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Original poster

Hand hold please - self loathing after Christmas party

153 replies

fireatthechristmasparty · 19/12/2022 04:38

Posting here for traffic- really really need a handhold right now.
The Christmas party on Friday turned into an all nighter and I drank more than anyone ever should. I am usually reliable, dependable and quite sensible to the point of boring. But things have been stressful lately and I just wanted to let my hair down. I went too far though.
My workmates got me home and most of them have responded to my apologies over the weekend with reassurance that all is okay and they had fun. Everyone else was pretty merry but I was smashed. Most of them did drugs too but I just drank (enough to sink a small vessel).
I know that I chatted a load of shit about the state of my marriage (which is always a bit up and down) and I feel so ashamed.

I have to go back to work at 08:00 today and can't sleep because I feel so anxious. I do suffer from depression and anxiety and take a low dose antidepressant, but have been terrible at remembering to take it for a few weeks now. I basically only ever get drunk at the Christmas party, not at all throughout the rest of the year. I know why I drank so much and I feel terrible that I chose to do that instead of dealing with my stresses properly.
Please if there is anyone there to hold my hand and get me through this anxiety I would be so grateful.

OP posts:
inappropriateraspberry · 19/12/2022 08:32

Did you strip naked, give the boss a lap dance and/or be sick in a colleague?
If not, and you were just drunk and rambling I really wouldn't worry. It doesn't sound like you did anything particularly embarrassing and everyone else was also drunk (or on drugs) so they probably can't remember much either.
Just go to work, and join in the moaning about hangovers.

pilates · 19/12/2022 08:36

It’s allowed at the Christmas party - honestly don’t worry about it.

inappropriateraspberry · 19/12/2022 08:38

And if anyone brings up something you said - tinkly laugh - "Did I say that? I can't remember I was so drunk!" and walk away. No need to confirm or deny.

Lalliella · 19/12/2022 08:42

Your colleagues sound lovely to get you home. And remember - you love them all! I’m sure they’re nice people who won’t care at all. And remember they were doing drugs and you weren’t so at least you stayed legal!

It sounds like you need to do something about your marriage issues though.

Stressedmum2017 · 19/12/2022 08:47

Oh god you are fine you haven't said one thing that made me cringe, aside from getting smashed sounds pretty tame tbh. You didn't get rejected by a coworker in front of everyone, throw up on your boss, try and slut drop but fall over in the street. You are fine.

Stressedmum2017 · 19/12/2022 08:49

Oh and for what it's worth people who are on drugs (im assuming coke) don't actually take in what other people are saying.

Lincolnremain · 19/12/2022 08:52

fireatthechristmasparty · 19/12/2022 08:04

Right, I have dropped DS off at CM and now I am going in to face it! Wish me luck 😬

Good luck! Though you don't need it, you'll be grand

Echobelly · 19/12/2022 08:54

Basically, you were rather more ebullient than usual - you didn't vomit everywhere, you didn't come on to anyone or start a fight. People might have a little laugh about you not letting anyone get a word in edgeways but it's not going to be a big deal - really no reason to feel self loathing at all.

Bellaboo01 · 19/12/2022 08:57

fireatthechristmasparty · 19/12/2022 08:04

Right, I have dropped DS off at CM and now I am going in to face it! Wish me luck 😬

i literally could have written this!

You will be fine lovely. Please dont worry about it. I know i would also but, i am certain all will be ok. I am a worrier like you but, it also is good to let your hair down sometimes.

Its Christmas and if you cant be like this at Christmas time, then when can you!?

Hand holding for you XX

Norberta · 19/12/2022 09:07

As someone who in the past has been in the naughty crew at work I can safely say a) they will have chatted more shit than you and be as anxious if not more and b) they will absolutely love that they managed to lead a sensible Susan astray for the night. I have done sooo much worse thank this on soooo many work nights out and never seen a single serious repercussion. Don’t stress!

schoolsoutforever · 19/12/2022 09:17

Och I’ve done this countless times at a number of workplaces (and I’m nearly ten years older than you). People will at most find it a bit funny because you don’t usually behave that way. At least they’ll not bat an eyelid. You drank too much, talked a lot, over shared and danced a bit. Perfectly average Christmas night out. At least you didn’t: snog someone, vomit or take any drugs yourself. I think you did pretty well actually. Just go in completely blasé and, if anyone asks, you had a good night albeit a bad head the next day. Don’t go around apologising because they’ll not have thought you did anything to apologise for.

Original poster
fireatthechristmasparty · 19/12/2022 09:18

So....I am in work and have seen a couple of people but mainly held mumbled conversation with them - definitely haven't "styled it out" very convincingly but then nobody has really said anything that needed to be styled out.
We're all pretty spread out across the site so I won't see everyone at once - I might get a bit of a ribbing if I go into the staff room when everyone is on break, but I shouldn't need to do that if I don't want to.
I think the others are pretty keen to keep the drug use from the boss (which actually surprises me) so we're all being a bit quiet and subdued. I only have a couple of days in work and then a load of time off over Christmas - I can keep avoiding everyone if I have to!!

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 19/12/2022 09:36

Oh bless you OP!!!
Years back I got ridiculously drunk at the Christmas party too. There was free wine flowing and my glass was constantly being topped up and I hardly ever went out, so I went for it! I was fine until I stood up and my main memory of that (very fun) night, was falling out of the lift with my friend in front of other party goers and we were in absolute hysterics and then throwing up. Oh the shame! 🙈
I felt awful like you on the Monday morning but everyone just joked about it and it was absolutely fine!
I have since passed the baton on and now other people show themselves up instead! 😂

Sickofcoughing · 19/12/2022 09:45

Honestly OP nobody cares! They are all thinking about themselves. And even if they are thinking about you it's nothing more than "oh she was very drunk". Nothing negative at all.

