Page 8 | Teenagers outfits!!!

Gabzz212 · 2022-12-28T18:15:48+00:00

So am I being unreasonable to be sick to the back teeth of my 14 year old outfit choices now. Just spoke to her after she has been to town with her friend to buy 'an outfit'. Asked her please buy something appropriate for the weather she also knows I don't like stuff too revealing anyways she has been and bought some £30 nike pro shorts and a hoodie. I'm pissed. I was supposed to take her trusted her on her own and this is what she buys? All the time we are arguing over her outfits she wears sports bras as tops and always has tiny short, tiny crop tops on and big lashes. I'm sick of it I feel like she has no respect for herself and really don't understand why she always wants to have so much on show. I think she's too young and it also sends out the wrong message. My stepfather actually said to my mum after we had been for a visit last week that he didn't even feel like speaking to her as he didn't know wear to look and felt quite uncomfortable. I try and explain its not good to dress this way all the time but get nowhere. AIBU to feel quite upset and stressed over this situation?

AbreathofFrenchair · 28/12/2022 20:03

refuge123 · 28/12/2022 19:59

Ok. Who are you? You have been quite bold and.. obnoxious. You sound like you have been drinking?
I would be concerned about the child. And parents have a responsibility for their wellbeing.
Why let someone youre responsible for make decisions that will harm their wellbeing?!

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Bold? Obnoxious? Sounds like I've been drinking?

All because I don't agree with you?

Are you always this dramatic? I guess you are as you think a teen going out in shorts and a hoody requires social services intervention.

Lulu1919 · 28/12/2022 20:03

I was thinking like if we were having a beach day or in our holiday home where ...never mind I'm obviously in the minority !

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/12/2022 20:04

refuge123 · 28/12/2022 19:14

I think you should buy her clothes for her from now on but give her a choice. Like which jumper in this price range etc and you buy it

That won’t go well. I have a 14 yo dd.

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 20:04

AbreathofFrenchair · 28/12/2022 19:59

Weird leaps? How so? It's literally all there in the OP, lots of others have read it the same as me.

It all boils down to dated mysoginistic behaviour where females continually have to adjust and where we expect teen girls to carry the responsibility and to manage grown adult mens feelings.

You need to be asking yourself why teen girls dressed in shorts and hoodies or a crop top makes you uncomfortable but a boy in shorts and a hoody wouldn't?

Theres a world of difference between comparing it to teens in underwear to teens being dressed and you cannot distinguish between the two. Asking someone to cover up who is naked is acceptable, asking someone to cover up who wearing underwear is acceptable, asking someone to cover up because a grown man can't help but look at them is not acceptable. Someone needs talking to and and it's not the person who is dressed.

But tell me more how wrong I am and how right you are to defend this behaviour

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You are wrong, repeatedly so.

Also I’ve clearly said a boy in tight or revealing shorts would also be an issue for me, so again showing you’re either unable to read or understand basic sentences on here.

Again it’s not just adult mens feelings, I and other female posters have also said we find it uncomfortable when young women are dressed in a way that’s so revealing.

You seem to be putting your fingers in your ears and saying lalalala to keep up the view that this is purely a male on female issue. It’s not.

Many women would find this a bit gross, and many women would also feel the same if it was a man or their teen son wearing clothing that showed a lot of flesh.

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 20:04

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 19:59

I mentioned them once, someone commented on that and I replied to reiterate the issue is what’s revealed not the item of clothing.

Hardly obsessed, fixated or anything else.

You really are pretty dense

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I ‘densely’ await your apology

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 20:05

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 20:04

I ‘densely’ await your apology

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Apology for what?

goodness me you really are an oddball

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 20:06

refuge123 · 28/12/2022 19:59

Ok. Who are you? You have been quite bold and.. obnoxious. You sound like you have been drinking?
I would be concerned about the child. And parents have a responsibility for their wellbeing.
Why let someone youre responsible for make decisions that will harm their wellbeing?!

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So much wrongness in one post.

Kitcaterpillar · 28/12/2022 20:06

Perhaps your stepdad could look at her face.

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 20:07

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 20:05

Apology for what?

goodness me you really are an oddball

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🤣 Ohhh, a nudey dense oddball.

susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 20:08

Kitcaterpillar · 28/12/2022 20:06

Perhaps your stepdad could look at her face.

