Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Invoiced for Christmas stay

295 replies

Brightun · 27/12/2022 07:42

I’ve already had a thread about SILs bitching that the roast I served (for 11 people) wasn’t piping hot. Now we’re home I’m a bit less cross about that but absolutely fuming about the invoice I’ve received!

The set up is a bit complicated. DH has 3 sisters. The venue was SIL2’s house but I cooked because she’s recovering from an injury.

Me, DH, x3 DC
SIL1, BIL1, 1DC
SIL2, BIL2
SIL3

We all stayed 23-26 December. We brought 2 joints of meat, a Christmas pudding, a Christmas cake, plenty of wine, beer, some gin and rum, some nice cheeses, kids snacks and drinks. There was one cafe lunch and one takeaway and we all paid for our own families. I paid for one top up shop of about £40. Everyone else paid for/brought similar things.

This morning SIL emailed an invoice (made on an invoice template from some software!) to DH and copied me in for £200 for “hospitality”! I understand that hosting 9 people is a lot but I hadn’t expected to be invoiced.

DH wants to pay it to shut her up. I want to ask her to itemise it and to prepare an invoice in return for the hours I spent cooking Christmas dinner.

OP posts:
Puppers · 27/12/2022 18:12

I know you say you're not in independent contact with her but I'd make an exception here.

"SIL, I don't wish to fall out so I'm going to keep this brief. We contributed far, far in excess of £200 with all the food and drink we brought with us, additional shopping we purchased during our visit and of course the considerable time and effort I put into preparing Christmas dinner for everybody else. We won't be paying this invoice and I'm sure if you reflect on everything we provided/did you will agree that is more than fair"

And then tell DH if he spends family money on appeasing this lunatic it will create a serious issue between the two of you. I couldn't abide such a weak partner.

midsomermurderess · 27/12/2022 18:26

Ooh, the imaginary letters have started. What fun.

RampantIvy · 27/12/2022 18:49

Both letters sound perfect

LaughingCat · 27/12/2022 18:51

MinnieGirl · 27/12/2022 18:05

I would reply…
Very surprised to receive your invoice, especially as you hadn’t informed us we would be charged for our Christmas. However, as you insist, here’s my invoice. This is the food and drink we bought as our contribution to Christmas….. plus the food shop I did for you…. That comes to xxx amount. And the outstanding balance is the reduced rate I have charged you for my culinary skills. Normally I would charge extra with it being Christmas Day but as you are family… so that comes to £200….

And in future if you intend to charge for hosting us, please advise in advance so we can decline.
Kind regards OP

This! 👆.

Perfect response to this flagrant cheekiness! I mean, who the hell even thinks about doing this to family…? 🙄

Yay! It’s a MN first for me. I’m outraged on your behalf, OP.

AlwaysGoingBackwards · 27/12/2022 19:17

Another quality piece of journalism. Well done OP.

MrsBrandonspiano · 27/12/2022 19:17

I'd respond by saying that you are unable to pay an invoice without seeing a copy of the purchase order.

girlmom21 · 27/12/2022 19:18

Puppers · 27/12/2022 18:12

I know you say you're not in independent contact with her but I'd make an exception here.

"SIL, I don't wish to fall out so I'm going to keep this brief. We contributed far, far in excess of £200 with all the food and drink we brought with us, additional shopping we purchased during our visit and of course the considerable time and effort I put into preparing Christmas dinner for everybody else. We won't be paying this invoice and I'm sure if you reflect on everything we provided/did you will agree that is more than fair"

And then tell DH if he spends family money on appeasing this lunatic it will create a serious issue between the two of you. I couldn't abide such a weak partner.

This is perfect

VestaTilley · 27/12/2022 19:21

Please, please be a joke.

If not, don’t pay it, tell SIL to do one, and never see her again.

Zonder · 27/12/2022 19:32

PinkButtercups · 27/12/2022 09:19

Because it's a chat forum and you don't get to police who posts what and when, Zonder.

Show quote history

Actually troll hunting isn't really allowed and you may notice that some of the worst got deleted.

Notaflippinclue · 27/12/2022 20:53

Just paid £385 to take 2 DC partners and 2 grandsons out for lunch - food awful - service awful feel like i am never wanting to eat out again. We could dine at home on lobster and French champagne at half that price

PAFMO · 27/12/2022 22:56

AlwaysGoingBackwards · 27/12/2022 19:17

Another quality piece of journalism. Well done OP.

