Page 9 | Teenagers outfits!!!

Gabzz212 · 2022-12-28T18:15:48+00:00

So am I being unreasonable to be sick to the back teeth of my 14 year old outfit choices now. Just spoke to her after she has been to town with her friend to buy 'an outfit'. Asked her please buy something appropriate for the weather she also knows I don't like stuff too revealing anyways she has been and bought some £30 nike pro shorts and a hoodie. I'm pissed. I was supposed to take her trusted her on her own and this is what she buys? All the time we are arguing over her outfits she wears sports bras as tops and always has tiny short, tiny crop tops on and big lashes. I'm sick of it I feel like she has no respect for herself and really don't understand why she always wants to have so much on show. I think she's too young and it also sends out the wrong message. My stepfather actually said to my mum after we had been for a visit last week that he didn't even feel like speaking to her as he didn't know wear to look and felt quite uncomfortable. I try and explain its not good to dress this way all the time but get nowhere. AIBU to feel quite upset and stressed over this situation?

SchoolQuestionnaire · 28/12/2022 20:31

Tiggal · 28/12/2022 18:48

Why are you sexualising a child instead of calling out your creepy stepdad?

This.

His pov is disgusting and you should be defending your dd’s choices rather than his icky pov. She’s 14 for goodness sake.

AbreathofFrenchair · 28/12/2022 20:32

Paslaptis · 28/12/2022 20:26

The outfit you've described sounds sporty and comfortable/flexible rather than sexy and revealing. But if you'd sent her to buy an outfit to wear to a church wedding or to visit her great gran in the nursing home (for example), I understand why you'd feel she didn't make a good choice!

Are the two of you not clearly communicating the purpose of what she's buying - e.g., you think she needs warm clothes for outdoors/around the neighbourhood on winter weekends and she thinks she needs workout/gym/beach wear? In future, could the two of you maybe do some browsing together online for the kind of outfits she's looking for, so you can see if you're in agreement and maybe compromise if not? (I'm assuming you're paying for the clothing; if she is then I'd give her the choice.) Also not sure the lashes are a warmth issue - although I did see a woman wearing false eyelashes made out of fur the other day, and they looked very cosy!

Your stepfather's comments are weird and gross; don't project his issues onto your daughter.

Eyelashes made out of fur?!?!

Grassisbluer · 28/12/2022 20:32

Didn't Matalan get into trouble last year for selling clothing that objectified and sexualised young girls (9-16 year olds)?
Isn't that what the OP is worried about? What reasonable adult wouldn't be concerned and uncomfortable to see girls exploited in this way? If an adult wants to wear revealing clothing, fine, but they shouldn't be marketed at kids. (Hoodies are fine though, don't see any problem there.)

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2022 20:37

Regularsizedrudy · 28/12/2022 19:38

If your stepdad can’t look at his grandchild without thinking about fucking her that’s his problem. Get a grip, she’s a teenager, this is what teenagers do.

this is just such a gross, disgusting and coarse thing to assume and to say. I can’t believe you even think along those lines. But if that’s how you want to approach life, you carry on. I prefer to treat people as people and not turn everything into a gender-bashing thing.

Some of you are so twisted in how you view men. If my son walked round in tight cycling shorts leaving nothing to the imagination (and he had no intention of going cycling) I would ask him to go and put something a bit less revealing on if we were expecting guests, male or female, of any age. It’s simply about what is and isn’t appropriate. I could totally understand a guest being uncomfortable around that and wouldn’t automatically assume that meant they wanted to “fuck my son”, for God’s sake. Some of you are fucking depraved.

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 20:38

Mocara · 28/12/2022 20:30

The majority of you sound like bloody imature teenagers arguing , know wonder you dont know how to parent a 14 yr old CHIld !

Saying any old crap just to have the last word and look like your a cool friend to your child and not a parent !
Congratulations to the handful of parents on here who dont parent with a sheep mentality your children are the lucky ones 👏👏👏

Minimise much? Again with the assumptions, it just makes you look ridiculous. Just because we don’t think adult males should be protected from wicked teenage girls it does not follow that we have no rules etc, I’m not my child’s BFF, I’m their mother and as such I won’t force the responsibility of the male gaze/inability to look at a face on to them, seems like you are more sheeplike in your comprehension than most.

