Invoiced for Christmas stay

[Brightun]

I’ve already had a thread about SILs bitching that the roast I served (for 11 people) wasn’t piping hot. Now we’re home I’m a bit less cross about that but absolutely fuming about the invoice I’ve received!

The set up is a bit complicated. DH has 3 sisters. The venue was SIL2’s house but I cooked because she’s recovering from an injury.

Me, DH, x3 DC
SIL1, BIL1, 1DC
SIL2, BIL2
SIL3

We all stayed 23-26 December. We brought 2 joints of meat, a Christmas pudding, a Christmas cake, plenty of wine, beer, some gin and rum, some nice cheeses, kids snacks and drinks. There was one cafe lunch and one takeaway and we all paid for our own families. I paid for one top up shop of about £40. Everyone else paid for/brought similar things.

This morning SIL emailed an invoice (made on an invoice template from some software!) to DH and copied me in for £200 for “hospitality”! I understand that hosting 9 people is a lot but I hadn’t expected to be invoiced.

DH wants to pay it to shut her up. I want to ask her to itemise it and to prepare an invoice in return for the hours I spent cooking Christmas dinner.

The op has twins too. 😉

No way is this real

I can understand someone being pissed off and raising an invoice like this if they had nightmare guests who brought nothing, did nothing, and basically just ate them out of house and home whilst complaining all the time.

However, the OP brought food and did the cooking - the worst job. So there was no obvious reason to pull a stunt like this.

Was SIL2 bullied into hosting at hers by the rest of the family? I mean, if she was recovering from an injury, hosting is unlikely to have been something she really wanted to do. Does DH know more than he's let on, and that's why he's saying to just pay up?

I'd go back with details of what you brought and advise that you've already spent more than £200 so even.

Thanks troll hunters 🙄

sadly this is my real life.

DH wants to pay then ignore her. He’ll never manage to cut her off tho.

haven’t responded yet. Other SILs have received invoices too for £40 per person.

I would ask her to itemise

then when she sends it back I would take off £10 for every hour you spent cooking, £40 for the food you paid towards and perhaps pay the rest

indeed how about working out light and heat? Bet it won’t cost £200

Why is yours £200?

There are 5 of them so £40 per person also.

In our family because I host each year we split the cost of food but I still buy table gifts, crackers, provide alcohol etc. I would never dream of charging but we all agree that we chip in for food as its easier buying it on one shop rather than everyone bringing dishes.

Charging an amount for hospitality is awful, sounds like you contributed a lot as well as your time also. I would absolutely NOT pay and I would be really pissed off with DH if he wouldn't back me up over it.

Ignore the trolls!

was there any discussion before hand about an invoice type situation or everyone sticking in some money to help with the cost?

One joint of meat would be £40 so I'd say what OP contributed would be worth considerably more than £40!

Please be real. This is hilarious. Draft your own itemised invoice, make sure it comes to £200, and send it back.

Seriously, send her your invoice plus however much per hour for cooking/hosting. Cheeky cow, I’d be far too embarrassed to ever do this. It’s bonkers.

Very CF!

Prepare another invoice for all the meat, wine and other goodies you contributed (which, I assume, everyone shared), add in an hourly rate for the cooking effort. Ensure it adds up to at least £200.00 - say £220.00. and return it to her.

Tell her you're happy to skip the £20 she owes you because you had such a lovely time.

I would ask her how she has reached this figure.
You understand her gas and electric bill will be higher due to extra showers ect , but can't see how you had £40 worth each.

I would maybe suggest you book a meal for next year as it will be far less expensive and you won't have to spend your day cooking for someone who moans it was cold , a pub / hotel will be much less stressful. Or just stay at home.

This is a dick move on SIL part. I honestly don’t know how these people have the front. We hosted Christmas Day and boxing day and my parents brought a massive Gammon and the Turkey. We provided everything else and yes our electric bill was triple on Xmas Eve and Xmas day to what it is on other days. We didn’t ask for anything as happy to do it but my parents gave us money towards it anyway, which we didn’t expect but do appreciate. They appreciated us doing it all more than anything because they did it for us and the wider family for a lot of years and it’s too much.

Just ignore it and if she says anything mention all the stuff you took, itemise that and make it add to more than £40 and then tell her she owes you the difference cheeky cow 🐮

I assume they are worried about energy bills for 3 days x 11 people, but that is ridiculous.
Me, DH, x3 DC
SIL1, BIL1, 1DC
SIL2, BIL2 would have had some heating/lighting/TV/cooking regardless
SIL3

11 x 40 = £440.00
Have they really spent £146.00 a day on lecky and gas?
Chinny reckon.

It sounds like between the food/drink you took and the work you have done when you were there, you have more than contributed to the cost. I would just assume the invoice was a joke and email back a crying laughing emoji and say thanks for the stay. If she is serious I would remind her of your contributions, tell her she owes you the same amount so you are all even.
Families are crazy. I’m glad we don’t have to see many of ours. All of these huge Christmases seem like my idea of hell, so many end in arguments and tears.

these threads are just well.......????

This one will make the Mail

My ds is a chef. His boss offered him £400 to cook christmas day...

I'd do this, except have her owe you. Unbelievable, hope you don't spent Xmas together again

What extra expense did she actually have that this money covers? You bought the expensive meat, cheese and wines? What is she charging for?