP posts:
amispeakingintongues · 29/12/2022 21:50

Toomuchtrouble4me · 29/12/2022 21:16

She’s sent you a really shitty message!
Dear neighbour, when we got to Pizza Express they had no pasta and your DD had a meltdown and was crying. She didn’t want to go in, to placate her we decided on KFC.
I hope you enjoyed your one to one time with other DD which I thought was why I was taking her in the first place.
PS - You’re welcome.

OP - send this.

And never take her child anywhere again.

PixieLaLa · 29/12/2022 23:34

Yer the neighbour has been rude but the more I think about it the more odd OP sounds in this situ. Why didn’t you text the mum and let her know the plans had changed to going to KFC? Why didn’t you tell her when your dropped her child off? Why didn’t you tell her the reason when she text you? It all sounds odd behaviour to me. I do think the neighbour sounds rude but OP sounds like you have some serious communication issues…..

TangledWebofMincemeatDeception · 29/12/2022 23:50

Why on earth should she have texted her? Confused She’s not her boss, she doesn’t need to report changes to her...she’s doing a favour!

colourmebladd · 30/12/2022 07:48

Don’t message back anything lengthy. “Don’t be ridiculous” will do.

MzHz · 30/12/2022 08:07

justanotherhappyflunkie · 29/12/2022 09:39

The mother was so rude but if you had taken my child to KFC I would be really upset. I have never taken my children there (or McDs etc). It's something that I probably would have to tell someone who was taking my children out for food though as I wouldn't want this type of awkward situation. I would never be rude to someone like she has though. This isn't a very popular opinion though so I'm expecting no one to understand!

You do realise your kids will grow up and go out on their own?

family member was sniffy about fast food when her kids were little and was really judgy and sniffy about anything I fed my ds that wasn’t on her approved list. Fast forward and now her kids are teens and will seek fast food out anywhere to the point of loudly and rudely wanting what others have on their plates that are nuggets or pizza etc.

a balanced approach to fast food and foods in general is far healthier than your Ban Everything approach.

justanotherhappyflunkie · 30/12/2022 08:12

MzHz · 30/12/2022 08:07

You do realise your kids will grow up and go out on their own?

family member was sniffy about fast food when her kids were little and was really judgy and sniffy about anything I fed my ds that wasn’t on her approved list. Fast forward and now her kids are teens and will seek fast food out anywhere to the point of loudly and rudely wanting what others have on their plates that are nuggets or pizza etc.

a balanced approach to fast food and foods in general is far healthier than your Ban Everything approach.

Show quote history

I appreciate you being judgy and sniffy about my choices.

I appreciate it's not the easy choice and I will be sure to make sure my children don't grow into entitled brats like your family members.

red4321 · 30/12/2022 08:51

Why didn’t you text the mum and let her know the plans had changed to going to KFC? I do think the neighbour sounds rude but OP sounds like you have some serious communication issues…..

If I have someone else's child, I don't text a blow-by-blow account of what we're doing (nor expect one if they have my kids). I'd mention a rough plan when they were dropped off and that's it.

I certainly wouldn't think a change of restaurant is worthy of a text. Particularly given the mum was at the cinema so presumably not looking at her phone during the film.

If I trust someone with my child, I trust them in terms of the activities they choose to do with them. And frankly I'm grateful for a few hours off because play dates can be the gift that keeps giving.

Original poster
h2Oo · 30/12/2022 09:05

red4321 · 30/12/2022 08:51

Why didn’t you text the mum and let her know the plans had changed to going to KFC? I do think the neighbour sounds rude but OP sounds like you have some serious communication issues…..

If I have someone else's child, I don't text a blow-by-blow account of what we're doing (nor expect one if they have my kids). I'd mention a rough plan when they were dropped off and that's it.

I certainly wouldn't think a change of restaurant is worthy of a text. Particularly given the mum was at the cinema so presumably not looking at her phone during the film.

If I trust someone with my child, I trust them in terms of the activities they choose to do with them. And frankly I'm grateful for a few hours off because play dates can be the gift that keeps giving.

Yes. You're so right. If I trust someone with my chid, I trust them with my child

No need for updates on plans to go to a different establishment than briefly mentioned before

OP posts:
Original poster
h2Oo · 30/12/2022 09:08

Checking a place is okay is completely irrelevant because there are no allergies involved or religious reasons around food

But aside from that, she goes to McDonald's after dancing on a Friday. So she's hardly never eating fast food! Or not allowed it

OP posts:
Original poster
h2Oo · 30/12/2022 09:09

The problem wasn't the fast food. It was because KFC wasn't special enough and she wanted her DD to do something special so she didn't feel left out of the cinema trip

OP posts:
greentwig · 30/12/2022 09:24

red4321 · 30/12/2022 08:51

Why didn’t you text the mum and let her know the plans had changed to going to KFC? I do think the neighbour sounds rude but OP sounds like you have some serious communication issues…..

If I have someone else's child, I don't text a blow-by-blow account of what we're doing (nor expect one if they have my kids). I'd mention a rough plan when they were dropped off and that's it.