Would solve a lot of problems wouldnt it.

refuge123 · 28/12/2022 20:08

AbreathofFrenchair · 28/12/2022 20:03

Bold? Obnoxious? Sounds like I've been drinking?

All because I don't agree with you?

Are you always this dramatic? I guess you are as you think a teen going out in shorts and a hoody requires social services intervention.

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I've seen the tone and words youve used to speak to people including me. Its been quite disrespectful.
I'm surprised you wouldnt report a teenager wearing little clothes in cold/minus temps if you saw it.
Not wearing adequate layers can make you feel ill.
You are bold to imply that fashion is more important

pandwa · 28/12/2022 20:11

I think the point is that young girls are dressing a lot 'older' these days... my dsd and niece barely wear anything at 13, tiny crop tops and shorts, it is the fashion though and it won't be changed anytime soon

Duchess379 · 28/12/2022 20:12

susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 19:24

This made me laugh because this is essentially what my DD (16) lives in when she's in the house because she's "cold"... She then changes into her crop top and leggings to go out in -1 temperatures 🤷‍♀️🤣

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I have absolutely nothing against onesies but I know as a teenager I would go out in barely there skirts & crop tops. I now wear trakkie bottoms, t shirts & Adidas trainers 😆

constantsky · 28/12/2022 20:12

Your stepdad sounds like a creepy bastard

susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 20:12

I'm surprised you wouldnt report a teenager wearing little clothes in cold/minus temps if you saw it.

I'd report a^^ toddler or young child being taken out in shorts and t shirt in minus 1 and appearing to be cold and uncomfortable. Because the toddler has no choice in the matter and is wholly dependent on their caregiver to make appropriate choices for them. They do not have the cognitive capacity to make their own decisions and understand and learn about the consequences of those decisions.

However, If I saw teen dressed that way I'd assume they made their own decision to dress that way and that they have the free will and means to go home and get a coat if they realise their mum was in fact right and it's bloody freezing after all.

Worlds apart. Not sure why you can't see that.

WatchoRulo · 28/12/2022 20:12

BorisJohnsonsHair · 28/12/2022 18:36

Why were you pissed? Maybe once you've sobered up you'll think differently.

😁😂

AbreathofFrenchair · 28/12/2022 20:13

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 20:04

You are wrong, repeatedly so.

Also I’ve clearly said a boy in tight or revealing shorts would also be an issue for me, so again showing you’re either unable to read or understand basic sentences on here.

Again it’s not just adult mens feelings, I and other female posters have also said we find it uncomfortable when young women are dressed in a way that’s so revealing.

You seem to be putting your fingers in your ears and saying lalalala to keep up the view that this is purely a male on female issue. It’s not.

Many women would find this a bit gross, and many women would also feel the same if it was a man or their teen son wearing clothing that showed a lot of flesh.

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I am not wrong just because I dont agree with you.

Your hang ups with the human body and fashion doesnt mean you are the leading authority on what is right and wrong.

Why does your feeling uncomfortable le mean you get to dictate how others should be dressed? You can not like it but you dont get to tell them how they can and cant dress.

If any Male came to me and said they were uncomfortable with how my teen was dressing and they couldn't help but stare at them, then they wouldn't be in the company of my teen again until they learned how to act appropriately and stop sexualising that teen in their head.

You must be permanently exhausted telling everyone you meet whose clothing is tight or fitted that their clothing is unacceptable and makes you feel uncomfortable and insisting they moderate so as not to offend you

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 20:14

refuge123 · 28/12/2022 20:08

I've seen the tone and words youve used to speak to people including me. Its been quite disrespectful.
I'm surprised you wouldnt report a teenager wearing little clothes in cold/minus temps if you saw it.
Not wearing adequate layers can make you feel ill.
You are bold to imply that fashion is more important

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I think it’s because it’s hard not to be derisory about what you are saying on this occasion, I genuinely thought you were taking the piss at first! Claiming people are drunk is pretty desperate

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/12/2022 20:15

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2022 19:25

Oh don’t be so ridiculous, if he strutted round naked you’d be on here complaining that it wasn’t appropriate in front of your daughter and he must be getting a kick out of it.

such double standards on here.