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 20:39

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2022 20:37

this is just such a gross, disgusting and coarse thing to assume and to say. I can’t believe you even think along those lines. But if that’s how you want to approach life, you carry on. I prefer to treat people as people and not turn everything into a gender-bashing thing.

Some of you are so twisted in how you view men. If my son walked round in tight cycling shorts leaving nothing to the imagination (and he had no intention of going cycling) I would ask him to go and put something a bit less revealing on if we were expecting guests, male or female, of any age. It’s simply about what is and isn’t appropriate. I could totally understand a guest being uncomfortable around that and wouldn’t automatically assume that meant they wanted to “fuck my son”, for God’s sake. Some of you are fucking depraved.

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Especially if he was fat ay

susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 20:42

I’m not my child’s BFF, I’m their mother and as such I won’t force the responsibility of the male gaze/inability to look at a face on to them

👏🏻

AbreathofFrenchair · 28/12/2022 20:42

Mocara · 28/12/2022 20:30

The majority of you sound like bloody imature teenagers arguing , know wonder you dont know how to parent a 14 yr old CHIld !

Saying any old crap just to have the last word and look like your a cool friend to your child and not a parent !
Congratulations to the handful of parents on here who dont parent with a sheep mentality your children are the lucky ones 👏👏👏

I guarantee that the posters saying they would call social services if their teen daughter went out in shorts as it's a welfare concern are not parents or parents of toddlers. The same as the ones who would simply take their teen shopping and give them two choices, are also either not parents or parents of toddlers. Parenting teens is worlds apart from parenting pre teens and it's easy to say whar you would do with a 4 year old and you literally cannot do it with a 14 year old.

Nice little bitchy dig about people trying to be cool parents too. Make you feel better did it? Those who enforce ridiculous rules and laws for their teens probably have no idea of their real teen. Ive seen plenty of people through my line of work come unstuck because they thought hard and strict was the only way to parent a teen.

Everyone else saying the Grandad needs to look at her face and not her body and that teens will follow fashion and that clothes are not worth starting arguments over are not bad parents.

It blows my mind how people on here are so fucking arrogant that they cannot accept a difference of opinion and have to insist someone is a bad parent or drunk.

BadNomad · 28/12/2022 20:44

The only reason to feel uncomfortable about the way someone is dressed is because you sexualise their body. Even a child's. Your stepfather is disgusting.

SomethingOriginal2 · 28/12/2022 20:46

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 19:06

youd be fine with your father in law walking around your house in just his pants? Maybe with the odd testicle falling out as he walks down the stairs?

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She's not in her underwear though, she doesn't have her genitals out. She has her legs and belly out. If a man feels uncomfortable with a child's legs and belly on view then I'd feel very uncomfortable around him.

susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 20:48

Interesting that OP hasn't been back......

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 20:50

AbreathofFrenchair · 28/12/2022 20:13

I am not wrong just because I dont agree with you.

Your hang ups with the human body and fashion doesnt mean you are the leading authority on what is right and wrong.

Why does your feeling uncomfortable le mean you get to dictate how others should be dressed? You can not like it but you dont get to tell them how they can and cant dress.

If any Male came to me and said they were uncomfortable with how my teen was dressing and they couldn't help but stare at them, then they wouldn't be in the company of my teen again until they learned how to act appropriately and stop sexualising that teen in their head.

You must be permanently exhausted telling everyone you meet whose clothing is tight or fitted that their clothing is unacceptable and makes you feel uncomfortable and insisting they moderate so as not to offend you

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You are wrong because you’ve commented that people wouldn’t moan if it was their sons, when I and other posters have said the opposite.

Also no one said they can dictate anything, again showing an inability to understand the comments others are making on this thread.