I certainly wouldn't think a change of restaurant is worthy of a text. Particularly given the mum was at the cinema so presumably not looking at her phone during the film.

If I trust someone with my child, I trust them in terms of the activities they choose to do with them. And frankly I'm grateful for a few hours off because play dates can be the gift that keeps giving.

Surely most would mention it when dropping them back though, “there was a slight change of plan and we went to KFC instead” instead of leaving them to hear it from their 6yo.

Zazazoolly · 30/12/2022 10:03

I’m wondering why you mentioned not being able to find your bag? Did this cause some stress which may have made the child feel anxious and upset from the start?

MerryChristmasTree · 30/12/2022 10:33

Surely most would mention it when dropping them back though, “there was a slight change of plan and we went to KFC instead”

Probably yes, but the correct response is ‘Ok, thanks for taking them’. Not going batshit.

Snowpixi · 30/12/2022 11:06

You would not be moaning - you would be acting as a parent and providing a reasonable explanation. I feel like you need some a confidence boost as well- you are the adult - you’ve got this!

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 30/12/2022 11:19

FedUpWithEverything123 · 29/12/2022 00:11

You sound a bit weird OP. I agree with your actions. But still..

I find this response weird. OP sounds totally normal.

melj1213 · 30/12/2022 11:26

h2Oo · 30/12/2022 09:09

The problem wasn't the fast food. It was because KFC wasn't special enough and she wanted her DD to do something special so she didn't feel left out of the cinema trip

TBH for some kids any fast food is a treat and I don't get the hierarchy of fast food places some people have.

One of my nephew's (DBs son) has fast food at least once a week so for him it's just normal; for my DSis' children fast food is something they have very rarely so for them it would be a treat regardless of whether it was KFC or Pizza Express. If I asked any of them where they wanted to go then I'd take them where they chose - nephew because he just likes fast food and DNs because it was a rare treat - regardless of the reasoning because it's what they wanted and asked for.

girlmom21 · 30/12/2022 13:15

h2Oo · 30/12/2022 09:09

The problem wasn't the fast food. It was because KFC wasn't special enough and she wanted her DD to do something special so she didn't feel left out of the cinema trip

Tell her next time she can just choose not to leave her daughter out herself

whynotwhatknot · 30/12/2022 13:20

shes a cheeky bitch tell her to take her own child out then

Stewball01 · 30/12/2022 13:34

I'd have said exactly what happened and that she threw a tantrum in the middle of the street. Maybe the dd should be taught not to lie which she obviously did.

Madamum18 · 30/12/2022 13:49

I think she was very rude and ungrateful frankly! Explaining that KFC was agreed by agreement with the kids was fine, but I have to say I would be loathe to do her favour again if she is that entitled!!

MissMaple82 · 30/12/2022 13:51

Merryoldgoat · 28/12/2022 19:41

Why not? Just tell her what happened and say next time you won’t bother.

You are being unreasonable because you won't reply and say what happened!

Grrrrdarling · 30/12/2022 14:00

h2Oo · 28/12/2022 19:40

As a favour for a neighbour, I was taking her DD to Pizza Express with my DD (her friend)

We were all set to go and then I couldn't find my bloody bag! Found it. Went there, went to go in and they announced they didn't have any pasta left

My friend's DD started crying and was really not happy. She said it's all pointless, and that she wants to go

So we did go. And I took them to KFC. They were happy with that

When I dropped her home, she told her mum. Next thing I know, I get a text asking why I said I'd be going Pizza express when I just went KFC? And if she'd known I was only going for fast food, she would've taken her to the cinema with the older DD (I did this as a favour so she could spend some time with her older DD for her birthday)

AIBU to be upset? Not even sure how to reply! I didn't and won't say her DD had a tantrum and that's why we didn't go

YOU TOTALLY DO tell her that her DD threw a wobbly because Pizza Express had no pasta, YOU DO tell her that you changed the venue purely for that & YOU DO tell her that her DD agreed KFC as an alternative! If DD continues to whine like a spoilt brat you clearly know what the answer is to the next can you take DD anywhere… it is NOPE!

Grrrrdarling · 30/12/2022 15:34

h2Oo · 28/12/2022 19:43

I didn't want to grass on a 6 year old and start moaning that we had to go elsewhere because she was upset Blush

It is not grassing it is called being an adult & telling the truth! She hasn’t lied at the point of you going to Pizza Express she has behaved like a spoilt brat & partially spoilt a meal out but she has then lied about what happened making you look like the person in the wrong to cover her own disgraceful behaviour; which is now starting to sound purely like an act to see how far she can ouch things with you!
You tell her parent exactly what happened & do not feel bad about it one bit!!
Maybe I’m being harsh but personally i would have still taken everyone to Pizza Express but that is because I won’t stand for brat behaviour. Plenty more on the menu & she can have pasta at home if she wanted it so bad!!!

Snowpixi · 30/12/2022 16:23

Totally agree, it sounds young and misguided!

Snowpixi · 30/12/2022 16:24

She said “she didn’t want to grass on a 6 year old”! That fronts sound normal. That statement is weird!