MIL wants DC to save presents to she can watch them open them

[MiseltoeAndWhine]

MIL and FIL are coming on Christmas Day. They've been invited for the full day but are coming at 1pm (fair enough that's their choice). They don't live far they could pop over on the morning if they want to but said they're not early risers. Our two DC are 3 and 5. MIL has asked us to save some of their Santa presents so they can watch them open them. I don't really want to do this - I don't want to "control" the kids joy on Christmas Day and we haven't got them loads so don't want the pile to look small on the morning. Plus I want them to have the full day to enjoy their gifts.

I think it's really selfish of them. I was caught off guard when she asked and said I don't think they'll be able to wait plus they can open the gift from her when she gets to us. She then asked the kids to save gifts for granny and they looked upset and said they didn't want to. She then said to us it's not much to ask and seeing that is the best part of the day.

WIBU to ignore all this?

Offer again for her to come over earlier and then when she says something later just reiterate 'well it was your choice not to be here'

Alternatively don't invite her earlier and if she says anything just say 'this is just how DH and I have decided to organise our christmases. I'm sure you did christmas your way when you had small children. Another drink Maureen?'

No way

Your kids are at peak magic age for Christmas !

I wouldn’t say anything to them. The kids get up and open all of their presents. Only say something if PIL ask then just say the kids couldn’t wait sorry.

@ShandaLear yes I have acknowledged my mistake - I skimmed the OP (slaps own wrist) and failed to spot the MIL was requesting delay of opening ALL gifts rather than just her gifts. I was wrong.

3 and 5 is still really little to wait. If your MiL wants to do that, I'd get her to bring their gifts and maybe a few others with her to stagger them out but as a surprise to the DC.

Otherwise, they open when they open. You can tell your MiL to either get up & facetime early/get her ass round yours early or if she insists upon a later time, she can still see her own DS open stuff.

This is a bit of an issue for her - she always says "so and so's child saved the presents for the grandparents to see as it's the best but which is really thoughtful and kind - isn't it?" And says children should learn to wait and they all get too much. It can feel quite judgmental.

you reply

"do you really think so? I think it's cruel personally, poor kids. Aren't ours lucky rhey have me to give them such a lovely time?"

or

"did you do that with your MiL then?"

YANBU - I'd just tell her when she comes that the kids didn't want to wait to open their presents from Santa. End of discussion.

Ps I’m not sure I’d even encouraging them to come at 6/7 am - it’s lovely it just being the 4 of you at that time of day. What on earth is it with these women wanting to do the little ones stuff again.
Unless I had them staying I wouldn’t be opening up the door at 6 am - and I wouldn’t be turning up at my local childrens houses at that time.
Im perfectly happy to go at the agreed time and enjoy them showing me all of the lovely things they opened when I was still in bed enjoying my “retired person with no alarm clock” lie in on Christmas morning.
I know everyone is different but I just don’t get it.

Definitely this!!!

Can't you just say 'so and so's grandparents turn up in the morning at an appropriate time to watch the grandkids open their presents, isn't that thoughful and appropriate if them?' !!

Don’t invite her to come early, just in case she does.

DC get up early on Christmas Day. It’s the best part of the day when you have young children! Don’t let her spoil it.

If she tries to come then tell her the DC will be opening presents any time from 6am onwards, depending on when they wake up. So she will need to set alarm for 5.30 so they are ready to come as soon as you phone, as you are not making DC wait around for anyone on Christmas morning.

I always put family presents under my ye tree to open after lunch. Could you do that?

@MiseltoeAndWhine

Surely it depends on how many Santa presents and overall presents they have ?

If they have huge number then we would always set a few aside to open after lunch As didn't want DCs overwhelmed. However if they only have a few no way would I be saving presents as opening presents early Xmas morning is fun that children and their parents have!! They had their time. They'll see DCs open their present as are bringing it with them

It's not about DGP who decide to visit late in the day- that's their tough.

Besides you can do a video chat for few minutes in morning to PIL to show them DCs face seeing it all under the Xmas tree and opening a present each

But I wouldn't

Can she FaceTime in the morning to watch them? We are doing this tomorrow with my mum

Whoops that was a random
'But I wouldn't' added in the end

I meant to add that I wouldn't Brook passive aggressive digs all day at me. Not being put down by anyone in my own home and especially not on Xmas day

"I don't enjoy you saying that/ speaking to me that way '
' I don't appreciate the little digs' are often a go to reply from me

You could also say
' Don't be ridiculous, no loving grandparent would put themselves first above their grandchildren's joy at seeing what Santa brought as they can't wait to get out of bed . That's would be selfish of those grown adults'