Is my 7 year old just being honest or is she ungrateful? Maybe it’s me maybe I’m really shit at choosing presents?

[MarrymeKeanu]

My 7 year old DD had the following on her Santa list...

A cuddly koala that talks
Gym equipment so she can do gymnastics at home (obvs can’t have a rope hanging from the ceiling)
Lol stuff
Barbie aeroplane
A history book
Lego set
A see through umbrella
A computer
Photo frames
Surprises
Clay

And few other bits that I couldn’t make make out (sneaky look at letter before it went to Santa because she didn’t want me to see it)

This morning she opened from her list
Cuddly koala that talks
Barbie aeroplane
History book
Lego set
Surprises which were...
Playdoh set
Arts and crafts set (new pens, ribbons etc)
A lovely fluffy lockable box to put her special things in
Barbie doll for the aeroplane
Polly pocket set
Sink n sand game (she’d said she wanted this)
Puzzle
Couple of new clothes

She’s just told me she doesn’t like most of her presents and this year isn’t as good as last year.

Shes told me she isn’t that keen on the Barbie aeroplane now, Santa got the wrong history book (it’s an age appropriate lift the flaps Usbourne book), she never wanted polly pockets (already has some and asked for more about a month ago), doesn’t like the crafts set....

Aibu for thinking I’m shit at choosing presents or do I have an ungrateful child? I need perspective.

Well it’s always an anticlimax after the presents are opened. She is being ungrateful and there are plenty of kids who won’t have had as much and are maybe homeless but you don’t want her to know that. She will probably enjoy playing with it all tomorrow when the tiredness wears off …

Any chance she's just overwhelmed?

Erm ungrateful! My 8yr old dd has been delighted with primark fluffy socks and pjs, smarties, a novel, a sticker book and a cuddly snow leopard.

I voted YABU as your question was Am I undreasonable to think I have an ungrateful child. But seems I’m in the massive minority 😄 Or people are confused about the voting. I have a 7 year old and would be shocked if he was so blunt. Also you’re not shit at buying presents as you literally went by the list 😵‍💫

Oh bloody hell. Confused myself with the voting 😂😂😂 too much champs

🙄🙄🙄🙄

I need to catch up but just when I thought all was going well grandparents have arrived with sack-loads of great presents, MIL is a HUGE shopper and has spent lots on each child! DD has just announced that nanny and grandad have given her better presents than Santa this year. 🙄

My god, some of these replies 🙄 she's 7 for gods sake. Unfortunately children are honest, isn't that what we want our children to be with us? But not if it's going to hurt our feelings or offend anyone right?

OP it's only half way through the day and I'm sure she'll come back to them. Christmas can be a massive anti climax for everyone. I also think nothing wrong with a gentle conversation at an appropriate time about privilege and the differences in what some children get compared to others and the how to show you can be grateful for a present even if its not your favourite.

Posters calling a 7 year, who doesn't have sound impulse control or theory of mind rude are misinformed.

She is 7. Christmas is full of excitement and overwhelming for young children. She is probably tired too. I'd give it a day or two before concluding she means what she says about her presents. Hope the rest of your day goes well.

Just manage her expectations. The fact she thinks last year was better suggests she was expecting more this time. Explain what Christmas is really about and how little some people will get, if anything at all. Children have very little appreciation for the value of things so focus more on less. Her list is all a bit vague and there doesn't seem to be much on there that's very stimulating for a 7 year old. Perhaps help her decide what items are more important and focus on the high value gift rather than the vague bits and pieces. For example if she didn't get the computer she wanted then that alone with some smaller bits or accessories would probably have been far more stimulating than a plastic airplane that doesn't really do much. You can also use a computer as a base for future birthday and Christmas gifts with games and upgrades etc.

It's because Christmas is all about presents, you can see that from the 'come look at our huge piles of gifts' thread. It doesn't live up to the hype. She should at least act grateful though.

All of this.

Plus, that is just so much stuff. Perhaps she should be taught to be grateful for less.

On second thoughts I think I can see why she has no appreciation now.. 😔

Although if she thinks a magical fat man sneaked in and left the presents, I guess she doesn't even know she's being hurtful.

Sounds like an over-indulged brat. I’m amazed she was given so many gifts TBH. She clearly has no sense of valuing what she received.

And I agree with @Mariposista - give her gifts to a children’s charity so she learns the value of things. I don’t buy the “she’s only 7” and “overwhelmed” comments.

I think you do have to cut kids that age some slack. They have been hyped up at school and elsewhere for over a month. They’re often mega excited and then sort of crash on Xmas day itself. I think often we view things through an adult lens (ie they have so much, have gone to loads of effort etc). I always try to do a mix of Santa and parent presents so they know there is a human behind some of them. Some kids also set up a perfect vision of what to expect and sometimes no matter how much they get something isn’t quite right and upsets them. The ‘something’ can be ridiculously small as well as they don’t have a sense of monetary value when they’re small.

This is why we carried on the family tradition of only the present in the sack by the fireplace, comes from Santa.

The rest from parents, wider family and friends....well kids need to know how much time, money and effort goes into choosing their gifts.

No advice, just a random story from a Christmas past;

When I was that age in 1978 I got one present for Christmas (plus a few books from visiting relatives), so it was a big deal. I wanted the Fisher Price tree house. They were all the rage and my parents couldn’t get one so they got the Fisher Price doll house instead. I remember being very, very disappointed so I know I was quite sulky about it. It was a very large outlay for a working class family at the time of three day weeks and rolling blackouts so my Mum yelled her head off at me and went off to cry in the kitchen.

At 7 you’re just learning everything so it took me quite a few years to realise that my mum was upset because I had been ungrateful and that you don’t act like a brat to people who love you and buy you gifts.

What I remember about that day now that I’m 51 is once we’d all calmed down my Dad got down on the floor and played with that house with me until I loved it. It was my most treasured possession until I was far too old for it and it fell apart. My dad became ill the next year and died when I was 15 and I’m glad I have this memory of a wrong present, a lesson learned, and a demonstration of love. Merry Christmas OP.

I think overwhelm and expectations towards the big day are partially responsible, it's far too much.
However, yes I think your Dd was rude and ungrateful.

This. A lovely post and says it all. Your dad sounds like he was wonderful @OooScotland

Yes, seems like a lot and perhaps overwhelming. Too many presents can devalue and take the focus off the main gift.

In our family, stockings are from Father Christmas and have lots of little things - all the pens and paper clips one would need for the year- and then actual presents come from one another. So you can thank the giver and give to others. That was the way it was when I was a child- and we’ve continued it into the next generations.

I'd say rude.

But I'm often shocked on here about posts about children having meltdowns or strops over the wrong gifts.

I just never felt I could that as a child even if it wasn't what I wanted or as good as I'd expected.

And ds wouldn't and hasn't either. He's not really into surprises as such due to his autism but even though he's black and white and as honest as they come over always said gifts are just that. What someone thinks you'd like. If you don't then that's fine. You just don't express it to them!