Worst Wedding Reception Ever?

[TheShellBeach]

I am still trying to get my head round this one.

It was a friend's wedding last week and they happy couple invited twelve people to their reception.

After the ceremony (which was lovely) we went back to the couple's house.

There was no wedding cake. No drinks. We made ourselves cups of tea and coffee.

Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order.

After we'd eaten and tidied up, the newlyweds asked us to leave because they were tired.......................no speeches, no fun, no dancing, no music and NO FOOD provided.

AIBU to think this was the worst wedding reception ever?

Yep @Arseulaundress 😂.
I may have missed out on the strip twister shenanigans, but I was involved in a rather steamy story which will be revealed later in the book. 😉

Pay attention @Ursuladevine because you do get a mention in chapter 4. 😉

I’ll take a punt @zax…. You don’t have a partner or children? Live alone?! Because surely by now someone, someone, in your life has gently said… @Zax it raised a smile at first, and now it’s truly cringe worthy

Waiting for the “funny” retort! 😂

@Ursuladevine Your punt lost badly, honestly couldn't be further from the truth. 😃
Anyway, back to more important things. You may not have attended the 'wedding of the year' in reality but in my parallel universe you were there and guess what.....you were very naughty and got caught. 😉
Of course you could unsubscrive from this thread but I'll take a punt that curiosity will ger the better of you. 😉

Ah, a touch thin skinned when someone suggests they aren’t funny. Noted!

I take it back.

I suspect you are the office comedian @Zax !!

@Ursuladevine, I thank you so much,
But, I'm not a comedian as such
A Limerick for you,
And guess what, I knew
That your nerve has suffered a touch!
😃

But I know I’m not funny and I’ve not tried to be!

I was agreeing with you…. I truly believe you are the office comedian. And you should be proud of that. Always nice to have a laugh with colleagues!

@Ursuladevine I know that and totally agree. Life is too short not to laugh. I do enjoy a good limerick that's why I wrote a quick one for you, no more than just having a laugh I assure you.
Happiest of New Years to you and yours!

Oh thank you!

Skilled at constructing limericks and a comedian… your colleagues are spoilt!

Ewwww

who has a brew with a curry ??? Disgusting some peeps

"Bill, did you order me one too?" "Well Jonathan me ol' pal, your wife is over there by the pool table, so you had better hide upstairs" Jonathan went back upstairs and left Bill to explain everything to his wife. The barmaid, Michelle was eavesdropping and couldn't resist but ask Bill if he needed any help. Soon after, Michelle was chatting to Josephine, Jonathan's better half and here's the twist, turns out that Josephine 'catches both buses' which is why her and Michelle were seen locked in a deep snog which seemed never ending. They both went upstairs, which gave Jonathan his opportunity to escape from the situation. Both the guys scarpered and found a hotel to stay in just a few miles down the road. After checking in they decided to head down to the spa to chill out for a while and chew the cud. Jonathan admitted that he knew about Josephine's bisexuality and further confessed that they had twice engaged in a threesome. After a nice relax, it was time for a quick nightcap before hitting the hay. The following morning both of them set off early in search of the elusive bride and Chris the Uber driver. Ir was just four miles down the road when they got pulled over by the old bill and failed a breathalyser. Back at the nick Bill was confined to a cell until such time that the alcohol levels on his blood were at the legal levels. Jonathan waited patiently, but guess who waltzed in brazen as ever.........
To be continued.

Zax, the sex forum is elsewhere...

I would have left after ordering extra hot curry and telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine. Plus I'd completely ghost them. Unbelievable 😵‍💫😖

I would have left after ordering extra hot curry and telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine. Plus I'd completely ghost them. Unbelievable 😵‍💫😖

On MN there are always some people would be grateful to be coughed upon.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=L-NSPhLHIBA

It seems @Arseulaundress has read
Something as smut in this thread
It's all very clean
So get some caffeine
Then sit back as it's full steam ahead.

No idea what's going on anymore

Didn't you read???

.....Jonathan waited patiently when who should walk into the waiting area? None other than @Ursuladevine, the bride who was sobbing her heart out. Jonathan hadn't seen her since she was a little girl so didn't recognise her. She told the sergeant that she was lost and distressed, he comforted her and got her to calm down and stop sobbing then she gave him her name. Jonathan's ears pricked up and quickly realised that she was Bill's daughter. He asked her if she remembered him but she didn't which made things worse, especially knowing how her dad ended up getting arrested. He took a deep breath and spilled all which started off the sobbing again. She begged the sergeant to see her dad but protocol would not allow visits of detained people. Jonathan and @Ursuladevine waited patiently and whilst they talked about old times. Meanwhile back at the party @Arseulaundress was sad and lonely as her loving husband had not been seen for a few hours. She had polished off two bottles of red on her own to help with her sadness, but it had the opposite effect. Most of the curry was left in the kitchen uneaten, so Timmy the groom's cousin encouraged @Arseulaundress to eat some cold tikka madras to help soak up the booze. Timmy quite fancied her but was a shy lad who mostly found himself feeling uncomfortable talking to attractive ladies. Out of the blue, he told her that she was very attractive. She was flattered that such a handsome man would make such a compliment to her. She told him in no uncertain words that she's happily married and not interested. Sobered up a tad, she reached for the bottle and poured herself another glass of red. Timmy got himself a can of beer out of the fridge and they talked for hours. One thing led to another and he tried to kiss her on the lips, she couldn't resist and soon they were embraced in a very passionate kiss. What happened next?
To to continued......

......soon they were embraced in a very passionate kiss. @SoCal103 shouted 'you can stuff it where the sun don't shine' which shocked Timmy who paused and looked at @SoCal103 . Looking at the chicken vindaloo in her hand he knew what she meant. @Arseulaundress was a little disappointed that they were interupteted yet relieved that her fidelity was still intact. Back at the police station Bill had been released from custody, so he Jonathan and @Ursuladevine headed off for some lunch at the local Beefeater as recommended by Sergeant Horley. Bill was so relieved to have finally found his loving daughter, yet still mystified about her disappearance with Chris the Uber driver. Once she explained how terribly upset she was that her new husband embezzled the curry funds he understood and said he would help with her desire to annul the wedding. A quick Google and the race was on to find a suitable lawyer, luckily Bartholemew of Huskins, Hoskins and Hiskins was on call, so they ordered a cab to his office in the centre of Bath. Did they get there in time? To be continued.....

It turns out that Bartholemew is extremely well connected and knew a highly skilled team of digital detectives. They quickly got to work scouring social media and various forums whereupon they stumbled on a thread started by @TheShellBeach . This gave them several leads which ultimately led them to realise that she was pregnant with the groom's baby. On further investigation it all made total sense as to why she had an axe to grind. The whinging about the curry at the party was no more than a smoke screen to vent her hatred and jealousy for the bride. Great news for @Ursuladevine as Bartholemew now had grounds for the marriage annulment. Meanwhile back at the party @Arseulaundress and Timmy were once agsin left alone in the kitchen as several of the guests had gone to the Hare and Hounds for a few cocktails as they were doing a buy one get one free offer. Timmy, as you know is a shy lad and had always felt uncomfortable talking to pretty ladies, but things were different with @Arseulaundress and deep down she felt the same. They switched on the high end coffee machine and brewed themselves a well needed freshly ground cappuccino with chocolate sprinkles. Staring into each other's eyes as they sipped at the coffee, tensions were rising and so were their heart beats.
To be continued.....

Jesus zax you have an imagination

@Againstmachine
Writing a fable or two,
Is not such a massive breakthrough
But to keep it intense,
With firey suspense
Will stop all the folk passing through.