Also no one said the step dad couldn’t help but stare, that’s something you’ve made up to be outraged over. People can have opinions and not voice them, if someone was repeatedly coming to my home and making me uncomfortable however for any reason I would raise it, not strangers etc.

gogohmm · 28/12/2022 20:50

I am with you op. The shorts are fine for exercise but not for normal wear in my opinion. My dd has some but only uses them for running. Her ridiculously tight around the bum leggings are only for gym wear too, she's an adult

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 20:51

SomethingOriginal2 · 28/12/2022 20:46

She's not in her underwear though, she doesn't have her genitals out. She has her legs and belly out. If a man feels uncomfortable with a child's legs and belly on view then I'd feel very uncomfortable around him.

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Never said she was in underwear, that poster said it’s fine because it’s just body parts after all. Hence the question about whether that applies to male body parts.

Reading the comment chain is helpful

Ericaequites · 28/12/2022 20:53

You are the parent. Your daughter is your child. I assume you pay for her clothes and makeup.at 14. You can forbid her to wear tiny body con clothes. Your stepfather may have perceived her outfit as lingerie, so was very uncomfortable. You can tell her to dress decently when visiting relatives, or punishment will ensue. She doesn’t have to have non uniform clothes, and could wear school uniform to social events. My mother and many other vintage and modern mothers have done this. Take back your power.

Scarfweather · 28/12/2022 20:57

Good grief, the step dad is not being a creepy misogynist, he’s from a different generation that finds seeing so much of a woman/girls body on display embarrassing (to him), so he ‘doesn’t know where to look’. He will likely see it as ‘good manners’ to look away.

I despair of those people on here who seem to be making this ‘creepy’. You’re projecting.
Not saying he’s ‘correct’ - the teen should be fine to wear what she likes in this day and age - but there is obviously a generational difference causing this issue, not purposeful misogyny or worse.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2022 20:59

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 20:39

Especially if he was fat ay

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You’ve totally lost me now. I assume nothing you have said has been meant and that you’re just on a wind up.

SomethingOriginal2 · 28/12/2022 21:01

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 20:51

Never said she was in underwear, that poster said it’s fine because it’s just body parts after all. Hence the question about whether that applies to male body parts.

Reading the comment chain is helpful

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Yeah but using your common sense is also helpful. A bloke walking round with his bollocks out is a lot different to a child showing their legs.

susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 21:01

She doesn’t have to have non uniform clothes, and could wear school uniform to social events.

Is this serious? I genuinely can't tell anymore 😂

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2022 21:05

yes, too many jokers and wokers on the thread so I’m going to leave it.

Eyerollcentral · 28/12/2022 21:12

There is an element of misogyny in the area of the current teenage girl fashion for wearing skin tight barely there athleisure wear. The point that many are missing is that skin tight barely there clothing isn’t fashionable or prevalent for teenage boys. It is ONLY for sale for women. Teenage girls are just wearing the clothes that are in fashion for them - they are being produced for sale for teen girls specifically as skin tight barely there items by adults. I find it incomprehensible that so many of you don’t have a problem with this. Of course the male gaze isn’t any woman’s problem, but teen girls do not understand that?

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 21:13

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2022 20:59

You’ve totally lost me now. I assume nothing you have said has been meant and that you’re just on a wind up.

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Its not hard to lose you 🙄

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 21:15

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2022 21:05

yes, too many jokers and wokers on the thread so I’m going to leave it.

Yes, leave us to have a coherent discussion there’s a dear ‘jokers and wokers’ indeed, we are honoured you put the Daily Mail down long enough to type out this drivel.

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 21:17

Eyerollcentral · 28/12/2022 21:12

There is an element of misogyny in the area of the current teenage girl fashion for wearing skin tight barely there athleisure wear. The point that many are missing is that skin tight barely there clothing isn’t fashionable or prevalent for teenage boys. It is ONLY for sale for women. Teenage girls are just wearing the clothes that are in fashion for them - they are being produced for sale for teen girls specifically as skin tight barely there items by adults. I find it incomprehensible that so many of you don’t have a problem with this. Of course the male gaze isn’t any woman’s problem, but teen girls do not understand that?

It is an interesting point, I wouldn’t say it applies to Nike pros per se as they are for running they’ve just been popularised for everyday wear but that’s not to say what you say has no merit 🤔

CockwombleOfWimbledonIsCommon · 28/12/2022 21:19

I'm pissed

I'm not, but I wish I were @Gabzz212