MIL wants DC to save presents to she can watch them open them

[MiseltoeAndWhine]

MIL and FIL are coming on Christmas Day. They've been invited for the full day but are coming at 1pm (fair enough that's their choice). They don't live far they could pop over on the morning if they want to but said they're not early risers. Our two DC are 3 and 5. MIL has asked us to save some of their Santa presents so they can watch them open them. I don't really want to do this - I don't want to "control" the kids joy on Christmas Day and we haven't got them loads so don't want the pile to look small on the morning. Plus I want them to have the full day to enjoy their gifts.

I think it's really selfish of them. I was caught off guard when she asked and said I don't think they'll be able to wait plus they can open the gift from her when she gets to us. She then asked the kids to save gifts for granny and they looked upset and said they didn't want to. She then said to us it's not much to ask and seeing that is the best part of the day.

WIBU to ignore all this?

I’d save a couple of Santa gifts for the kids to open when they arrive. It’s good to pace out presents IMO . But it’s your call.

xmas day is for the kids first!!

Ignore their request. When asked, just say itvwas an unreasonable request of the kids.

You reply before the children, ‘We have all enjoyed opening our presents this morning as we planned.’ Then change the subject.

Presents from her and FIL, fine; but I see they are bringing them later in any case. But they don't get to control the whole of the children's Christmas day. If they want to watch them open all their other presents, technology is their friend.

MIL is being unreasonable.

What do you say on the day to the snide remark? We did what we think best for our children.

If they say anything just reply with ‘the kids were so excited to open all their presents straight away. I’m sure you understand putting the kids first on Christmas. We all want them to be happy on Christmas Day, it’s the most important thing to us.’ Or along those lines

Mines like this, she always has to watch her grandkids opening the gifts she got them. I find it really egotistical and needy of thanks/praise if I’m honest.

If this was me I would be saying that opening their presents is the best bit for them and that taking that excitement away from them would more than likely upset them (at their age) so if she wants to see them open presents she will need to be round in the morning. My dd is 10 and I wouldn't put a hold on her excitement for no one.

YANBU, it's very entitled of her to ask you to do this. When she arrives and asks, just say, "aw sorry, it was all too exciting to wait." Then hand her your phone with the pics or video.

And don't let her guilt trip you. If she starts going on about it, just walk away and check how the dinner is coming on.

This is such a shame Op, the days of having very young children are very special and they only happen once. Please do not let this selfish woman who has had her turn at parenting spoil your Christmas enjoyment. Don't worry about her she is trying it on stand up to her and just say very clearly and with a calm manner 'this is my family and we do things differently' Smile at her and move on you will only have to do it once! Have a wonderful Christmas and enjoy and cherish every minute.

I'd just tell her "it's not as much about teaching them to wait as it is our Christmas tradition for the kids to wake up Christmas morning and open their presents they've been waiting so patiently and eagerly for. I agree with you, it is definitely the best part of Christmas watching the kids open their gifts, and if you two happen to wake up early enough to watch them, you're still more than welcome to join us!"

No way would i make them wait

Yip I would absolutely ignore it. If it is that important she can pop over on the morning and I'd be telling her that too. To be honest she shouldn't even be there it's a time for your family to enjoy. However I wouldn't stop her coming over then if she wanted to.

If you don't want to say anything now then just say well the kids were too excited and wanted to open them all. If she complains shut her down quickly and say well they have ur gifts to open now anyway.

You decide when the presents are opened. MIL is being incredibly entitled and selfish.

It's not the gp presents. It's the Santa presents.

Who would ask kids to wait until their gp can be bothered to get out of bed so the kids can finally open their presents.

YANBU. Do not put your MILs happiness above that of your children's. If they don't show up first thing then enjoy your morning as normal and she can watch them open their gift/gifts and that will have to be enough.

Some people are so infuriating!

"so and so's child saved the presents for the grandparents to see as it's the best but which is really thoughtful and kind - isn't it?"

If she says anything like this on Christmas, I'd simply respond with "that was kind of them to do for you! The poor kids though, they missed out on all the fun of Christmas morning. My DM (or whoever) came over last year at 7 in the morning to watch DC open their gifts and they were so excited that she was there to see them open Santa's gifts too. Wasn't that so sweet of her?"

When I was little my parents made us wait until after the meal to open presents it was torture! Don't do it OP!

Totally ignore her.

You need your husband to tell HIS mother to back off and keep her opinions to herself or she will find she is not welcome.

You need to be less polite and far more frosty with her.

Be a lot less available.

The selfishness of that suggestion would piss me off.

The best thing about getting older is that I no longer feel the need to be agreeable, smooth things over and keep the peace with people who don’t feel the same way.

It doesn’t make me rude but it does mean that I am comfortable expressing a dissenting opinion. My thoughts and attitude towards a person or their views can, however, make me extremely rude on occasion.

We never got that many presents in my day!
Were your family very poor then?
Every generation wants more/better for their children, don’t they!

So-and-so waited until the grandparents were there to open presents. Isn’t that kind and unselfish?
OMG! Those poor children! They must have been so deflated on Christmas morning!
^^
Actually, I think it is really selfish. Christmas is for the children, not the parents or grandparents.
^^
I couldn’t do that to my children. That’s just cruel!

Weirdly my children (similar ages) do like to pace their presents, and find it stressful to have to rush it. Often it takes us nearly into new year. If one unwraps a game, it needs playing before the next present. Lego needs building etc.

But that's very much initiated by them, controlled at their speed. It actually causes the reverse controversy. One grandparent buys them a LOT, but doesn't stay very long, and he always puts pressure on them to open their gifts so he can be there (fair enough in some ways), but they find it very stressful.

You know your kids and their grandparents are being extremely unfair. If they want to see them open their presents then they need to get out of bed!

Do you usually video dc opening their presents? if you do then just show grandparents the video! can cast to the TV from most phones now to watch on the bigger screen. I'd have hated having to wait to open my presents as it's way too exciting for young children. if they really wanted to see them they'd make that extra effort to get up and come round earlier.

Did that OP let them open the presents and either film or take some pictures on your phone for the PIL.

Sorry if I’m repeating advice, haven’t RTFT.

@anythinginapinch

reading comprehension is a life skill, you might like to put some effort into achieving