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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wont stop asking!

852 replies

Castleontheisland · 28/12/2022 05:05

Name changed for this as my other threads are quite outing. Sorry its long!

Me and partner are away for a few days over Christmas, our next door neighbour has a spare key for our house for emergencies (we have their spare house key as well). We are not close friends just normal neighbours, They have had family visiting over Christmas/new year. On boxing day they text me and asked if some of their family could sleep in our home as more of the family had arrive unexpectedly! We said no because beds need changing and heating not on etc.(also I dont want strangers in my home)Well since then we have had text after text asking over and over again! I have also repeatedly tried to ring them but they are not picking up! The last one was very late last night (I was already in bed asleep)asking again and saying the family who they want to stay's car has broken down! I feel like packing up here and going home now as so worried they will just use my house anyway! I dont have any friends or family nearby who can check on my home. My partner has said they surely wont just use our house but I'm not sure they wont. 😥

OP posts:
Ostagazuzulum · 28/12/2022 07:32

What about sending them a message saying that their persistent requests have made you feel uncomfortable, you're concerned that they may have allowed their friends to stay and it's ruining your holiday and that you feel you have no choice but to cut holiday short (even if you're not) and you're on way home and tell them you're about 45-60 mins away on whatever motorway is nearest. If they are staying I would say that they'll panic and leave very quickly.

astralpiano · 28/12/2022 07:32

Coffeetree · 28/12/2022 06:41

I would be tempted to mess with them by texting: "Our security cameras are showing an intruder. Have you noticed anything?"

Thats a good idea.

RealBecca · 28/12/2022 07:32

Get a friend to check and if there is someone then say nothing and send the police round.

Lsquiggles · 28/12/2022 07:32

The repeated asking would make me think they've already done it and are hoping you'll cave and say yes so they can cover their tracks when you come home. I'd go home, I wouldn't trust them with the key and wouldn't be able to relax.

astralpiano · 28/12/2022 07:33

They've already used it.

Go home now without telling them and get your key back.

Neighbourly relations are soured forever now

astralpiano · 28/12/2022 07:33

RealBecca · 28/12/2022 07:32

Get a friend to check and if there is someone then say nothing and send the police round.

I'm not sure the police will help if they have a key

swapcicles · 28/12/2022 07:34

Do you have an Alexa or similar? If so drop in and have a listen.
Could always shout "I can see you" !

FOJN · 28/12/2022 07:36

I'd have to go home to make sure they weren't letting strangers stay in my house. I wouldn't be afraid of the confrontation either so I would not warn them I was on my way. If I got there and saw signs of activity in my house I might think about calling the police.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 28/12/2022 07:36

swapcicles · 28/12/2022 07:34

Do you have an Alexa or similar? If so drop in and have a listen.
Could always shout "I can see you" !

I didn't realise you could do this!!

Billslills · 28/12/2022 07:37

I don't think you should ruin your holiday over this. I pray they have not been so rude and disrespectful to have ignored your wishes and trespassed onto your property but I wouldn't lie and say you're on your way home unless you are.

Do you not have a friend or even a colleague who can go and collect the key from them (and confirm no one is there)?

Overthebow · 28/12/2022 07:37

Yep they’re already using it and now trying to get your permission to cover their tracks.

Lavender14 · 28/12/2022 07:38

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 28/12/2022 05:14

Tell them you’re going to be back earlier than planned. And then if they ask why you weren’t say you had a change of plan. I would be furious if they went into my home

I'd second this

vvvvb · 28/12/2022 07:39

If I could get home now I would but without telling them (if there is nobody trustworthy closer than you are now that you could ask)

I would recommend a ring doorbell and other ring security spotlights/cameras around your home and garden asap

That way you can check the house and garden are secure and not being used by your CF neighbours

No idea what the insurance rules would be if you give a key to neighbour for emergency (and they abuse that trust) but then something happens to or within the house while you are away

Does anyone know the insurance rules?

Swannning · 28/12/2022 07:39

God what shitty neighbours you have OP. I second giving the vague area and I'm sure a nosy MNer would do a drive by for you

namechangedforthis9 · 28/12/2022 07:39

So rude to even ask!

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 28/12/2022 07:40

Wow I can't believe the cheek of your neighbours!
I agree with others they're already using it, I wouldn't be able to relax I'd either send someone round or head home to check and I'd definitely be confronting them if they were in my house.
Absolute CF's

DurdleSnore · 28/12/2022 07:42

This is mad. We are on really good terms with our neighbours but I’d never dream of asking to use their house when they are away!! Their parking space at most. I’d come home early and definitely be asking for the keys back.

SinisterIslandRoundabout · 28/12/2022 07:44

CFs! Like many pp have said, I think they’ve stayed there already and trying to get ‘retrospective’ acceptance from you.

Apart from anything else, would your insurance still be valid if anything happened whilst (if) fandoms are in your house without your permission?

Wishing the a good outcome with this but I suspect this will put a massive strain on your relationship with your neighbours and it’s all their fault, not yours.

Ivyonafence · 28/12/2022 07:45

Don't ruin your holiday over this.

Tell them you are coming home early. Then stay away as long as you planned.

They'll have to stay away/clear out in anticipation of you.

Change the locks when you get back.

Ivyonafence · 28/12/2022 07:46

Also I wouldn't give a spare key to a neighbour I wasn't also good friends with.

Is this common behaviour in some areas?

IhearyouClemFandango · 28/12/2022 07:47

Is there anyone you can send round?

MrsMitford3 · 28/12/2022 07:50

Also to be perfectly honest I'd probably change the locks.

If they are this cheeky they may have made a spare!

And they are def already using your house

HotChoxs · 28/12/2022 07:51

Do people really do these kinds of things? Unbelievable.

Climbles · 28/12/2022 07:58

They are already using it. Absolute CFery. You need to send them a very stern message saying if anyone has entered your home without your consent it will be a police matter.

Ivyonafence · 28/12/2022 07:58

You could get an Airtasker to swing by if you really need to know

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