Teenagers outfits!!!

[Gabzz212]

So am I being unreasonable to be sick to the back teeth of my 14 year old outfit choices now. Just spoke to her after she has been to town with her friend to buy 'an outfit'. Asked her please buy something appropriate for the weather she also knows I don't like stuff too revealing anyways she has been and bought some £30 nike pro shorts and a hoodie. I'm pissed. I was supposed to take her trusted her on her own and this is what she buys? All the time we are arguing over her outfits she wears sports bras as tops and always has tiny short, tiny crop tops on and big lashes. I'm sick of it I feel like she has no respect for herself and really don't understand why she always wants to have so much on show. I think she's too young and it also sends out the wrong message. My stepfather actually said to my mum after we had been for a visit last week that he didn't even feel like speaking to her as he didn't know wear to look and felt quite uncomfortable. I try and explain its not good to dress this way all the time but get nowhere. AIBU to feel quite upset and stressed over this situation?

so true. You've just got to let this one go I'm afraid.

Yes @Bicurator but I’d be interested in the quantities Nike were producing for teen sizes before this trend took off, I don’t think it’s due to an explosion of interest in junior park run!!!

It would be interesting, I did first start seeing them at sports day but there again that’s not even athletics

I find it really odd that your step dad doesn't know where to look. She is a child FFS , nasty horrible fucker.

Everyone is in agreement that 14 is a CHILD

That's what they wear. They get through this phase. The more you object, the more she'll be inclined to rebel...

Most of them are saying that stepdad shouldn’t sexualise a CHILD

So when do you stop dictating what they wear?

16? 18? After they leave home?

I had my clothing dictated for a long time, probably until I stopped going home after uni. Even now I get “you can’t go out in that”.

It stopped me fitting in socially, when everyone’s in Nike shorts and a hoodie and you’re in what your mum deems appropriate, probably m&s jeans and some sort of top no one else would be seen dead in.

it also affected my confidence, I’d put on something I thought looked nice, only to be made to get changed for whatever reason. I have no idea what suits me now and take no pleasure or pride in my appearance for fear of getting it “wrong”.

my kids have chosen their own clothes as soon as they were able. They’re adults now and yes, occasionally they look like they’ll freeze, but they are super confident and never look less than amazing because of that.

@SeasonsGreeeeetings I’m curious - what would your response be to a 16 or 17yo going out in an outfit that you deemed inappropriate but one that she (and her peer group) loves and chooses?

How many teenagers do you have? Good luck with your theoretical parenting of them. Come back in a few years and tell us how it goes!

Tell me why you think a better parent is the one that dictates their child clothes and forbids fashion and makes sure they dress to make adult men feel comfortable, rather than the parents who let their child have a choice in clothing, teaches them that how they dress doesn't make them responsible for adults inappropriate behaviour towards them and also has a word with the adult males who admit they can't help but look at their bodies, that actually, they need to look at their behaviour and attitude?

Ironically my own teens are always appropriately dressed, makes their own clothing decisions, have no body shame or feelings of guilt about their bodies and know that they are not responsible for adults inappropriate feelings towards them. The male teen regularly pulls up his friends inappropriate comments towards other girls and his sister and her friends tell them too, they darent utter any disrespectful words under my roof towards any female and they do that because of how I have parented them. Incidentally our house is always the one where the girls get changed because their parents wont let them wear skirts, shorts, leggings or vest tops or anything else they decide sends out the wrong message. Of course I tell the parents what they have gone out wearing and encourage the girls to have these conversations but their parents are convinced their child would never do that because of how strict they are.

The boys also come from strict households and they turn to the internet to see how men behave and follow their mysoginistic Fathers too and mothers that endorse that behaviour. One is permanently banned from my house because he and older brother and Dad think Andrew Tate has the exact right attitude towards women and that people who want him gone are woke snowflakes.

They push boundaries, of course they do but I'm that a good parent that I am always one step ahead and they win the battles I choose without them knowing.

But according to a few on here, I'm trying to hard to be a friend, I'm not a good enough parent, I'm abusive, I let abusive behaviours happen because I don't report teen girls in shorts to social services, I'm bold and I'm a drunk and whatever else desperate insults people are choosing to hurl at me.

But please, continue to tell me how much I'm failing 🤣

And, or maybe its just me, part of parenting is preventing your child from the potential sexually inappropriate behaviour of adults. To me that is telling the adult to check their own behaviour and keeping an on eye on them, not shaming a teen for their clothing choice and putting the responsibility of fully functioning grown adults behaviour on their shoulders.

Why is everyone shit scared of addressing and raising this type of behaviour? Or do you all find it easier to berate a child rather than calling an adult out for inappropriate behaviour? You certainly dont hesitate to label everyone else a bad parent or a drunk

I'm afraid reading many threads on parenting teens doesn't make you a better parent than actual parents of real life teens.

Of course it's acceptable to let teens dress how they please and to fit in with their friends. What you don't see and what you have no experience of and what the most important thing is, is what goes on in the background and behind the scenes and many battles are fought and won by parents, with teens winning a selected few

Incredible how you've declared yourself an authority on teens and that everyone who lets their child wear shorts are bad parents, all from a few teen forum posts and either having no children or a toddler.

Everyone thinks they are the better parent of a stage of childhood of which they have no experience but only a disillusioned few are arrogant enough to say it out loud and believe it.

Do all those “I would not allow it take back the power” posters actually have fashion conscious 14 year old girls? Because it’s really not that easy. You would risk trashing your relationship with them and crushing their emerging self confidence over sodding clothes? They will likely remember how you behave on this for the rest of their lives probably. Worth it?

Most of us emotionally intelligent parents of teenage girls don’t do this not because we are “cool mums” but because we pick our battles and this really isn’t worth it.

Agree with everything Abreathe has posted. Frankly if you haven’t been through it you don’t get it so no point posting.

Nothing worse than someone telling a parent of teens how to parent teens when they have no experience of teens and then expect their opinions to be considered because they've read a teen forum.

You'll understand when and if you get there

I guarantee they are either not parents or are parents of generally compliant 3 year olds.

Always easier to theoretically parent than actually parent

Honestly I am in a large friendship group various parenting styles all of us have teen girls and none of us come down hard on clothes. Keeping lines of communication open and relations warm way way more important.