Hand hold please - self loathing after Christmas party

[fireatthechristmasparty]

Posting here for traffic- really really need a handhold right now.
The Christmas party on Friday turned into an all nighter and I drank more than anyone ever should. I am usually reliable, dependable and quite sensible to the point of boring. But things have been stressful lately and I just wanted to let my hair down. I went too far though.
My workmates got me home and most of them have responded to my apologies over the weekend with reassurance that all is okay and they had fun. Everyone else was pretty merry but I was smashed. Most of them did drugs too but I just drank (enough to sink a small vessel).
I know that I chatted a load of shit about the state of my marriage (which is always a bit up and down) and I feel so ashamed.

I have to go back to work at 08:00 today and can't sleep because I feel so anxious. I do suffer from depression and anxiety and take a low dose antidepressant, but have been terrible at remembering to take it for a few weeks now. I basically only ever get drunk at the Christmas party, not at all throughout the rest of the year. I know why I drank so much and I feel terrible that I chose to do that instead of dealing with my stresses properly.
Please if there is anyone there to hold my hand and get me through this anxiety I would be so grateful.

Op as others have said just own it and laugh it off !

I agree with everyone else and I'm just posting so I can see later that you're okay.
Been there done that

Hangxiety is an actual thing.

It does not sound too bad and you may find everyone else;
a) - feels the same about their own behaviour
b) enjoys laughing about everything today as a post-bonding gettting over it experience

Do something special with your family this week and don't worry about it. xxx

You're not the first to do this, you won't be the last, and there's always someone who was drunker than you! Don't worry and laugh it off )

I've done a lot worse than that, yours is standard in comparison 🤣.

A few years ago a well liked colleague who always seemed the reticent, sensible one got really drunk at a Xmas party. She was SO much fun! Her sense of humour just shone through.

Stupid but we all saw that side of her after that.

Don't sweat it, laugh it off, most of us have worn that t'shirt of shame at some point 🤣!

Op I once got so drunk at a work Christmas do I dressed up as santa, fully believed no one knew it was me and went around telling everyone my real opinion of them. I then saw the brand new MD leaving, already in his coat, which was a long one, went over to him lifted up the bottom of his coat from behind and blew a raspberry into his arse.

If all I'd done was some dodgy dancing I'd have been delighted with myself. It was so bad, my poor mum who used to hear the aftermath run down of the nights out, even suggested I resign and never go back. I didn't though, I stayed for several more years!

Ps if your mates were on drugs I can almost guarantee you that you were not the one not letting them talk.

One of my colleagues got unbelievably drunk last week at the Christmas do, swearing at us, aggressive, no idea of where they were. No one has said anything other than sympathy as she’s going through a hard time and is normally nothing like that. I really wouldn’t think anymore about it.

Good luck today!
I once got so drunk at the work Christmas party that I told my senior manager that my friend ( another colleague) fancied him and wanted to shag him 😳
She was furious, he was nonplussed...I acted like a teenager but I was 32!
Own your party antics there are a lot worse out there 😂😂😂

So they were openly doing coke, but you are the one stressing over your behaviour? I wouldn't give it a second thought. You got shit faced, unless you ended up in bed with your boss as a result of your state I can't understand your stressing? Shrug it off, "I had a great night" end of, they were probs off their heads on drugs anyway.

Op this goes with the territory of work Christmas parties! Honestly don’t worry!

I wouldn't worry OP. Hope you enjoyed yourself at the party.
Many, many years ago I got smashed at my works party. I tripped over but landed on my manager who went flying. I was mortified and spent the whole weekend worrying. Came into work and someone had put wellies under my desk and a note saying, these should be more suitable footwear. It was hilarious and all was fine.
The worse one wasn't me this time, but another manager got wasted, ended up proposing to his girlfriend and she said No. She left and he was very upset.

It sounds like nothing, as PPs said you have hangover anxiety (happens to everyone) but what you said/did could have been a thousand times worse and barely even makes it into ‘style it out’ territory. Don’t even give it another second’s thought, carry on with your day and forget about it.

@GiantWotsit
I fucking love that story!!

Look on the bright side! You didn't snog your boss, or call him/her a cunt

Loads of us have....

I guarantee that if they were doing drugs that they absolutely won't be judging somebody who got drunk. They really won't.

Right, I have dropped DS off at CM and now I am going in to face it! Wish me luck 😬

I give you 10 mins in the office and you'll be fine op.... x

Any snide comments and you brazen in our. ‘And? Weren’t you snorting Charlie?’ Etc. Or ‘what are you on about? I wasn’t even that drunk. You on the other hand…’

You don’t need good luck, so I’m not giving it to you! You’ll be fine.

I’ve done so many bad things at parties your evening sounds quite tame - honestly!!

i’m too embarrassed to share mine, but I’ll share a night I witnessed. We all went to another city for our party, hotel covered too. One colleague had fancied this other colleague for ages and ages (both single, all fine). Eventually very late in the evening they got it together and he suggested they went up to his room…he went up first to ‘prepare’ he thought he’d impress her with his fancy jacuzzi bath, and ignored the sign that said ‘do not add any bath additives while using jacuzzi mode’….. he added his whole bottle of shower gel, switched it on, and managed to fill his entire bathroom with a sea of foaming bubbles. He slipped over, broke his nose on the side of the bath. Blood everywhere. He had to be rescued, naked by his love interest. It was not his finest moment!!

a friend of mine got so drunk at her works do she woke up on the sofa of her colleagues house and had no idea where she was. It was pre mobile phone and Uber days so she had to try and figure out the address still not knowing whose house she was in yet alone the address. She threw up
in the taxi home.

She was a similar age to you and a parent. In a professional role with management responsibilities. He colleagues just found it funny. We have all gotten too drunk at some point.

You are not alone in this. Good luck. It will be fine.

At least you didn’t snort everyone under the table, and then attempted to snog everyone one with a white crusty nose.
And then you didn’t finish the night vomit stained, staggering on the dance floor and shitting yourself on it.
The above happened to someone I know, not at a Christmas party, but at a wedding. 😱

Good luck today OP. It really won’t be as bad as you think. You probably bonded with people on a level you haven’t done before and they will be really nice.

Everyone has done what you have done. I have done much worse, several times! Going in all apologetic and sad just prolongs it, best thing to do is go in declare yourself still dying, blanket sorry I was being a little too talkative and laugh. Most people have done same and understand. It will be someone else next year!

Just adding that I am one of the several million others people who have done the same as you! We can all laugh about it later. Cheer up OP. Half your colleagues probably feel the same.

If anyone mentions it which they won’t just say I have no idea what you are talking about