Hand hold please - self loathing after Christmas party

[fireatthechristmasparty]

Posting here for traffic- really really need a handhold right now.
The Christmas party on Friday turned into an all nighter and I drank more than anyone ever should. I am usually reliable, dependable and quite sensible to the point of boring. But things have been stressful lately and I just wanted to let my hair down. I went too far though.
My workmates got me home and most of them have responded to my apologies over the weekend with reassurance that all is okay and they had fun. Everyone else was pretty merry but I was smashed. Most of them did drugs too but I just drank (enough to sink a small vessel).
I know that I chatted a load of shit about the state of my marriage (which is always a bit up and down) and I feel so ashamed.

I have to go back to work at 08:00 today and can't sleep because I feel so anxious. I do suffer from depression and anxiety and take a low dose antidepressant, but have been terrible at remembering to take it for a few weeks now. I basically only ever get drunk at the Christmas party, not at all throughout the rest of the year. I know why I drank so much and I feel terrible that I chose to do that instead of dealing with my stresses properly.
Please if there is anyone there to hold my hand and get me through this anxiety I would be so grateful.

10 is outrageous, but even though it was more prolific & er ... fruitful than 8, I reckon 8 takes the medal for embarrassment. God it's funny to read, must have been cringe city IRL though.

8. Sleep with a co-worker then next year at the party tell everyone how shit that person was in bed while they are sat with you.

Eh … I wouldn’t worry about it… Embarrassing drunk moments at the Christmas party, we have all been there! Literally happens to the best of us, luckily I can’t remember any of mine due to alcohol amnesia, so that’s saved me the cringe fest the following day, the mistake you made was not drinking enough to forget the moments of shame 🤣

The worst Christmas party was one where I didn’t drink as it was my first month in the job and didn’t want to make a prat of myself quite so soon… And then my female (happily married to a man so I’m assuming is straight?) manager got off her faced pissed, to the point she couldn’t even stand up without help, and started hitting on me, grabbing me and making really inappropriate comments about my ‘tits’, and demanding I sit next to her when I try to escape😱😳… Does sexual harassment still count if it’s at the Christmas party? Was in front of everyone too, so embarrassing!

Anyway next day was very awkward, not sure if she remembered but there was always this uncomfortable atmosphere between us after that! 🫣

Ever since this I have decided being sober and remembering is much worse than getting drunk at the Christmas work do!

Just say 'it was a really great night wasn't it, I think I checked out before the end, hope I wasn't too embarrassing', or whatever you think is the right thing to say.

I remember an extremely embarrassing Christmas party I worried about for best part of a week before going back to work, and then no one mentioned it. Not sure if they were just being nice (or were as blurry as me) but I felt very relieved.