Husband lay on sofa when I shouted Help

[darkbluenails]

This has been bugging me all week. A few days ago I was in the back garden alone, went over on my ankle and fell against a sharp bit of wood causing my arm to bleed quite badly and me end up in a pile on the ground.

As I fell I shouted, then I lay on the ground shouting help. OH was just on the other side of the door watching telly, instead of getting up he told our 8 year old to go see what I wanted. 8yo came out and got upset as saw all the blood which by now was all over my top. He helped me up, hobbled inside and OH still lying on the sofa, no effort at all to see what was wrong.

I'm so angry as he heard me, I've never shouted Help before so it's not like a Peter cries wolf regular thing and he must havev heard the urgency in my voice. When I asked why he didn't come out he said "I didn't know why you were shouting". WTF?! As if I would have to inform him what my emergency would be for him to move.

AIBU being annoyed about this? I could have been lying with an artery severed for all he knew.

Has he apologised for being so unhelpful?
Get better soon.

Yes blame women for the shitty behaviour of men.

I would support any woman refusing to put up with it, that does not make her responsible for the man's behaviour.

Wow! This place is like the twilight zone sometimes. If I heard anyone shout for help, I’d take it at face value and assist as quickly as possible!

Pronounce on a op??
Did you take the time to read my advice to op??
Far better than your divorce advice. People are human. They make mistakes. You’ll end up very lonely with your attitude to cut people off after one small error.

I think my opinion is a bit clouded because it reminds me of my mum who is super over dramatic about everything. It’s draining.

I'm curious when people post this kind of reply. I mean obviously you're being deliberately unpleasant but are you also confused about the purpose of this website? It's purpose is for people to post their general life stories and get advice. That is what OP has done. When you read the website you can look for stories you find interesting or where you think you can offer useful advice and reply to them. This isn't a website for seeking detailed legal or tax advice it's general life stuff. I mean obviously you're also allowed to make unhelpful barbed comments too if you feel unhappy in your life and want to onload that grief elsewhere but that's not actually what the mumsnet was designed for so OP's actually using the website for it's intended purpose and you're not.

Fair enough! I hear you, it’s hard when you are around people who are like that, you have my sympathies. Thanks for answering. 😊

And I agree with everyone asking wtf is wrong with people here.

I agree too, can't believe people try and downplay how nasty and spiteful mumsnet can be.

Sad is such an understatement for this, Violet. Your 6yo is dealing with things she shouldn't have to, and if that's a repeated pattern through her childhood then this could set her up to put other people's needs above her own, making her much more likely to settle with someone like her dad herself.

Find your anger! And if this is an ongoing pattern, protect your child.

I can’t imagine shouting help and my DH not coming to see if I’m ok. He sounds either like a lazy bastard or just really uncaring. Either way, it’s not great!

OP I would not forgive this. What a horrible man.

This would have me seeing him in a totally different light OP. My DH would have come running and we both tend to look for each other if we haven't seen each other for a while too.

As a PP put it, where's the benefit of him? If he doesn't respond when you are injured, what's the point of him?

Oh give over. She said OP should think about if it's a one off or an ongoing pattern.

I think you’ve spectacularly missed the point here. It’s not about whether the op was actually totally incapacitated or not, it’s about the fact that she could have been and her DH didn’t give a shit. Yes, perhaps she was a bit dramatic, but sometimes, in the moment, you’re not sure how bad something is.

OP, I’d be pissed off too. I would absolutely hope that anyone who loved me, husband, parent, friend would want to come and check if I was ok in similar circumstances.

There's a difference between someone shouting Arrrgh or Help. If someone shouts for help, they need help. No-one should ignore another person shouting for help.

OP was shocked and in pain. Of course she shouted. Have you ever gone over on your ankle? It's bliddy agonising - couple that with the blood and of course she wanted help. For all she knew that ankle was broken.

It was only as the pain eased and as she tried to minimise her distress so as not to frighten her child, that she managed to get to her feet.

OP your husband is a total tw*t and I would be furious if my DH did this to me.

“When things have calmed down over christmas you might want to decide if your twatty husband is someone you want to spend your life with and, more importantly, if he is a good role model for your son.”

that is what I was responding to. Ridiculous.

Agree. Waste of space.

What is the rest of life with him like?

Everyone’s different growing up my mum was always the crack on your fine
never off school always sent as if we were really ill they would send us home illness is inconvenience

that is how I was brought up and that’s how I am
I would of found the whole episode dramatic but shouting for help when you could clearly manage to get up just seems unnecessary

I would guess that he probably thought nothing that major could happen to you pottering around in the garden. But if you were covered in blood when you came in then I would expect him to sit up and take notice.

I do think your husband was mean. But if it makes you feel better in the summer I passed out in the garden by the kitchen window, I knew it was happening so I called out for help, DH didn't hear me, didn't see me go down and the only creature who did was the dog who came and dropped a tennis ball on me as I came round 🤣.

In fairness though, I think it's highly unlikely that these men started out like that. I'm sure they waited until they were in committed relationships, probably with financial entanglements and kids so it makes it much harder to leave and then gradually wore them down with lack of care.

What annoys me is that often the pull yourself together types are actually married to caring men. That's what often seems unfair; they should be married to arseholes, as they seem to take the caring for granted anyway.

For Pete's sake people, the OP wasn't showing "Help" into the void, she was shouting so that her husband would pause watching television to assist her. Otherwise honestly what's the point of him?

If my partner or I hear a crash or a yell, we'll naturally go and make sure the other person is okay. Even if there's something interesting on TV. Because we're normal.

It's not funny. I turned over on my weak ankle and broke my wrist in the fall. You can bet I called for help and I'd be gutted if my husband hadn't cared enough to look up from the telly.