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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worst Wedding Reception Ever?

495 replies

TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 14:46

I am still trying to get my head round this one.

It was a friend's wedding last week and they happy couple invited twelve people to their reception.

After the ceremony (which was lovely) we went back to the couple's house.

There was no wedding cake. No drinks. We made ourselves cups of tea and coffee.

Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order.

After we'd eaten and tidied up, the newlyweds asked us to leave because they were tired.......................no speeches, no fun, no dancing, no music and NO FOOD provided.

AIBU to think this was the worst wedding reception ever?

OP posts:
Ursuladevine · 27/12/2022 07:02

sue20 · 26/12/2022 22:05

Yes they picked what they wanted and the groom asked everyone to transfer the costs of the orders for him to pay the total out of his bank account. If people were paying for their own why would groom’s bank account have any mention? They would all be paying out of their bank accounts right? Not grooms. That’s the way it reads to me. Whether that’s what happened is another matter.

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Seriously do you not understand banking??

one order
12 guests
each guest transfer the total of their order so that the groom makes the order and then gives the restaurant his card details for the TOTAL amount rather than passing the phone around for each guest to give their card details for their order!

Quite remarkable you have struggled with this tbh

Ursuladevine · 27/12/2022 07:03

The guest needs the grooms bank account details to transfer their cost of the order 😐

MavisMcMinty · 27/12/2022 07:22

To be asked for money for the takeaway - YANBU.

My OH and I were invited to the evening do of a young couple we know through other friends. I knew the very posh venue charged £50 a head for the evening reception so thought the least we could do was give them £100 as a wedding present to cover the cost of inviting us. We starved all day, looking forward to the evening buffet, but when it finally arrived, hours after we did, it was hot dogs. Just hot dogs - the bread rolls and the frankfurters, no relish, no sauces, no onions. Obviously I blame the venue for this rip-off rather than the couple, but £100 for piss-poor hot dogs? Bloody hell!

Againstmachine · 27/12/2022 09:29

sue20 · 26/12/2022 21:53

Actually unclear but thanks for unnecessarily aggressive response.

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Seeing as you have made another post about people transferring money to him but because it's coming from his account he is paying you clearly still don't comprehend, stop and think for a minute instead of calling people agressive.

DrManhattan · 27/12/2022 15:10

I think @sue20 has got confused because the husband made the actual transaction on his phone or whatever to make the order but all the guests* actually paid (by transferring money).

*not sure if guests is the right term in this scenario

Stewball01 · 27/12/2022 15:29

Weird.

Stewball01 · 27/12/2022 15:32

Weird.

Zax · 27/12/2022 18:36

DrManhattan · 27/12/2022 15:10

I think @sue20 has got confused because the husband made the actual transaction on his phone or whatever to make the order but all the guests* actually paid (by transferring money).

*not sure if guests is the right term in this scenario

I know who the hosts were and they are skint. SMALL WORLD.

Againstmachine · 27/12/2022 18:45

Zax · 27/12/2022 18:36

I know who the hosts were and they are skint. SMALL WORLD.

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Should have had a just them wedding then.

Zax · 27/12/2022 19:05

My brain is hurting. 😫

BelleMarionette · 27/12/2022 19:52

Zax · 27/12/2022 18:36

I know who the hosts were and they are skint. SMALL WORLD.

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Not an excuse. If they couldn't afford to host guests then they shouldn't have had them.

Asking guests to come and asking for gifts, without warning people they would need to pay and not even offering gifts is exceptionally rude.

Zax · 27/12/2022 20:05

BelleMarionette · 27/12/2022 19:52

Not an excuse. If they couldn't afford to host guests then they shouldn't have had them.

Asking guests to come and asking for gifts, without warning people they would need to pay and not even offering gifts is exceptionally rude.

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Actually you're not in a position to judge whether its 'exceptionally rude'. I'm am, and I can tell you that he OP is exaggerating the whole event and shares the minority view amongst all the guests. Attention seeking if you ask me, and judging by some of the pathetic responses here, it's working.