FleasNavidad · 19/12/2022 09:45

Ramp it up. Big smile, "HIYA, great night Friday. What a laugh, fucking hanging Saturday mind....never again, haha. Anyway if I don't see you MERRY CHRISTMAS"

No more mumbling ffs!

gothmothtime · 19/12/2022 09:53

Feel free to come join the anxiety on my thread

I'm having the hangover that I think has put me off alcohol forever. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4700526-im-having-the-hangover-that-i-think-has-put-me-off-alcohol-forever

closingloop · 19/12/2022 09:54

I just use the 'oh did I? I'm so sorry, I'm such a twat when I'm drunk' line to gloss over anything I'd rather forget about in these situations.

JustFrustrated · 19/12/2022 09:59

God I hate hangxiety.

I never used to get it, and I get it EVERYTIME I drink now.

Even out with DH and friends, it lasts for days.

I was you last week OP.
And I had ZERO reason to be. I'd gotten drunk, had a giggle, left under my own steam.....

Yet still avoided the office for 3 days.

If your colleagues are trying to keep the drugs hidden....you've nowt to worry about at all.

ancientgran · 19/12/2022 10:13

I'm teetotal so I've seen the lot at Christmas. I think most people don't remember or they are worrying about what they did. There is a vow of silence for teetotalers and we wipe our minds clear the morning after, we do enjoy seeing how daft people get but there are usually so many you don't remember one particular person unless they got violent and I do remember those.

Try not to worry, I'm hoping it has all gone well this morning and even if it hasn't and everyone remembered it will be old news soon enough.

Have a great Christmas and 2023 is a fresh start for us all.

mrswhiplington · 19/12/2022 10:15

Op, you've done nothing wrong. If anyone says anything, come back with "what am I like? You can't take me anywhere." Works for me every time.😃

ancientgran · 19/12/2022 10:16

fireatthechristmasparty · 19/12/2022 09:18

So....I am in work and have seen a couple of people but mainly held mumbled conversation with them - definitely haven't "styled it out" very convincingly but then nobody has really said anything that needed to be styled out.
We're all pretty spread out across the site so I won't see everyone at once - I might get a bit of a ribbing if I go into the staff room when everyone is on break, but I shouldn't need to do that if I don't want to.
I think the others are pretty keen to keep the drug use from the boss (which actually surprises me) so we're all being a bit quiet and subdued. I only have a couple of days in work and then a load of time off over Christmas - I can keep avoiding everyone if I have to!!

I missed your update somehow. It doesn't sound too dreadful, I think I'd go to the staff room and get it out of the way. You don't want to be fretting all over Christmas.

666roses · 19/12/2022 10:26

I have practiced the art of being a complete dick while getting drunk at parties, sorry I can't even score you as you have to do so much better have some tips,

  1. Get your boss to eat a mince pie from your cleavage
  1. Throw up over yourself
  1. Throw up in a colleague's hand bag
  1. Have sex in a public area with someone you have just met
  1. Try to get out of a moving car
  1. Just disappear and no one knows where you have gone and their night is ruined as they were all looking for you
  1. Talk about politics all night as you have nothing else to talk about and you know sod all about politics
  1. Sleep with a co-worker then next year at the party tell everyone how shit that person was in bed while they are sat with you.
  1. Constantly moan about the food, music, drinks then get so drunk they tell everyone that they are not liked and by whom and what people really think of them
  1. Get pregnant and not know who the father is as you slept with 3 co-workers that night.

Disclaimer:I only did number 1, the rest are from people who wish to forget their antic's but I never have 🤣

I have practiced the art of being a complete dick while getting drunk at parties, sorry I can't even score you as you have to do so much better have some tips,

  1. Get your boss to eat a mince pie from your cleavage
  1. Throw up over yourself
  1. Throw up in a colleague's hand bag
  1. Have sex in a public area with someone you have just met
  1. Try to get out of a moving car
  1. Just disappear and no one knows where you have gone and their night is ruined as they were all looking for you
  1. Talk about politics all night as you have nothing else to talk about and you know sod all about politics
  1. Sleep with a co-worker then next year at the party tell everyone how shit that person was in bed while they are sat with you.
  1. Constantly moan about the food, music, drinks then get so drunk they tell everyone that they are not liked and by whom and what people really think of them
  1. Get pregnant and not know who the father is as you slept with 3 co-workers that night.

Disclaimer:I only did number 1, the rest are from people who wish to forget their antic's but I never have 🤣

AlbertaAnnie · 19/12/2022 10:45

Hand hold for you - honestly I know you are cringing but it really doesn’t sound that bad! Just laugh it off and it will all be forgotten very soon - try not to worry

DaisyDaisyDoesHe · 19/12/2022 10:53

TofuonToast · 19/12/2022 08:13

Any snide comments and you brazen in our. ‘And? Weren’t you snorting Charlie?’ Etc. Or ‘what are you on about? I wasn’t even that drunk. You on the other hand…’

🙄

MsRosley · 19/12/2022 11:18

Hanxiety. Most of this is your hangover talking, and it's the main reason I never get drunk any more. OP, I can absolutely promise you that your behaviour is nothing like as bad as it feels to you now. Try not to let the doom thoughts loop in your mind, and be kind to yourself.