MIL wants DC to save presents to she can watch them open them

[MiseltoeAndWhine]

MIL and FIL are coming on Christmas Day. They've been invited for the full day but are coming at 1pm (fair enough that's their choice). They don't live far they could pop over on the morning if they want to but said they're not early risers. Our two DC are 3 and 5. MIL has asked us to save some of their Santa presents so they can watch them open them. I don't really want to do this - I don't want to "control" the kids joy on Christmas Day and we haven't got them loads so don't want the pile to look small on the morning. Plus I want them to have the full day to enjoy their gifts.

I think it's really selfish of them. I was caught off guard when she asked and said I don't think they'll be able to wait plus they can open the gift from her when she gets to us. She then asked the kids to save gifts for granny and they looked upset and said they didn't want to. She then said to us it's not much to ask and seeing that is the best part of the day.

WIBU to ignore all this?

Just agree with her -

This is a bit of an issue for her - she always says "so and so's child saved the presents for the grandparents to see as it's the best but which is really thoughtful and kind - isn't it?" - yes it is the best bit for us too, written they just cant wait to open first thing in the morning, dc tell granny what was your biggest surprise

And says children should learn to wait and they all get too much. It can feel quite judgmental. - haha, it is Christmas they learn to wait the other 364 days of the year, not today, today they definitely get too much!

Yep ☝

It’s that simple. She sounds like a control freak. Don’t let her try and guilt trip you into anything. Stand your ground.

We grew up knowing that presents from aunties and so on would come later in the day. Back then we were impatient (as you would be!!) for presents to open them all at once. But it actually made us appreciate the gifts more and Christmas Day lasted longer too!!
We are doing the rounds of Christmas Day visits to our grandchildren and will take their presents along with us as we go. That way we get to see their excitement of gifts already opened as well as seeing them open our gifts. But when it's called for it - we have left gifts under the tree if we won't be around.
When my kids were young we were annoyed on behalf of the aunties etc that the big man got the credit for all the gifts so stockings/sacks from Santa were left at the end of the bed and anything under the tree from family.

You’re being unreasonable. Much better to spread the gifts out.

Shes being unreasonable and selfish. She had the joy of watching her own child open presents now its your turn. If its that important to her she will get out of bed earli

“What can I say when she inevitably makes a comment about it on the day?”-

we choose to open all our gifts in the morning in this house. I told you that. Anyway anyone want a cuppa?

What a self cantered woman. If it’s the most important part of the day she needs to make sure she sets her alarm and gets there for it.

its so much better to spread presents out. They will get much more enjoyment than a massive opening spree if you spread the presents out. But to be honest you sound like you hate the in-laws so it doesn’t really make a difference whether the request is reasonable.

This a hundred times. If she says it's not much to ask the kids to wait, then tell her it's not much to ask her to get up earlier!

Being able to control one's immediate urges is a life skill. Thinking of others is a social skill.

Shame MIL hasn't learned these by now, isn't it? She is neither thinking of others, just herself and FIL, nor can she stop herself from making unreasonable requests.

She can watch them opening the presents she's brought them, can't she? Any more than that, she needs to get up earlier. Maybe she could go to bed earlier to help with that? Looking for solutions is a life skill.

Do that with your kids then (bet it’s shit for them) OP will do what she wants with hers.

Well we know you'd be the arsehole in this scenario.

Reading comprehension is a life skill too. Give it a go.

So if you'd read the OP's posts you'd see that the GPs are bringing their presents with them.

So the DCs can open those later and open everything else when they get up.

Absolutely ridiculous, not a chance I'd be doing this. She's had her children, she's had her turn, she doesn't get to take over your family and control what you do. And so selfish considering your children are so young.

Crack on and if she says "I thought we agreed you were waiting" just say "no, you asked but that wasn't going to work for us". Then hopefully she'll start to get the message that you're going to do what you want rather than "doing as you're told" going forward too.

I'm a big believer in kids learning the skill of delaying gratification, but not a 3 and 5 year old having to wait from (no doubt) the crack of dawn til after noon to open Christmas presents!

You need to invent an imaginary friend with perfect grandparents. "Oh, yes, my friend Clarissa's mum agrees with you that the present opening is the best part of the day. That's why she arrived at 7 am to be sure she didn't miss it and brought pastries for the whole family with her!" "Oh yes, Clarissa's mum says she only ever got one Christmas present each year and she's so grateful that her grandchildren are fortunate enough to have more."

Yup ignore! Mil didn't pay for the presents, you did! She can have the excitment of the kids opening the presents from her.

so and so do this well I’d be saying I’m not so and so.

I absolutely love seeing my kid’s faces Xmas morning I love how excited they are if she wants to experience that then she needs to come early. She’s bringing presents anyway so shel still see it in some way. Very selfish of her to even ask it

WTF is wrong with people like this? Just wants to get pics / do social media etc...

If MIL was staying with you, then I’d agree that it was fair enough to ask kids to wait until 8/9 am to open presents so that granny could see. But expecting them to
wait until lunchtime for them to arrive is ridiculous.

YANBU regarding santa gifts. If they want to see them open them, they get out of bed earlier...
My own wonderful DF arrives at our house at 6am to watch his grandchildren open santa gifts and has done for years.

I do think you should keep the presents PIL got for your DC until they arrive.

She's right. Watching them open their presents is the best part of the day.

If she wants to do that then she needs to arrive earlier than 1pm. Asking you to wait and save a few presents til 9am is not unreasonable but expecting them to wait til 1pm is ridiculous!

If she talks about what other families do just make non committal noises and say things like "I'm quite surprised that a grandma would be so selfish. Doesn't she care about how much that would upset the children?".

What can I say when she inevitably makes a comment about it on the day?

That you invited her to be there, she chose to have a lie-in and thus chose to miss out. Her decision.

Surely a video of them opening their pics is enough for her if she doesn't want to get out of her bed early. Ridiculous woman

*their presents