Son has come home with a girl

[sonotprepared]

He's 18, and knows this girl. Has just brought her home saying she's locked out. Tells me she was upset earlier (with good reason).

She seems to be staying here tonight and I'm uncomfortable about it.

He's been at a club, so a bit tipsy. Asked if he's sleeping on the couch if she's staying and he says no. Obviously intends on sharing his bed with her.

WWYD? This is new to me!

The problem is it's not his house, he's a child being housed by his parents and should know to ask for permission before taking a girl to share his bed for the night. It's about common decency and respect for one's parents.

@Westernesse

its her house so it is her business

If they wanna bang each other then they do. They are adults, it isn't your job to police his bedroom.

Do you not trust him not to rape someone? Cos that is how it is sounding. Surely he knows about consent?

Are they even interested in each other like that? I mean I assume so given how insistent your son is re: bed sharing arrangements.

It sounds that OP is more put out by the fact her little boy isn't her little boy anymore. Yes he is going to have sex, it is on teenage boys minds much of the the time. This is a normal, healthy expression of sexuality. It is also better in your house than under a bridge or in an alleyway somewhere. I'd want to know if he has protection rather than stand fighting about where this girl is sleeping (and assuming that they are even interested in each other).

Asking Mumsnet won’t give you balanced enough opinions, many Mumsnetters seem prudish when it comes to sex, like it’s something that shouldn’t happen, it’s a normal act between two people. They will shame your son for having a healthy and natural curiosity about sex and the Mumsnetters who say their teens didn’t bring anyone home, it’s probably because they were shagging in a field instead, or they was at uni taking partners back to their student accommodation. As long as it’s consensual and they’re using protection, there really is no harm in what they’re doing.

Yeah, I can't get on board with the idea that if it's legal you can't insist you don't want it in your house. Lots of things are legal but people have a rule against it in their won home.

What's the point in having your own house if anything, so long as it's legal, goes, regardless of your feelings?

They are both consenting adults. Making one of them sleep on the couch is ridiculous.

@Frabbits if they are drunk they might not be consenting!

This.

Who does he think he is?

I have children this age and if either of my boys took that tone with me he would be finding digs.

Bringing her back is ok.

She would be on the sofa in this house or they could find a hotel.

No way would we accept that.

Agree with this.

Your son is out of order. It is your house, she is a stranger to you. You need to put your foot down, if he doesn't accept the sofa offer, he can leave too. Imagine if her parents turn up saying is my 15 year old daughter here.

Only on MN would parents kick their 18 year olds out for doing normal 18 year old things.

@toomuchlaundry "if they are drunk they might not be consenting!"

If my gran had wheels she'd be a bike!

Care to elaborate on this? I’m not getting your comparison with consent vs being a bike.

Bit late now but if this was My house and scenario, (they're 18 and adults)
'Here's the sofa/ spare room, got spare duvet etc, x can sleep on the sofa, you have his bed'
If she insists on sharing his room / seems keen maybe remind them ts a big day tomorrow, you're a sensitive sleeper and have lost your earplugs 🤯
Unless you're religious I don't see an issue with it, you wouldn't make your 18+ couple friends sleep separately?
I met a locked out teenage girl one night. She was in a right state, I'd have let her sleep at mine but everyone I was with said she'd Rob or kill me etc so I worked really hard with her to find someone via her phone to come and get her, she contacted me the next day to thank me profusely and i frequently lost my bag, keys etc back ij my wilder days, so it does happen and is not necessarily a ruse.