Worst Wedding Reception Ever?

[TheShellBeach]

I am still trying to get my head round this one.

It was a friend's wedding last week and they happy couple invited twelve people to their reception.

After the ceremony (which was lovely) we went back to the couple's house.

There was no wedding cake. No drinks. We made ourselves cups of tea and coffee.

Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order.

After we'd eaten and tidied up, the newlyweds asked us to leave because they were tired.......................no speeches, no fun, no dancing, no music and NO FOOD provided.

AIBU to think this was the worst wedding reception ever?

I'm not involved so carry on.

.....tensions were rising and so were their heart beats. They made themselves another coffee and continued to talk, but @Againstmachine appeared from nowhere and spooked them. "What's going on here there, or should I use my own imagination as to what you're trying to get up to with my sister young Timmy?" Timmy was left speechless, but @Arseulaundress was quick to defend the situation as an innocent coffee. The group arrived back from the pub all feeling quite tipsy after their cocktails. "Where's the booze" asked Sue. Derek remembered that there was a stock of wine under the stairs and promptly grabbed a few bottles of red and white. This was a difficult situation for @Againstmachine who was a recovering alcoholic. Her sister was the only person who knew about her struggles. As the wine started to flow Timmy snuggled up to @Arseulaundress placing his hand on her thigh which she didn't resist. @Againstmachine was the first to notice their cosiness which caused her to weaken to the booze. Swiftly downing a large glass of red, she promptly asked Derek for a top up. Three large glasses later she became rather flirtatious which sat well with Derek who was known in the village as a womaniser. Derek took her outside into the back garden where the grass was glistening by the full moonlit sky. They weren't really missed for the thirty minutes that they were gone, but when they returned it was obvious that @Againstmachine had just redressed herself as there some obvious telltale signs. @BadLad was sat there as a bored party animal, so he popped out to his vintage MG to get some of his magic mushroom stash. He was quite shocked how well received they were amongst the snobby bunch. The music blasted, everyone danced and the party exploded.
To be continued....

I would never make my guest pay for anything. When we married it was our celebration and you can bet we partied and ate. I was older so we payed for a catered meal and drinks and music. Our guest enjoyed themselves. If they didn't want all the hoopla, they should have just went to the Justice of the Peace then went out for a drink.

Crikey

@Kimsjustsayin You've just earned yourself in the book 'Four divorces and a wedding'. Watch this space tomorrow. 😉 Happy New Year to all!

What?

Fun, laughter and a boozy night ensued until @Kimsjustsayin sjustsayin barged in and whinged about having payed (paid) for everything at her own wedding but she was older than the average bride. "What a part pooper" said @Againstmachine achine who already had her sights on the second catch of the evening. @BadLad had made four trips to his MG to top up the magic mushroom supplies and was looking rather worse for wear sat in the corner with @Kimsjustsayin sayin who as the eldest in the party was trying to look after him. Unfortunately he saw this as a bit of flirting as he liked the thought of hitting on a granny. Ooh she thought, this'll be fun let's see if he can make it up the stairs then I'll teach him a few things he's never seen before. Into the master bedroom they went when granny pushed him onto the bed and started undressing herself. Definitely not the prettiest sight but @BadLad d had his mushroom glasses on, so was in no state to judge. @Againstmachine chine heard the commotion when visiting the upstairs loo and couldn't resist a peek through the door. Wow, she thought I'll sneak in and join in the action if they'll let me. To be continued.....

Fun, laughter and a boozy night ensued until @Kimsjustsayin barged in and whinged about having payed (paid) for everything at her own wedding but she was older than the average bride. "What a part pooper" said @Againstmachinewho already had her sights on the second catch of the evening. @BadLad had made four trips to his MG to top up the magic mushroom supplies and was looking rather worse for wear sat in the corner with @Kimsjustsayin who as the eldest in the party was trying to look after him. Unfortunately he saw this as a bit of flirting as he liked the thought of hitting on a granny. Ooh she thought, this'll be fun let's see if he can make it up the stairs then I'll teach him a few things he's never seen before. Into the master bedroom they went when granny pushed him onto the bed and started undressing herself. Definitely not the prettiest sight but @BadLad had his mushroom glasses on, so was in no state to judge. @Againstmachine heard the commotion when visiting the upstairs loo and couldn't resist a peek through the door. Wow, she thought I'll sneak in and join in the action if they'll let me. To be continued.....
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Zax, what are you smoking. You don't need to get your panties in a bunch.

Whats going on!

A very lonely and bored poster is filling up the empty hours of the festive period by putting together some kind of story that no one is reading.

A PP mentioned that Zac probably was the office “comedian” (you know the type, think David Brent), and I’m inclined to agree.

I think perhaps more of an Alan Bennett type of character!

And now comes the retort…

I am on tenterhooks!

@ridiculoso82 I was thinking more along the lines of Colin Hunt

Do you know what @DrManhattan I think you may have a point.
The common theme of AB’s characters is channelling their feelings of loneliness / boredom into something invariably a little peculiar.

So I will bow out because I suspect @Zax might not be a happy camper

@Kimsjustsayin , @ridiculoso82 , @DrManhattan and @ineedasweatshirt have all just returned from a 'happy campers' trip in their brand new camper van. Shame really because the party was in full swing before the miserable bunch returned. All they talked about to the others was their addiction to a new book by Zax called 'Four divorces and a wedding'. Apparently they were all glued to their phones reading it and had a rotten time suffering from loneliness and boredom. Also @Kimsjustsayin had managed to ger her panties in a bunch, but luckily @DrManhattan was there to treat her problem. More to follow soon folks.....

I didn't say I was miserable. I just don't know what's happening.

And here it is @DrManhattan ….

@ineedasweatshirt I don't think anyone does. Might be witnessing a mental breakdown in slow motion?

@ridiculoso82 it's just soooo funny though. Defo should be made into a comedy on channel 5 🙄

@DrManhattan has just diagnosed @ineedasweatshirt with an impending mental breakdown which is kind of understandable given the company she's been stuck around during the camping holiday. On the other hand @ridiculoso82 just switched over Channel 5 to watch the very first episode aired live. Anyway poor @BadLad was suffering very badly with the effects of a magic mushroom overdose, but as luck would have it there was now a doctor in the house who had the antidote in his car. @Kimsjustsayin was somewhat curious about magic mushrooms and decided to try a few. Wow, she soon loosened up and joined into the party spirit and took to the dance floor with the doc. Ooh she said, I've always fancied you, yeah right back to when we were in school together, couldn't you tell? The doc blushed but managed to stay composed in amongst the excitement feelings. With no empty bedrooms the doc hatched a plan, let's go for a quick drive in the camper van he whispered. Off they went down the long and winding driveway and then.....
To be continued..
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