Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wont stop asking!

852 replies

Castleontheisland · 28/12/2022 05:05

Name changed for this as my other threads are quite outing. Sorry its long!

Me and partner are away for a few days over Christmas, our next door neighbour has a spare key for our house for emergencies (we have their spare house key as well). We are not close friends just normal neighbours, They have had family visiting over Christmas/new year. On boxing day they text me and asked if some of their family could sleep in our home as more of the family had arrive unexpectedly! We said no because beds need changing and heating not on etc.(also I dont want strangers in my home)Well since then we have had text after text asking over and over again! I have also repeatedly tried to ring them but they are not picking up! The last one was very late last night (I was already in bed asleep)asking again and saying the family who they want to stay's car has broken down! I feel like packing up here and going home now as so worried they will just use my house anyway! I dont have any friends or family nearby who can check on my home. My partner has said they surely wont just use our house but I'm not sure they wont. 😥

OP posts:
Loafbeginsat60 · 28/12/2022 06:32

Wow that's so cheeky

I hope when you get home you don't find any hairs in your beds 🤢

LiarLiarKnickersAblaze · 28/12/2022 06:32

i have a neighbour who pushes boundaries like this but this takes the beef. She used my home for insta shoots to sell her clothes when feeding cat and lets her children play for a couple of hours to get out the house.

LiarLiarKnickersAblaze · 28/12/2022 06:33

*uses my home backdrop - some parts of my house appear in her insta.

NoelleSnowman · 28/12/2022 06:35

I imagine they keep asking because they’ve already done it. When you get home change the locks.

Brightblueskysunshine · 28/12/2022 06:39

I agree with coming early. Do something and get the key back. It seems like they are trying to use you. In recent times I have experienced that the world really takes advantage of our situation. It's shitty and sad .

Coffeetree · 28/12/2022 06:41

I would be tempted to mess with them by texting: "Our security cameras are showing an intruder. Have you noticed anything?"

theswoot · 28/12/2022 06:42

I get that you don’t want to start a fight with your neighbours because it could make things awkward, but I also don’t think it’s inappropriate to have taken a very firm “no, absolutely not” stance on this from the very first request, with no need to justify why.

I think that personally I would struggle to relax and would head home early and if there was so much as a throw cushion out of place be invoicing them for cleaning etc. I’d change the locks too and send them the bill for that. I would know if someone had been in my house, I’d just be able to tell.

FromEden · 28/12/2022 06:42

This is so ending up on the daily mail

Lesina · 28/12/2022 06:45

Can anyone on here check for you? Just a quick drive by and maybe door ring?

ShandaLear · 28/12/2022 06:47

That’s nuts. They’re completely overstepping boundaries (literally and figuratively) and if they did enter your house without you permission they are breaking the law by trespassing. This would completely stress me out too, OP. What CFs they are. You’ve been clear that you don’t want people in your house, and that is completely reasonable.

RambamThankyouMam · 28/12/2022 06:48

Edinburghmusing · 28/12/2022 06:21

Tell them that you’ve just discovered asbestos and it’s a health risk to enter

How would they have discovered asbestos from afar?

Edinburghmusing · 28/12/2022 06:52

@RambamThankyouMam results just came in from test before Xmas

and anyone who has been over the threshold of the house has to register and be tested

LlynTegid · 28/12/2022 06:53

You need once home to not have their keys any more and vice versa.

LolaMoon · 28/12/2022 06:53

jalopy · 28/12/2022 05:15

Yes, sounds like they are already using it.
It's time to take the key back permanently.

I wouldnt just ask for the key back, I'd change the locks. CFs like that may well have made a copy to give to their friends

Tubs11 · 28/12/2022 06:55

Do you have a smart meter, can you log in and check to see if your gas and electric has been used? Ours gets updated every 24hrs so hopefully yours is the same and you'll know if they've already stayed there.

VeganFromSveden · 28/12/2022 06:59

Change the locks.
the security you once felt from having a spare key with a neighbour has now been replaced by fear real or imagined, it makes no difference to the out come if you feel there is a chance of them entering your home.
I could not relax til I had changed the locks.
id also return their key to them, saying you no longer want that responsibility.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 28/12/2022 07:00

How far are you from home?

MeridianB · 28/12/2022 07:08

How awful!

I would bet good money on several members of their family waking up in your house about now. The persistent texts but refusing to answer the phone support this.

Ideally, send someone to check for you - even another neighbour?

Either way, I’d be getting my key back for good. Someone who thinks that this request and subsequent badgering was ok cannot be trusted.

bluebeach · 28/12/2022 07:11

It reminds me of the time I shared a house with two other young women. Our landlord called to check we’d be away over Christmas as he wanted to do some maintenance.
My housemate popped back on Boxing Day to find the landlord staying in the house with his whole family (wife, kids, MIL) sleeping in our rooms for the Christmas holidays.
He didn’t seem to even think it was a problem, and just like it was their holiday home.

Campervangirl · 28/12/2022 07:13

I also think they've already let their guests stay in your home.
They are cfs to ask in the first place, who does that?
To continually ask after you have said no suggests it's already happened and they're worried that you will notice things out of place / another neighbour will tell you (lights were on, there was some noise from your empty house)
I wouldn't go home, it's probably too late to stop it as it's already happened.
Get your key back when you get home

Kalasbyxor · 28/12/2022 07:20

As Tubs said, are you able to monitor energy use remotely?

It sounds as if your neighbour's extra friends did not really turn up 'unexpectedly'.

But on the other hand, it also sounds like in order to be able to use your house, your neighbour must have instructed their friends to literally touch nothing and not leave any trace of their illicit use of your home, which would either have made it clear to their friends that they were using it surreptitiously (making them look like assholes in their friends' eyes, surely?) or they were 'in on it' too.

I wonder about insurance, in case something has been damaged.

You poor thing. Honestly, give an indication of region and someone on here will check for you.

Eddielizzard · 28/12/2022 07:23

That is awful. I agree they've already done it. Depending on what you have planned, I'd come home early.

rainbowstardrops · 28/12/2022 07:23

When are you supposed to be back? I'd consider coming home early but that's obviously not ideal.

crossstitchingnana · 28/12/2022 07:28

Oh Op I would be stressed too.

Yabado · 28/12/2022 07:29

Personally I would call the neighbour and say your 30 mins away on your way home even if your not
at the very least she will be trying to get them out of the house quickly - which if it’s a few of them not easy to do and leave no evidence