Worst Wedding Reception Ever?

[TheShellBeach]

I am still trying to get my head round this one.

It was a friend's wedding last week and they happy couple invited twelve people to their reception.

After the ceremony (which was lovely) we went back to the couple's house.

There was no wedding cake. No drinks. We made ourselves cups of tea and coffee.

Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order.

After we'd eaten and tidied up, the newlyweds asked us to leave because they were tired.......................no speeches, no fun, no dancing, no music and NO FOOD provided.

AIBU to think this was the worst wedding reception ever?

I know it was you. Zax had accused you of having some sense. I was merely paraphrasing the "sense" that you'd spouted.

Zax · 26/12/2022 19:00

ortonym · 26/12/2022 18:51

The guests were a "miserable bunch"? That takes the biscuit.

Hang on... it was your wedding, wasn't it?
Yep.
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Zax · Yesterday 18:36
I know who the hosts were and they are skint. SMALL WORLD.

Which is it?
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Zax · 26/12/2022 18:45

ortonym · 26/12/2022 18:24

 That's your idea of a party? No music, no dancing, no drink, food only if you       bought it yourself (and I think the guests did that out of politeness). Don't think   the B&G enjoyed it much, either, as they shooed everybody out, after the food was eaten "because they were tired".

I'd have shooed them all out too. Miserable bunch!
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Zax · Yesterday 20:05

BelleMarionette · Yesterday 19:52

Not an excuse. If they couldn't afford to host guests then they shouldn't have had them.

Asking guests to come and asking for gifts, without warning people they would need to pay and not even offering gifts is exceptionally rude.
Actually you're not in a position to judge whether its 'exceptionally rude'. I'm am, and I can tell you that he OP is exaggerating the whole event and shares the minority view amongst all the guests. Attention seeking if you ask me, and judging by some of the pathetic responses here, it's working.

So you'd have shooed all the guests out because they were a miserable bunch except that the majority weren't, and you were one of them.
Clear as mud.
As you are close(r) to the couple you may be able to jog OPs memory as to why groom's father didn't go.

Arseulaundress, I'm filing for a quick divorce. I've just had an email from MavisMcMinty telling me that you got involved in a gang bang whilst waiting for the curry to arrive. Now your secret is out, what have you got to say for yourself?

A lot of people on here saying they'd be ok with that - well, maybe, but probably only if they'd expected it beforehand. Getting 'guests' to pay for their own takeaway curry and only having tea seems cheeky as fuck to me, but hey-ho.

PS - I assume this has been picked up by paper by now?

Heh - I almost asked Mumsnet to delete my “I shagged Zax” post, so very glad to see it was taken in the spirit I intended.

It's easily identifiable because it's an unusual reception, and it's so unusual because it's unusually terrible.

The groom's father got caught shaggging the bride two weeks previously so couldn't show his face at the party. I mean, would you have? Do keep up with the gossip. Oh, and she's pregnant probably with dad's baby, so that makes for an interesting twist to the saga. They should make this whole affair into a soap opera.

TheShellBeach where were you when the bride was caught in the shower with your husband? Missed that little moment didn't you? 🤔

But you paid for yours!

Absolutely! Anyway, back to the gossip. Did you know that the groom's second cousin removed is a prolific drug dealer? He got stopped by the cops on the way to the wedding and was five times over the drug drive limit. Poor chap had just snorted 4 lines of cocaine and shot a jab of heroine into his arm. His dad has paid the bail money so he's home now but facing court in three weeks time. This wedding was a car crash, but at least there's enough drama to make a decent story for the readers of this thread. There is a lot more, so be patient and all will be revealed. Do you by any chance know of any intersting goings-on that you could tell us? Do tell, please. 🙏

Wait...you shagged Zax? I'm married to Zax and I am going to fight you..

Judging by some people's accounts of awful wedding receptions where people do fight one another, I think that a fight at this particular one would have made it a good deal more interesting.