Againstmachine · 27/12/2022 20:12

We are in a position to do that don't pull the high and mighty card on this, if you are groom you let your attendees down.

If you condone this you are rude.

ortonym · 27/12/2022 20:27

Zax · 27/12/2022 20:05

Actually you're not in a position to judge whether its 'exceptionally rude'. I'm am, and I can tell you that he OP is exaggerating the whole event and shares the minority view amongst all the guests. Attention seeking if you ask me, and judging by some of the pathetic responses here, it's working.

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If that's the case, then why don't you tell us exactly what did happen?

Zax · 27/12/2022 20:43

ortonym · 27/12/2022 20:27

If that's the case, then why don't you tell us exactly what did happen?

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The B&G made it very plain to all invitees that it was going to be low key and that they couldn't afford to put on food. Sorry, to be blunt and probably state the obvious, but that's how it was. They are going through tough times.

Againstmachine · 27/12/2022 21:05

Zax · 27/12/2022 20:43

The B&G made it very plain to all invitees that it was going to be low key and that they couldn't afford to put on food. Sorry, to be blunt and probably state the obvious, but that's how it was. They are going through tough times.

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If they are going through rough times they don't have to invite anyone and can get married on quiet instead they decided to be grabby for gifts.

Stop with bull that it isn't their fault it is

LolaMoon · 27/12/2022 21:12

Againstmachine · 27/12/2022 21:05

If they are going through rough times they don't have to invite anyone and can get married on quiet instead they decided to be grabby for gifts.

Stop with bull that it isn't their fault it is

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I agree. Plus if they’re that skint why are they inviting people they barely know? Surely if you were broke you’d be inviting close friends and family not people you’ve met once. It was a gift grab, that’s obvious.

Zax · 27/12/2022 21:18

LolaMoon · 27/12/2022 21:12

I agree. Plus if they’re that skint why are they inviting people they barely know? Surely if you were broke you’d be inviting close friends and family not people you’ve met once. It was a gift grab, that’s obvious.

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With respect, you don't know them so you're on no position to judge or comment. It's complicated!

LolaMoon · 27/12/2022 21:27

Zax · 27/12/2022 21:18

With respect, you don't know them so you're on no position to judge or comment. It's complicated!

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OP asked for opinions and this is mine. If you can’t afford drinks at the very least for your guests then don’t play it off as a reception. It’s not. It’s cheap and rude.

Zax · 27/12/2022 21:34

LolaMoon · 27/12/2022 21:27

OP asked for opinions and this is mine. If you can’t afford drinks at the very least for your guests then don’t play it off as a reception. It’s not. It’s cheap and rude.

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Good job that you weren't invited then. All that suffering you'd have had to go through.

LolaMoon · 27/12/2022 21:38

Zax · 27/12/2022 21:34

Good job that you weren't invited then. All that suffering you'd have had to go through.

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Yes it was. I’m glad I wasn’t!

Original poster
TheShellBeach · 27/12/2022 21:39

Zax · 27/12/2022 20:43

The B&G made it very plain to all invitees that it was going to be low key and that they couldn't afford to put on food. Sorry, to be blunt and probably state the obvious, but that's how it was. They are going through tough times.

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That is not true.

OP posts:
ReallyTryingTo · 27/12/2022 21:42

Each to their own, but I do think getting you to pay for own curry is strange being that you say they are pretty good money wise.

Againstmachine · 27/12/2022 21:46

Zax · 27/12/2022 21:18

With respect, you don't know them so you're on no position to judge or comment. It's complicated!

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Unless you tell us more either put up or shut up and stop by with the mysterious they couldn't afford crap.

BelleMarionette · 27/12/2022 21:50

Zax · 27/12/2022 20:05

Actually you're not in a position to judge whether its 'exceptionally rude'. I'm am, and I can tell you that he OP is exaggerating the whole event and shares the minority view amongst all the guests. Attention seeking if you ask me, and judging by some of the pathetic responses here, it's working.

Show quote history

In which case, why did they ask for gifts, if they weren't providing anything for the 'guests'? I use the term loosely, as there was no hosting