Well said.

Hawkins001 · 27/12/2022 23:28

Holy smoke, all.the best op

Fullhouse27 · 27/12/2022 23:52

My first reaction was to agree that this is just appalling. And it is, but it occurs to me that the problem could be the increase in the electricity, gas and water bills that comes with having multiple people to stay. These people might be struggling financially and might be too embarrassed to say so. I think I'd pay the money, but I'd also discuss the situation with the other family members who were there and see if some financial assistance (if necessary) could be organised and also see if some ground rules could be set with respect to future family Christmases.

RampantIvy · 28/12/2022 07:08

Maybe she shouldn't have expected someone to cook a meal that uses a lot of energy resources then, and should just have had a cold buffet @Fullhouse27

Eleganz · 28/12/2022 07:55

Well, that puts the minor dysfunction in my family into context.

Tuilpmouse · 28/12/2022 08:20

Fullhouse27 · 27/12/2022 23:52

My first reaction was to agree that this is just appalling. And it is, but it occurs to me that the problem could be the increase in the electricity, gas and water bills that comes with having multiple people to stay. These people might be struggling financially and might be too embarrassed to say so. I think I'd pay the money, but I'd also discuss the situation with the other family members who were there and see if some financial assistance (if necessary) could be organised and also see if some ground rules could be set with respect to future family Christmases.

But £200, and that's just the OP's contribution - the total is £450 I believe.... for 3 days... Come on - stop defending the indefensible - I know energy costs have increased, but that's preposterous.

£200 over 3 days is equivalent to £2000 over a month... Of course energy costs have soared, but what family of 4 pays that?!

Or maybe the OPs SIL thinks she's due a contribution to the mortgage, home insurance, council tax and a 'wear and tear' contribution to the furniture and carpets, along with some money towards wrapping paper and sellotape too?

Fullhouse27 · 28/12/2022 10:55

I‘m just saying that there could be more to this story that the OP might be unaware of. I’ve never been invoiced for staying as a guest at somebody’s home, nor have I ever done anything like that myself. If I were ever to be presented with an invoice, I think I’d initiate some sort of discussion about the reason for it. Without knowing more about the situation I’m loathe to judge.

RampantIvy · 28/12/2022 16:32

I‘m just saying that there could be more to this story that the OP might be unaware of.

But surely this would have been discussed beforehand?
The sister must be extremely socially unaware to think she could just invoice all her guests without prior discussion.

DuplicateUserName · 28/12/2022 16:38

RampantIvy · 28/12/2022 16:32

I‘m just saying that there could be more to this story that the OP might be unaware of.

But surely this would have been discussed beforehand?
The sister must be extremely socially unaware to think she could just invoice all her guests without prior discussion.

The OP got her story published which was clearly the aim of the thread.

And still no photo of the invoice...

Tuilpmouse · 28/12/2022 17:53

RampantIvy · 28/12/2022 16:32

I‘m just saying that there could be more to this story that the OP might be unaware of.

But surely this would have been discussed beforehand?
The sister must be extremely socially unaware to think she could just invoice all her guests without prior discussion.

IF this is true, then I suspect that the invoicing is a giant act of passive aggression by the OP's SIL who has seethed that she's had to "put up" with hosting the relatives over Christmas, and wants to let them know how much she thinks she's owed for the inconvenience of spoiling her Christmas, that she never wanted to spend with them in the first place!

SequinsandStilettos · 28/12/2022 18:13

So OP is Claire Toureille Confused and as it is a slow news day, has to make up a thread on here to quote from for her "article"?
God, that sounds weird - like a bloke sitting on his hand to pretend he's not wanking himself or some of the sock puppetry that goes on on here, when people are literally arguing with themselves.
Even if not the case, can you imagine being a journo in France having to trawl the depths of Reddit and Mumsnet to make your word count?
I would name change though Claire because your other thread about mispronunciation of names does align with you being in France.

AlwaysGoingBackwards · 28/12/2022 18:23

At least two other articles in the DM yesterday straight from MN. Surely MN are getting some sort of kickback

Greengagesnfennel · 28/12/2022 18:25

OMG the vote says it all!
Who are these people!!???
This can't be real.....?

SequinsandStilettos · 28/12/2022 18:29

It's not real. OP is a journo. MNHQ get clicks, DM get clickbait/news on a slow news day. Tabloid will eat itself.
God, I should stick to Telly Addicts. #gullible