Teenagers HAVEN’T always worn very revealing clothing, no matter what some of you try to make out. Did you see what we wore in the 80s in our mid teens?! 😆

the 90s was quite good for teens. Grunge was good for being a bit rebellious but it wasn’t about showing as much surface area of your body as possible.

I had to look up what Nike pros were and nearly fell off my chair laughing when pictures of what looks like trunks from the men’s underwear department came up. I mean, if they think they look good in that then that’s up to them but I’d just be laughing inside thinking “what are you wearing your dad’s trunks for?”

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In the 80s and in my mid teens I wore incredibly short skirts.

zurala · 28/12/2022 20:16

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 19:59

Your poor DD, not having clothes banned that is your wont as a parent but what a terrible message to be feeding the next generation, beyond depressing. ‘Men can’t control themselves so you must police what you wear’ Just dreadful.

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Yes it's shit isn't it, living in a patriarchy with women's rights being continually undermined. That's why I'm a feminist and discuss this stuff with DD. I'm ever hopeful that we can change things.
But really, it's not that she can't wear that stuff, just not at 13. It's not appropriate while she's so young. She didn't see it as underwear, just as a pretty top. I hate having to explain stuff like that to her but it's important she understands, especially as she is autistic and therefore more vulnerable.

AbreathofFrenchair · 28/12/2022 20:17

refuge123 · 28/12/2022 20:08

I've seen the tone and words youve used to speak to people including me. Its been quite disrespectful.
I'm surprised you wouldnt report a teenager wearing little clothes in cold/minus temps if you saw it.
Not wearing adequate layers can make you feel ill.
You are bold to imply that fashion is more important

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Seriously? What exactly do you think social services would do if I phoned up and said I had a concern because a teenager has just walked past my house wearing shorts?!

I mean come on, you cannot seriously think they would take the call seriously?!

I haven't implied fashion is more important (more important than what?) You seem to have made that part up yourself to fit your narrative, however it is more important to the teens that follow it and they definitely dont all dress for weather conditions.

Do you expect social services to have an inappropriate fashion department?!

Echobelly · 28/12/2022 20:18

YABU. Pick your battles, this isn't one worth having; she's not dressing any different than 1000s of other teenage girls. Tbh even if she weren't I still think teenagers and clothes is never worth arguments. If they're trying to get a reaction 'You look nice dear' and be done with it!

Bicurator · 28/12/2022 20:19

zurala · 28/12/2022 20:16

Yes it's shit isn't it, living in a patriarchy with women's rights being continually undermined. That's why I'm a feminist and discuss this stuff with DD. I'm ever hopeful that we can change things.
But really, it's not that she can't wear that stuff, just not at 13. It's not appropriate while she's so young. She didn't see it as underwear, just as a pretty top. I hate having to explain stuff like that to her but it's important she understands, especially as she is autistic and therefore more vulnerable.

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Where would she go wearing it had she been allowed?

Paslaptis · 28/12/2022 20:26

The outfit you've described sounds sporty and comfortable/flexible rather than sexy and revealing. But if you'd sent her to buy an outfit to wear to a church wedding or to visit her great gran in the nursing home (for example), I understand why you'd feel she didn't make a good choice!

Are the two of you not clearly communicating the purpose of what she's buying - e.g., you think she needs warm clothes for outdoors/around the neighbourhood on winter weekends and she thinks she needs workout/gym/beach wear? In future, could the two of you maybe do some browsing together online for the kind of outfits she's looking for, so you can see if you're in agreement and maybe compromise if not? (I'm assuming you're paying for the clothing; if she is then I'd give her the choice.) Also not sure the lashes are a warmth issue - although I did see a woman wearing false eyelashes made out of fur the other day, and they looked very cosy!

Your stepfather's comments are weird and gross; don't project his issues onto your daughter.

Mocara · 28/12/2022 20:30

The majority of you sound like bloody imature teenagers arguing , know wonder you dont know how to parent a 14 yr old CHIld !

Saying any old crap just to have the last word and look like your a cool friend to your child and not a parent !
Congratulations to the handful of parents on here who dont parent with a sheep mentality your children are the lucky ones 👏👏👏