To feel upset my inheritance is reduced

[MoMuM7]

I have very generous parents who worked extremely hard to ensure their kids were looked after. When we came of age (21) they told us how much each of us would inherit when we're turned 40. My sister asked for them to give a her a lump sum equal to her share so she could buy a house and they did that. When my brother turned 25, her asked for half of his share ao her could put down a deposit for a house and have enough cash to cover a 3 year sabbatical which they did. I haven't asked for anything as I was happy to wait till I turned 40. I started working when I was 16 so I have always been more financially secure than my siblings but im a freelancer which makes work difficult to come by and i also have 2 under 2. I'd planned to take 6 months maternity then go back to work in January but I'm shattered. My body, soul are exhausted from back to back pregnancies. I turn 40 in Feb so I was hoping to use my inheritance to take another year off, get therapy and sort my self out without financial pressure. DH works hard but his income alone won't cover us if I'm not earning.

Anyway, yesterday (Christmas!) my parents asked if they could reduce my inheritance sum as my brother 'needs it more'. He's just gone through a divorce (he cheated) and his ex-wife took him to the cleaners. His business went under during Covid and he hasn't worked in 2 years although he could get a job if he chose to. He claims he can't go back to working for someone else after having been his own boss for 10 years.

I'm devasted. My parents insist I don't have to say yes but I don't feel like i have much of a choice. I haven't stopped crying since.

Also OP a word of advice. Wrap the money up quickly or be sure to put it somewhere unreachable (like a two year bond) because I’ve also known of a parent who gave an adult child £100k only to ask for £25k back of it a few weeks later.

After that, the child quickly used the remaining £75k to pay off some of the mortgage so that it couldn’t be requested back.

They may come for you yet and demand it back. Think of a very good place to house it to make it untouchable/unreachable.

Money changes people. It sounds like it could get ugly quickly.

You want to keep your hands as clean as possible, while maintaining your fair share.

DB may still view all of the money as potentially his…

She said she was crying...that's quite extreme.

I doubt she would put the work in if they came incapacitated in their elder years.

"doubt she would put the work in if they came incapacitated in their elder years" - *704703hey
*
But her brother will?

Do you really feel bad about yesterday or just really pissed off with your dp? You described every single detail that annoyed you about her so pretty hard to think anything else but what a hole she is.

Must be nice having a crystal ball...

And do you honestly believe her brother would be more likely to?

Why are you so determined to be so mean to OP for no reason at all? You sound very bitter and unpleasant

it’s very hard to be sympathetic over you getting a wad of cash, with no obligation at all to give any of it to anyone else. They just asked. They made it clear you can say no.
take all the money, take some of the money. It’s not something to cry about.

if what you’re actually upset about is that your parents are treating your brother (even better) than they’re treating you then you just need to consider how well that seems to be serving him. It might also be worth talking to them about it. But crying about free money is not the way to go.

It's not your money. It's your parents. Its a gift to you and any amount they give you should be accepted with gratitude. Circumstances change. They should never have told ye what the amount was you would be receiving as anything could've happened and they could've needed to dip into it.

There are 25 pages of posts on this thread including some important updates from OP, but here you are riding in late to try and stick the knife in. Just get a other Bailey's and find a different thread...

This.

Her and her partner can earn their own money.

Why can't fuckwit brother earn his own money?

You're just not reading the same thread or you have really shitty reading comprehension.

Just butt out. No one agrees with you. You're wrong in the things you are suggesting about the OP and literally no one wants to read anything else by you on this thread.

That's the brother whos spoilt and entitled not op shes wanting to be treated fairly like her other siblings he can get a job and earn the money meanwhile taking is equal share only.

OP has thought about her parents future enough that she knows they have arrangements in place that will see them into old age separate from the money they’ve provided or promised to their children. She’s stated this quite clearly, so you would know if you’d bothered to read her responses.

What do you mean by more money? She hasnt taken any money yet.
And what blackmail?

The phrase, thick as mud comes to mind.

Sounds like your parents have been pressured by your brother to ask you to take a reduced share and weren't strong enough to resist him. And they're seemingly happy for you to say no. So they've asked you, under pressure from your brother, so they can tell him they have but you've said no.

Say a big fat loud NO.

Just say NO!

If that's too blunt, say “I have planned my life around getting this money and my family really needs it right now.”

Oh. And how do you think YOU come across? I'd tell you but it would get me banned.

Lazy reading on some posters part. No blackmail involved.
Thankfully the Op and her parents are able to talk effectively.

The parents sold their business and have made arrangements for their own future, donations to charity and financial gifts for their 3 children.

Child 1 has taken her gift early.

Child 2 took 50% of his £ gift early and wants to save 50% AND have a bit of the Ops (because he's special).

Op is the only one that has stick to the original parental terms but according to some should now roll over because the brother can't get over his sex addiction and can't work for anyone else.

And yet she's the one at fault 🙄 Thdnkfully her parents can see beyond that.

@704703hey I understand that some people can only understand things from the prism of their own experiences but why the determination to paint the OP in such a negative light? Parents asked a question about money promised and set aside for OP. She answered. Where does blackmail come into it?

You are really nasty @704703hey. OP is nothing of the sort. She just wants what’s been promised to her, and doesn’t want it diverted to her waster brother.

Well done for telling then OP. Make sure they give you your money sooner rather than later. Before darling brother comes up with yet another sob story for why he needs extra cash and your parents then can't give you your full lump sum.

You are missing the point; OP and OH don't earn enough to fund the lifestyle they feel entitled to and are resorting to tears and blackmail.