Unless we'd been asked to pay to watch, of course.

Of course there was fighting and plenty of it. Did you not see the bride's cousin punch Jack the butler on the nose? He's now got two black eyes and his wife is furious that he got caught snogging the bride in the downstairs loo. She's furious that he got caught, not because he did it. That's because they have a very open relationship, so she was up to some naughty stuff too. Quite a steamy 50 shades of gray type story, but more on that soon.......

It's rumoured that the Uber Driver, Chris who delivered the curry was in the house for two hours. Does anyone know what he got up to?

I've just heard that some of the guests has a bad case of the trots after the Indian meal. It's been traced back to the chicken and could be linked to other cases of salmonella reported in Skegness. Meanwhile, have you heard about Bart the gardener who took advantage of Babs the cook whilst she was cooking up something steamy for the happy couple? More to follow...........

Turns out that Jack's nose was broken and that he needs surgery to straighten it so that he can breathe properly. Flo is fed up with the snoring, so she's hoping that they'll get him booked in early next year. Anyway, more gossip....turns out that the bride spent two hours in the billiard room making passionate love to the Uber driver to pay for the curry as the groom had spent all the collected funds on his gambling addiction with BET365. She thrn jumped in the car with him when the steam ran out and had not been seen since. On a lost person's page she is described as 5 foot 6, having long blonde hair and a perfect ten figure with 38EE breasts. No wonder the Uber driver fell for her and then swept her away to...............[keep tuned folks, there's more to this than meets the eye].

God that's so weird! Even weirder that their parents didn't even go. And that the only 12 guests they could muster up involved a distant relative they'd met once. How much in advance did they give you the invite?

Also, this is now in the mirror BTW.

Look, can you blame me? I was bored to tears and someone suggested a game of strip twister in the spare bedroom.

No, the pay per view thing was suggested by the groom when he discovered the gang bang.

As for me doing it before the curry arrived - I'd hardly do it on a full stomach, would I?🙄

Bit unusual, but fine.

It's the B & Gs "special day". So within reason, they can do what they like.

TBH, I'd be buzzing to go to a reception like this. A curry then piss off? Sounds great! Receptions are usually long and boring!

The saga continues:
Several of the guests were playing twister when it turned into the adult version, so infidelity was rife in the house.
For those following this story, the book will be called 'Four divorces and a wedding'.
So what happened to the father of the bride I hear you ask? Well, he went in search of his daughter, who you may remember absconded with Chris the Uber driver. On his travels he bumped into an an old pal from school. One thing led to another and they were soon propping up the bar in the infamous Rose and Crown. As they became more drunk the ladies walking past them in their very short skirts and suspenders were starting to make advances towards them. Dad just couldn't resist any longer, so he handed over his fifty quid and disappeared upstairs walking behind Catrina at a distance which gave him the nicest view. Exactly thirty minutes later she called time on him and he headed back to the bar, only to find that his pal, Jonathan had left his seat. He asked the barman, who just winked and looked towards the stairs and the red light. Jonathan's wife was a local detective sergeant who was very much au fait with the local goings-on and who's who. By coincidence she had just been assigned to go undercover as a prostitute at the Rose and Crown. Bill, the bride's dad quickly recognised her which made him feel very awkward. Luckily for him she didn't acknowledge him in any way, but he was extremely worried that Jonathan may walk downstairs with Bernadette at the wrong time. Bill ordered a double whisky on the rocks to steady his nerves. He heard steps coming down the stairs but just couldn't look. He heard Jonathan's voice call "Bill, did you......."
To be continued....

Bet you regard yourself as the “comedian” at work @Zax
😂

In the making. 😉 Hope you enjoy the saga as it continues to unfold @Ursuladevine 😀

Yep. No attention seeking going on here.

At least some fun was had as a result of this wedding - even if it's only Zax. 😄

I read your first and then scanned the rest tbh.