Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my Christmas visitors to go out for a whole day!

146 replies

Flowerandmpower · 20/12/2022 13:20

Following on from my previous thread where i was feeling overwhelmed as visitors will be with us for at least 8 / 9 days over the festive period ..

I am feeling very tired .

I've taken advice .. like build in space and also To get some vitamins etc.

Would it be rude to ask them to go out for a day so I can rest up / just have sone quiet? And if so , is there a nice way of saying .. I love you but leave me alone for a day or inwill go mad .?
I struggle . Worry will offend . / upset .

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 20/12/2022 13:21

Um no I wouldn't say you can do this.
. If it's too much they shouldn't be staying that long

HIC2020 · 20/12/2022 13:22

Is there anything going on locally like Christmas markets or events you could suggest they go to? Or maybe a stately home or something similar for a visit?

TokyoSushi · 20/12/2022 13:22

I don't think that you can force them out. But you could go out for a few hours if there are others at home to entertain them, or could somebody else take them out for a while?

Logginglogger · 20/12/2022 13:22

No I am sorry,you cannot do this,

you can however go out, even book a hotel room and sit in it alone if it’s that bad, I’d also say next time if you can’t cope you have to decline them coming

SomethingOriginal2 · 20/12/2022 13:22

No. You can't tell people to just go somewhere. You could book them a nice activity as a "gift". Can't you go out? Or go to your room?

Pearls1234 · 20/12/2022 13:22

No, you can’t allow them to stay and then make them leave for a day! You’re going to have to suck it up and maybe next time don’t agree to such a long visit. Sorry, I know it’s a pain.

Mummyratbag · 20/12/2022 13:23

Not read the other thread, but I would have a few early nights where I retreat to my room to eat chocolate and fiddle with my phone read

Jimboscott0115 · 20/12/2022 13:24

I think it's really difficult to ask them to leave for a day, however I also think it's perfectly reasonable for you to go out for a day... Take a walk, visit a friend, go to the gym/swim if that's your thing or simply just go somewhere quiet and 'be' are fine in my opinion. You can't be expected to hand hold everyone for 8/9 days so I think you're well within your rights to have some time to yourself.

astronewt · 20/12/2022 13:26

It's not really practical to expect people to leave for a whole day over the festive period. Where will they go, exactly?! There's no place other than a home that you can stay all day in the depths of winter. If it's too much for them to stay for the whole time, and I don't blame you for feeling it is, you probably just need to make the whole stay shorter.

If you asked me that I'd solve your problem by going home, tbh.

SomethingOriginal2 · 20/12/2022 13:27

Just looked at your other thread. The guests you have are your daughter and her partner, and your son?

I don't understand the problem to be honest, they're just your kids why do you need a day at home without them all?

Christmasnero · 20/12/2022 13:27

Yes obviously that would be rude

can you suggest fun things though, like oh you must go see x whilst you’re here
if you’d like me to drop you in town so you can spend the day shopping do let me know
and so on

or you go out for the day

I would likely go out for long last minute urgent must do shopping trips myself and have leisurely coffee and lunch breaks alone.
or I would be very tired by about 7pm most evenings and go to my room

Logginglogger · 20/12/2022 13:29

Sorry I just read the other thread, it’s your own kids?

Hugasauras · 20/12/2022 13:31

No you can't ask that. Just go to your room for a few hours? When we stay with my parents no one is being micromanaged, people are free to go to their rooms, have a nap, some space, whatever they want 🤷‍♀️

Oysterbabe · 20/12/2022 13:31

There is no polite way to say that. You'll have to be the one to go out.

Bestcatmum · 20/12/2022 13:32

Why on earth are you entertaining for so long? I could not stand it.
What I'd do is go off for a three hour nap every afternoon. A lot of people do this - my mother for example.
During that period people can help themselves to tea/coffee or read or watch tv or have a nap themselves.
Its a life saver.

gamerchick · 20/12/2022 13:33

Early nights and you going out for a bit sadly.

Next time 3 days 2 nights max.

Anonymous48 · 20/12/2022 13:34

I thought you were being reasonable, wanting to have some time to yourself when having visitors for such a long period - although I don't know how you could go about requesting it without being rude. But it's your own kids?😯

Wishihadanalgorithm · 20/12/2022 13:34

I don’t think you can ask them to do this but you can have a migraine and retreat to your bed with an iPad/tv, chocolate, snacks and various drinks. (Obviously not blatantly though).

Id need at least 24 hours to recover with the only visitor being someone to bring you food.

Irridescantshimmmer · 20/12/2022 13:34

You need to recharge your batteries OP so you don't frazzled.

Another thing you can do is ask your visitors if they will give you sone help with chores etc too, maybe delegate a little.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2022 13:36

The fact that these are your own kids, so this is their family home?, puts a different spin on it.
You, presumably, know them well. My dc know I need decompression time, and lots of it. Discuss it with them - decide what's best between you - they go out or you do?

frecklemcspeckles · 20/12/2022 13:36

You daughter and son are coming to their family home for Christmas... Surely they won't need entertaining for 8 or 9 days and you can largely leave them to it for most of the time like I imagine you could if you still lived together?? The partner will be the responsibility of your daughter. For the 3 day period his mother is there then there may be more entertaining required but again the onus is on your daughter to be the main focus. If you're unwell, retreat to your room as needed. But this doesn't sound as onerous as 9 days of "entertaining" guests.

butterfliedtwo · 20/12/2022 13:38

You can't send your guests out for the entire day because you can't cope. Have some early nights and next time they come for half the time.

Beautiful3 · 20/12/2022 13:41

I'd just go to my room with an ipad and snacks.

ColinRobinsonsfamiliar · 20/12/2022 13:44

Am I missing something here, do you have a chronic illness or are you unwell?
I completely understand how shattered you are if that’s the case op.
Im sure your visitors will understand you wanting a day doing nothing as it’s your own kids. But they don’t need to go out anywhere for you to have a day off!
Tell them to sort their own food out then get a takeaway for tea!
simple.

Original poster
Flowerandmpower · 20/12/2022 13:46

No its not just my own dc .

OP posts: