Would you say I’m a crap wife?

[Xmasiscomingg]

Hubby came down with some flu like thing shivers and migraine yesterday. I got up with him at 2 in the morning and made him tea remedy with lemon oranges garlic. Stayed up with him until half 4. Baby woke up at 5 for bottle then again at 6 for nappy change. Then I was up at 8 put all the washing away got dressed and went food shopping with baby 2 older kids stayed with him.

Back home tidied up as they trashed the downstairs whilst I was out and then I done dinner for everyone. I feel like he wants me to nurse him back to health but at the end of the day I’ve got a million other things to do.

he lied in bed all day sleep and on his phone, all I asked of him was to take the 2 oldest upstairs to bed. They had already put their pyjamas on and done their teeth. He’s got so much energy to shout at me and sit on his phone for hours. But when I’m ill in bed he will ask me what’s for dinner and palm the baby of to me!!

AIBU? He is saying he’s going to expose me to his mum because I don’t care about him and I’m not looking after him properly 🤣🤣

I was delirious too and mine turned to a pneumonic chest infection – at one point my GP was talking about admitting me to hospital for oxygen. I'm a little shocked at how unsympathetic people are being.

Ask him if he prefers a crap wife and brilliant mother as you are prioritising the children or a good wife and neglected children. He's an adult, tell him to act like one or go live with mummy!

Tell him his Mum is welcome to have him back. What a twat!

But where in the OP does it say he was delirious? She said he slept then played on his phone and then yelled at her. That does not sound like the nasty flu bug that wipes people out at all.

He is saying he’s going to expose me to his mum

Haha tell him to crack on. Hopefully she will read him the riot act about being a selfish man-baby.

You've done more than enough. He's just got the sniffles FFS.

So he has a cold

a x now he’s going to tell mummy you are a bad wife

so…

this can’t be new behaviour

why BE with a man like this

why have MANY children with him

why?

On second thought…. if someone made me an orange-garlic drink I’d also tell my mum! 🤮

If my DS 'exposed' my DDIL for not looking after him he would get a clip round the ear and told to grow up.
Honestly I despair sometimes. Tell him to bugger off!

He's going to tel his mum on you?
I'd have laughed in his face.
As soon as he is better, take to your bed with illness and dont do a thing for him, the kids or the baby. Nothing at all. And ring a bell for tea every half hour.

He needs to go home to his Mama clearly.

I'd ring his mother and tell her to come and get him. he obviously needs more TLC than a hard-*rsed bugger like you is prepared to give him. You obviously JUST DON'T CARE and anyway only a Mother's Love can get a bloke thought something as serious as this.

Pack his toys and a jam sandwich so he has something to eat/play with in the car as she takes him back to his childhood bedroom (which has probably been maintained as some sort of shire in his absence . . . ). (You can have him back when he's mended.)

And then have a long hard think about What Sort Of Wife You Are.

<shakes head>

<tuts>

*shrine, not shire

He isn't a Hobbit, I assume

This.

They keep a ward ready prepared no matter how busy they get, because they know how serious this can be.

You are not a crap wife, but he is a crap husband and his mother is welcome to him.

I really must be a crap wife, as if my husband had woken me up with shivering and man flu, I'd have moved straight into the spare room and let him get on with being mortally ill.

Yup - give yourself an early xmas present and dump the lazy arse

I'd love to know what he does when you're sick, and whether you tell your dad on him if he's not willing to be a sleepless martyr for you.

You're not a hired nurse. He's not a child. If DH is ill I bring him the odd cup of tea in the day, that's it.

Expose you to his Mum? You must be quaking in your boots! 😂

If he's normally a decent bloke, perhaps we can put this down to him feeling extremely miserable, but based on what you've said - I do wonder.. How kind are you feeling? If you are feeling kind you could try treating him like a toddler and explaining very gently that you do care about him and you are sorry he's feeling crap but that you are busy keeping it all together whilst he lies in bed, alternatively, you could tell him to fuck right off to his Mum's! I know which way I would be leaning!

If my son told me his wife wasn't looking after him when he had a cold, my sole reaction would be "And?". If he expected me to tell her off, at least it would give me a good laugh.

If he's fevery time in bed sounds fair enough (and he should do the same for you when you're sick). Being nursed back to health and having someone sitting up with you all night is fucking ridiculous. He can grab a lemsip himself and supervise the older kids from the sofa.

You're not a crap wife, he sounds like a poor excuse for a husband though.

You stayed up with him for 2 hours, what the hell for when you have a baby to care for. Did you give birth to him ? Tell him to go tell his mother whatever he likes and to move back in with her if he wants nursing. What a joker. He's got flu, a cold even. He needs training OP, training to be a man. But you're not alone, I hear many similar stories, but no, you are not a bad wife.

"He is saying he’s going to expose me to his mum because I don’t care about him and I’m not looking after him properly 🤣🤣"

Wowza. You should have said you have 3 children, not 2.

He is a proper knobhead. Tell him you've exposed him to half of Mumsnet and we all think he's a big baby and needs to get a grip.

Expose you to his mum? Is he 8? Tell him to fuck off back to mummy until he has grown up a bit.

I have a similar husband!! When he catches whatever bug either I had, or our 5 year old DD had he is SO much worse off. The grunting and moaning, forced coughing, pisses me right off. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and sympathy for a day, maybe 2, but after then I have zero patience!

My husband is a big mummy’s boy and has been spoilt rotten by her (he’s never had to do a chore in his life, probably never heard the word no, when he moved back in after splitting with his ex in his early 20’s his mum made his bed, did his washing, made his packed lunch, the lot!!!!), and when we go over to theirs when he’s “semi-recovered”, he’ll joke to her (I hope it’s joking!) that he’s not had any attention off me bla bla bla. I’m sorry that we have a daughter and that I work, and that I’m also pregnant and cleaning up after everyone!

FFS I hope you packed his bag and rang his mum to come pick him up before he dies!