Wont stop asking!

[Castleontheisland]

Name changed for this as my other threads are quite outing. Sorry its long!

Me and partner are away for a few days over Christmas, our next door neighbour has a spare key for our house for emergencies (we have their spare house key as well). We are not close friends just normal neighbours, They have had family visiting over Christmas/new year. On boxing day they text me and asked if some of their family could sleep in our home as more of the family had arrive unexpectedly! We said no because beds need changing and heating not on etc.(also I dont want strangers in my home)Well since then we have had text after text asking over and over again! I have also repeatedly tried to ring them but they are not picking up! The last one was very late last night (I was already in bed asleep)asking again and saying the family who they want to stay's car has broken down! I feel like packing up here and going home now as so worried they will just use my house anyway! I dont have any friends or family nearby who can check on my home. My partner has said they surely wont just use our house but I'm not sure they wont. 😥

@Ivyonafence great idea, for the sake of £20 you can buy yourself some peace of mind.
I totally agree with everyone else that the relationship is now lost though, time for a key change and don't be nervous to let them know they crossed a line.

Send them a message saying it was really rude of them to bombard you with texts when you said no the first time and to then not answer your calls. Then finish with: If we find out that any of your family have be inside our home against our wishes and without our permission we will be furious and there will be consequences. And we WILL find out.

Having a key doesnt grant permission for free entry, especially if the key wasnt given to the person in the house by the owner.

HotChox, definitely! When I lived in a shared house, I came back from being away to find my room and bathroom had been offered to a house mate's friends. They'd slept in my bed and there were condoms in the bin. Housemate had miscalculated my return time as it was an overnight flight from a different time zone. They were all eating breakfast when I came home, jetlagged and just wanting to get into my bed -it was awful.

They haven't got the resources to be investigating crimes like this though

This is madness!
How long left of your holiday?

I would be absolutely apoplectic over this and would probably have been on my way home at 1am to catch them snoring as I too believe they are already in there, permission or no.
I would be demanding the cost of intensive cleaning and new mattresses for the beds.
My sister's home ended up infested with bedbugs when her son's friend stayed there for a few days unbeknownst to her (the pest company reckoned the bugs had come in in the guys luggage, he had been travelling prior).
Bad enough if you unknowingly infested your own house but to receive the little guests from random uninvited stranger!

I don't think you should ruin your holiday over this.

The holiday is already ruined because OP is worrying that there are strangers in her home.

I wouldn't be able to relax - I'd have to go back.

And if there is someone in there I'd raise absolute hell, chuck them out and refuse to return any belongings until I'd been compensated for the holiday time I'd lost - or if this wasn't an option, throw all of their stuff into the street - loudly!

I'd get my key back, but change the locks anyway. I wouldn't return the neighbours' key immediately - I'd tell them that every time they went out I'd be entering their home and lying on their beds, the cheeky tw*ts, so they had to change their locks, too.

Did you turn off water and electrics OP?

CF yeah, but my experiences of shared houses always hade some strange things like this happening. Not to minimise but a neighbour acting like this is on a whole other level, never heard of anything like this before. Just nutty.

Don’t do this! Vague threats are pointless unless you’re actually in the Mafia and able to carry out ‘consequences’, otherwise what are you realistically going to do? Put weed killer in their flowerbeds? Not put their bins in when they’re on holiday? Keep any Amazon parcels you have to sign for? There’s nothing you really can do except make sure they can’t do it again by removing the key or changing the locks.

Do you have any other neighbours nearby you could message to check your house. As you’re worried because you’re away?

Send a taxi round, get the driver to knock on the door and tell you if anyone answers.

What cheeky fuckers
Is there anyone local you could send round to check they're not in there?

I would be demanding the cost of intensive cleaning and new mattresses for the beds.

Oh, Lord, Yes! The mattresses! And all the sheets and towels will need washing . . .

How disgusting - and I know that we "share" mattresses with strangers every time we go on holiday, but that is qualitatively different.

You really do need to check this, or rather get someone else to check this out for you. If there's anyone within a 10mile radius of your house I'm sure they'd do a drive by for you, I know I would. Their persistence really does make it sound like they are asking retrospectively.

I'm inclined to agree that your home is already being used.

I'd be returning earlier than planned.

Depending on how far away you are could a friend or relative pop by unannounced and knock on your front door? Ideally early before they've had a chance to get back out

That way if the house seems genuinely empty or not they can report back and you can decide from there whether you need to leave your holiday.

Same friend / relative can then knock at the neighbours door (regardless of whether they think someone is in, and ask for your key.
Depending on how you want to approach things they can either make up a reason for needing it "they've asked me to call in to check xyz / pick up my kids gift as we didn't see each other before Christmas, said you had a key!" Or honest and say "they aren't comfortable with the repeated requests to use their home so have asked me to mind their key" - you should message the neighbour to let them know it's happening before friend/relative gets there!

Whatever you choose I'd be texting to say "we have said no we are not ok with your guests using our home. Please do not keep asking as we are trying to enjoy our much needed break"

Is it the sign of a journalist to drop something in a thread and disappear?

They’re absolutely in your house. Can you ask another neighbour to look out? I’d go home today tbh and probably ring the police!

Texting you after you said no is out of order. If they have let people use your home, that is diabolical. You shouldn’t have to cut short your holiday but if it was me, I would want to get back if there was no other way of checking.

HotChox, don't worry, not feeling minimised at all. But those CF 20-something house sharers, which are plentiful, grow up and become someone's neighbour, entrusted with keys...
Such a breach of trust, OP.
And they're not picking up your calls because they don't want to get caught out actually lying to you directly in real time.

If this isn't a daily mail journalist (and that's a big if!) then I agree with pp that they have already allowed people into your house. They have entered your house without permission. I wouldn't be pussyfooting around this. I'd get back home ASAP and tell anyone in the house that they have 5 minutes to get the f out before you call the police.

The relationship with the neighbours is severed whatever you do. Don't rely on them for any favours. I would demand the key back but change the locks as well and I'd get CCTV around your house. Don't try and make excuses for your directness. Their rudeness has broken all trust. Make that clear to them. No other explanation needed. As above don't pussyfoot around it.

Thank you all for your kind support and advice it is much appreciated. I have text 4 times and I have also left a voicemail this morning. Still not picking up. My sisters husband is leaving work early today and picking my sister and my mum up and the 3 of them are going to check my house (its about 80 to 90 minutes drive away for them)

Yes they really need to do check this. I think also should be aware:

www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/bills/article-8910239/Is-OK-leave-spare-set-keys-neighbour-invalid-insurance.html

I can't believe these CF's. Awful.

I’d be going home first thing, you’ve no peace of mind now anyway.