Invoiced for Christmas stay

[Brightun]

I’ve already had a thread about SILs bitching that the roast I served (for 11 people) wasn’t piping hot. Now we’re home I’m a bit less cross about that but absolutely fuming about the invoice I’ve received!

The set up is a bit complicated. DH has 3 sisters. The venue was SIL2’s house but I cooked because she’s recovering from an injury.

Me, DH, x3 DC
SIL1, BIL1, 1DC
SIL2, BIL2
SIL3

We all stayed 23-26 December. We brought 2 joints of meat, a Christmas pudding, a Christmas cake, plenty of wine, beer, some gin and rum, some nice cheeses, kids snacks and drinks. There was one cafe lunch and one takeaway and we all paid for our own families. I paid for one top up shop of about £40. Everyone else paid for/brought similar things.

This morning SIL emailed an invoice (made on an invoice template from some software!) to DH and copied me in for £200 for “hospitality”! I understand that hosting 9 people is a lot but I hadn’t expected to be invoiced.

DH wants to pay it to shut her up. I want to ask her to itemise it and to prepare an invoice in return for the hours I spent cooking Christmas dinner.

If he pays her, divorce him! If this was us (and nothing would surprise me) DP would probably pay for a quiet life, except his life wouldn't be quiet at all because he'd have to listen to me banging on about the audacity of his sister and how he'd pandered to her FOREVERMORE🤣🤣

Ask for a copy of the supplier agreement, T&Cs and her price list.

Op why is yours more and why didn't she warn people.

Asked for a break down then respond back with your own bill i'e take off X for blah.

Pay the difference or state the difference and whether you need payment and leave it at that

Thanks @Brightun I needed a laugh this morning.

Email back your own invoice with one item on it: “Lol.”

Payment terms: due on delivery.

Over my dead body (died due to apoplectic rage) would my husband pay this.

So she is invoicing 11 people £40 each=£440 total-and you bought the meat, dessert and a top up shop? What exactly did you all eat on Christmas day?

Even if I could get over the CFness, the maths makes no sense either. I've hosted for 21 people one year (I was young and stupid) and it cost nowhere near that amount to do it.

Ignore it! She can’t force you to pay up for something you did even know about/agree to beforehand. If she still comes at you I would tell her to take me to court to recover the money, and let’s see how we get on when a judge hears this nonsense.

If she said £10 per head to cover utilities I’d understand that more, but £200 for “hospitality” without actually telling anyone about this before they came to the house, cooked, ate, etc is taking the mick.

Hubby may want a quiet life but this isn’t something you just pay up for a quiet life, it’s a CF move and if he pays her he is essentially telling her this is acceptable or normal to do this.

In terms of practical advice, I would tell your DH not to acknowledge it.

Then when she chases, (if she has the brass neck to do so), that’s the time to spell out your already considerable monetary contribution and that you also worked as the chef.

Can't you just ignore it?
Or if she persists, send an itemized bill for your food contributions and labour costs for cooking.

Some people are fucking batshit.

This is why I am glad I have no extended family.

If one of my kids pulled this on the others when they are grown and if I am still alive, I would go fucking crazy at them for being such a stupid arsehole.

Laugh at her and call her a twat.

Hmmmm real or not, this has Daily Fail written all over it.

Ignore the people telling you to 'charge' her £10ph for your work in the kitchen. Xmas Day = double time, worth at least £20ph.

I’d be telling DH that if he pays a penny you will never see his shitty sister again.

And mean it.

And never host or cook for these fuckers again. Why didn’t DH cook?

This thread was done a little while back.

Made the Daily Mail (obviously) so if that's what you're hoping for, you should've checked first OP.

so what are you going to do ?
the sensible thing would be ring her up and ask why say you brought plenty of food and £200 is excessive and you want to know how the figure she’s got to . Batshit and your dh needs to grow a backbone.

Is there a group WhatsApp? I would respond on there, saying that as you now seem to be splitting costs the fairest way is to do it there so everyone can be fairly reimbursed for their contributions.

I would bin it and tell her to politely go away
Also no christmas there in future , you provided food as did the others so what did it really cost her ? Surely no more than anyone else

And tell your dh to grow some balls

I mean this year myself and siblings gave our mum some money towards the xmas food etc but all agreed before hand and we bought nothing with us like food or drink as we split the cost beforehand

Let’s see it then

Having 11 people in the house would mean LESS heating would be needed, not more, a each person is effectively a walking mini radiator... And presumably stuff like the lights, oven and tv would have been on anyway.

Ok, showers would cost, but ffs, charging for that is beyond ridiculous, and £40 pp... She's clearly trying to make money from this, but it doesn't surprise me to much as it seems there are no depths some people will go with their stinginess.

If this is real..it's bonkers.

I'd ignore it and if pressed send her a £5 Amazon gift card as a goodwill gesture.

DH wants to pay then ignore her. He’ll never manage to cut her off tho.

Your DH needs to grow a spine, and he needs to itemise the cost of all the food that you paid for and cooked and take that off her "bill"
Is she VAT registered?

What have other family members said?

How old are your children? Unless they’re 20 somethings raiding the alcohol cupboard I can’t see how they’d have cost anything near £40 a head for what they’ve had.