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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you say I’m a crap wife?

160 replies

Xmasiscomingg · 20/12/2022 22:19

Hubby came down with some flu like thing shivers and migraine yesterday. I got up with him at 2 in the morning and made him tea remedy with lemon oranges garlic. Stayed up with him until half 4. Baby woke up at 5 for bottle then again at 6 for nappy change. Then I was up at 8 put all the washing away got dressed and went food shopping with baby 2 older kids stayed with him.

Back home tidied up as they trashed the downstairs whilst I was out and then I done dinner for everyone. I feel like he wants me to nurse him back to health but at the end of the day I’ve got a million other things to do.

he lied in bed all day sleep and on his phone, all I asked of him was to take the 2 oldest upstairs to bed. They had already put their pyjamas on and done their teeth. He’s got so much energy to shout at me and sit on his phone for hours. But when I’m ill in bed he will ask me what’s for dinner and palm the baby of to me!!

AIBU? He is saying he’s going to expose me to his mum because I don’t care about him and I’m not looking after him properly 🤣🤣

OP posts:
MyBooksAndMyCats · 20/12/2022 22:42

Expose you to his mum. 😂😂😂😂

If that was my child - I'd be telling him straight lol!

Hugasauras · 20/12/2022 22:43

Wife isn't a job title.

Oysterbabe · 20/12/2022 22:44

I got up with him at 2 in the morning and made him tea remedy with lemon oranges garlic.
I would have shouted at mine for waking me up so I reckon you're doing OK.

WaddleAway · 20/12/2022 22:47

Dacadactyl · 20/12/2022 22:37

I think he is being daft when he says "he's going to expose you to his mum", but as ever, tone is everything. So, it'd depend how he said it iyswim.

I do think he IBU though and I don't faff about with my husband when he's ill.

I don’t think there’s a reasonable tone in which to say ‘I’ll expose you to my mum’ is there?

Sparklesocks · 20/12/2022 22:53

Christ. Do you wipe his bum bum for him too?

qpmz · 20/12/2022 22:55

You stayed up with him for 2.5hrs in the middle of the night??? Making the tea is a nice thing but what did you do after that? literally sit there wiping his forehead? You've got a baby and sleep is precious, do not waste time sitting with an adult with a run of the mill illness!

Dacadactyl · 20/12/2022 23:04

WaddleAway · 20/12/2022 22:47

I don’t think there’s a reasonable tone in which to say ‘I’ll expose you to my mum’ is there?

Show quote history

Yeah, of course there is! This could easily be said in a jokey tone which shows he's not actually annoyed and knows he's being unreasonable.

Dello · 20/12/2022 23:22

What a threat!
Honestly though wouldn’t be sitting up with him for hours in the night unless there is some other concern. Maybe he remembers his Mum being there in the night when he was a child!

NameChagaiiiin · 20/12/2022 23:25

Bestcatmum · 20/12/2022 22:24

Tell him to bloody grow up. He's not 5 years old. Maybe his mum would like to move in and take care of her baby.

Better still, he can move out and back to his mummy for some cuddles.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 20/12/2022 23:27

I dont understand what he actually wants you to do. Someone with flu and a migraine needs fluids, painkillers and rest. Ok you could get him fluids and painkillers if he is really too ill to get out of bed...that takes 5 min. What on earth were you doing for him between 2am and 4.30am. Seriously someone who expects you to stay awake for hours, purely and for no other reason than they are awake, is abusive.

watcherintherye · 20/12/2022 23:27

made him tea remedy with lemon oranges garlic.

I’m sorry, I couldn’t get past this. It sounds vile! Does it work?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 20/12/2022 23:28

So no I'd say you've done a lot more than 99pc of wives would have done. But he still wants to tell on you...

VioletLemon · 20/12/2022 23:28

Stop changing his nappies. Tell his Mum to come round so she can mop his brow at 3am. Bugger that.

Jellybean23 · 20/12/2022 23:33

I'd have laughed in his face, the prat. Tell him to go back to mummy if he wants to be a little boy. Do you realise you have four children and not three?
You've already done too much for him.

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 20/12/2022 23:33

Tell him to fuck off back to his mum then as you already have 3 kids to care for and if he wants to behave like a kid go home to his mummy!

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2022 23:38

You have a crap husband.

I suggest that the next time you are ill you decamp somewhere else. He can abdicate due to illness? Well so the hell can you.

Ellie56 · 20/12/2022 23:45

He sounds like a massive tit. How unattractive.

Mouldyfoodhelp · 20/12/2022 23:48

Has someone collectively gone round to other MNers houses and shit in their cereal and I missed it? I personally took the expose thing as a joke, obviously he's being a pain in the arse but a lot of these responses seem overblown

Greyarea12 · 20/12/2022 23:48

He's going to expose you to his Mum for not taking care of him as you would a child? That's the problem right there ... a man child. What a turn off. I don't quite understand why your sitting up with him until 4am though, he's not one of your kids (even though he is acting like it)

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 20/12/2022 23:51

Oh god. I know this is passive aggressively 'lighthearted', but I despair of these 'isn't my husband an incompetent twat teehee' threads.

He's your husband, up to you if you want this wanker to be your forever person.

TerraNostra · 20/12/2022 23:51

watcherintherye · 20/12/2022 23:27

made him tea remedy with lemon oranges garlic.

I’m sorry, I couldn’t get past this. It sounds vile! Does it work?

Me neither. Sounds like she tried to make him throw up! Yuck.

AtrociousCircumstance · 20/12/2022 23:53

You chose very poorly when you chose a partner.

He’s a pathetic selfish little shit. Enjoy.

BabyFour2023 · 20/12/2022 23:55

Did he actually say “expose you to my mum”
What a massive dick. Tell him to suck it up and make his own lemon tea the prick.

Aftersevens · 21/12/2022 00:01

“Expose you to his mum”!!!!!
What’s he going to say? “Mummy, she’s being mean to me”?
What a twat.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/12/2022 00:05

Why would you get up with him and stay up with him in the night? I don’t think my teenager would even think to wake me in the night because she felt ill, unless it was a massive emergency requiring medical attention.

The rest of his behaviour is just as ridiculous. Yes you need rest when you’re ill, but if there’s a baby and other small children involved, you can’t expect a complete cop out of all activity, let alone the children’s other parent to “nurse” you. And whatever is expected of you when he’s ill, should be mirrored by what he does for you when you’re ill.

”Telling his Mum” is just ludicrous.