Partners family not acknowledging my pregnancy ?

[girlshelpxx]

Hiya everyone, I want to know AIBU or do I have the right to feel upset? I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant (very early I know) It's our first baby and we are so excited. A few people already know including his family, they have known since I was 4 weeks ( we can't keep our mouths shut 🤣 ) he told them when I wasn't there , which I preferred tbh because we didn't know how they would react, I was told they reacted quiet well and they are happy. The few people that know gave me big hugs and congratulated me, except his family... I have seen them multiple times since them knowing and they haven't said anything to me, as if nothing is happening, me and his family have a good relationship and we talk all of the time, I just feel upset that they haven't acknowledged it ? is this normal for me to feel? when I say his family I mean his parents and his older sister who is 30! I see them most days during the week and I feel as if things are awkward because they won't mention it, I don't understand why they won't ? I did mention to my partner why they haven't said anything and he said "what are they supposed to say" which annoyed me because my parents give my partner a hug and congratulated us together , AIBU? xx

Clearly you have the intelligence to know that very few 18YO couples have the financial independence and the qualifications to not only raise a family of 6 children without any help whatsoever from their parents - but also travel with world with 6 children in tow, giving them amazing experiences at every turn.

If you have any sort of wit or wherewithal, you realise this is highly, highly unusual, and the OP almost certainly doesn’t fall into this incredibly niche, privileged group.

Your experience is so unique as to hardly be helpful or constructive to the discussion.

Have you heard of the phrase ‘the exception that proves the rule’?

As soon as I read your post I could just guess you were a similar age to my own dd - she’s is 19. I would be absolutely devastated if she announced she was pregnant. I’m sorry but that’s how I’d feel. She’s in her second year of university and whilst university isn’t for everyone (I didn’t go) I think at 18/19 you should be building your career, trying to build a future for yourself financially. No wonder his family aren’t pleased. It’s also extremely early to announce a pregnancy. Most people wait until at least 12/14 weeks for a reason.

I guess I just don't think we should assume OP isn't in a decent job and able to support 1 child. Presumably it was all planned and thought through as PP have said she was TTC rather than it was a surprise.

Good lord, 18 and 19. Good luck.

You’ve been desperate to conceive for months and it’s happened, you don’t need other people to validate it for you.

Hopefully he’s as happy as you are and was aware you were ttc.

Expecting his family to be jumping for joy when it sounds like a chaotic relationship, he seems to live with them and they’re already feeding and accommodating you much of the week is unreasonable.

This was your idea, not theirs.

Oddly, she hasn’t been back to confirm that she’s in a good, solid job and - with her partner - able to support a family without assistance from either of their parents.

Assuming this ^^ all to be true, I’m surprised she’s not shouting it from the rooftops.

Fair point

I wouldn’t be happy at all if my 18yr old told me his girlfriend was pregnant. Not least because they are both in first year of a degree. I was a 16yr old teen mum. That’s why I definitely don’t want that for any of my kids. Love my son to bits. He’s 29 now but it made life so much more complicated than it needed to be. I want my kids to enjoy their youth, travel the world if they want, go out without babysitters, spend time finding the woman / man they want to marry.

That said I’d support them. But not sure what there is to say at this stage of pregnancy. I guess they don’t want to say congratulations. Which is fair enough really. Why be a hypocrite

Oh I’m sorry @girlshelpxx . You have taken on the ultimate responsibility without it seems taking any. Do you have your own home? Do you both work and can you afford to house & clothe & all the other necessities a baby will need? Yes, I’d be really disappointed if any of my children did this. Though yes, I would support them (emotionally). Many people also don’t discuss openly till at least 12 weeks and your inlaws may well be heeding this.

Congratulations, OP!

Perhaps they are really waiting for you to mention it as it is a delicate topic so early on in your pregnancy.

At your age there is nothing to be pissed of as such, you are not 15. Ideally they should be offering you help to sort things out if thats what you need and support you. If they are angry, thats their thing,not yours, unless you expect them to house you and pay for the baby etc.

Well, considering you're teenagers, both still live at home, you were saying back in June that your relationship is quite unhealthy, they're probably quite pissed off and worried!

Where are you going to live and how are you going to pay for it?

unless you expect them to house you and pay for the baby etc.

It took you all the way until the very end of your post to land on the crux of the issue.

Whilst I understand a lot of people are focusing on your ages and I can understand why. I fell pregnant at 20 with DS, everything worked out well and he’s a fantastic son, he’s now studying his A-levels.

“Highly qualified” and “well travelled” can be subjective, tbf

Op if things are still like this I think you really need to re evaluate the whole situation.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4580522-cant-cope-anymore-unhealthy-relationship?reply=118241343

I'd be disappointed if this was my son. Sorry. I would want more for him than to be a father at 19.

no one who had planned a baby would expect that though? If you plan a baby you plan how you're going to support them so I'm sure OP has it all worked out

"few people already know including his family, they have known since I was 4 weeks ( we can't keep our mouths shut 🤣 )" Being blunt I would be waiting until I was MUCH more mature to have a child. Is this planned? Have you got finances in order? Thought about mat leave, childcare, nursery/school places? Or do you think a baby is like a toy?

There’s your answer. Maybe they aren’t overly thrilled about this. Maybe they are worried about people who aren’t that far from kids themselves having kids. Maybe they weren’t anywhere near feeling like grandparents.

Or worried that they are going to be left picking up the pieces of immature decisions financially, at a time when a lot of people are struggling. Do you have jobs? Home? Money to support your choices? Or are they going to be leant on?

A lot of people would see this as an irresponsible move from 18/19 year olds.

What's your situation? School, university? What about your boyfriend?

Sorry but I agree with the many posters on here who commented on your ages.
If my DC came to me at 18/19 to tell me they were having a baby, I would have been disappointed and worried about their future. I guess that's how his family feel and are still digesting the news. I assume you're not at school or university.
However...I would also have supported them if they decided to keep the baby and be a family.

Congratulations and I hope it all works out for you x

How do your own parents feel about this OP?

Oh no just read the poster's post history. If your partner (?) was my son I'd be encouraging him to get out fast.

As I say, oddly, the OP hasn’t been back to confirm that.

Hope springs eternal, though………………..

Apparently her boyfriend is aging backwards. He was 20 six months ago.